


Siege/Surrender

by yukiscorpio



Category: The Last Remnant
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2014-01-11
Packaged: 2018-01-02 01:08:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 72,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1050722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukiscorpio/pseuds/yukiscorpio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While on an educational and ambassadorial trip, David Nassau is attacked by the most dangerous enemy of all. As his own life and those he holds dear are threatened, old wounds are also reopened, but it seems like some would prefer to let them bleed rather than mend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story doesn't follow canon but uses more-or-less the same setting, with some elements altered.
> 
> Originally published on LJ in June 2009.

The constant bumping and swaying were accompanied by the noise of wheels grinding on old tracks, mechanisms rotating relentlessly, and wood creaking, as if something would snap any moment. After being on the train for ten hours, however, David hardly felt or heard the movement any more. This journey was considerably more comfortable than the last despite the general condition of the train, which looked grime-covered when in fact it was merely very old.

David opened his travel case and took out a packet of nuts to chew on.

Unsurprisingly, since the last stop there were very few people left on the train and now David had a small cabin to himself. Next stop would be the final stop - Ghor, not known for being a holiday destination. It was known, in fact, for its colourful history and its conflicts with Celapaleis, which David's father once described as "a children's fight between two grown men". His father often played mediator between the two lords, a skill that David knew he would have to master one day. And the learning would begin with this visit. Because of the long history between Athlum and Celapaleis, Qubine was more-or-less a family friend and although David wasn't particularly fond of him, he knew Qubine was essentially a good man and a good ruler. Lord Ghor, however, was someone David hardly knew. His father said Lord Ghor was quite approachable and there was nothing to worry about, but David knew this was a test of his diplomatic skills and he had no intention to fail.

Putting his snack away, he lay down on the long seat, got the black coat he had taken off earlier and used it as a blanket. It would be a while longer before the train reached Ghor's border and there was nothing better to do but rest.

"Er, sorry, is anyone sitting there?"

David looked up. A mitra around his own age was at the door, eyeing the seat opposite to David.

"No. Feel free."

"Thanks." The young man went inside the cabin, put his luggage under the seat and then closed the door. "I was sitting in the next one. Some guy came in and sat down, and he reeked so bad... anyway, thanks, and sorry, I'll be quiet now."

David nodded. "Would you please wake me when we reach border control?"

The young man shrugged. "The guards would wake people up anyway, but sure."

"Thank you."

David didn't sleep - he didn't want to when there were strangers around - but he closed his eyes and rested until he felt the train coming to a stop. The young man was eating beef jerky when he sat up. He offered some to David.

Soon after the train stopped completely heavy footsteps could be heard from the corridor outside. Then three men, all yamas, opened the door to David's cabin. "Passport and luggage inspection," the one in front announced, "and hurry the fuck up, we don't have all day."

David handed his passport over. The man frowned when he saw the cover, then when he looked inside he gasped.

"Thank you," said David, holding his hand out and looking at the guard in the eye, an eyebrow arched, indicating that he should hand the passport back right away rather than show it around unnecessarily. The yama got the message.

"There you go, sir. Welcome to Ghor." He returned the passport, suddenly looking a lot more respectful. He ordered the men behind him not to touch David's luggage, then his attention turned to the other mitra occupying the cabin. "Is he with you, sir?"

David shook his head.

Raising an eyebrow at the exchange, the young man sharing the cabin pulled out his luggage from under the seat. The yama gauged its size and weight. "Passport and licence."

David's eyes widened when the guards opened the bag to reveal, alongside clothes and food, two swords. The leader guard checked the young man's passport and another small booklet, gave a satisfactory nod and moved on to the next cabin.

"Some magic passport you have?" The young man said conversationally, sliding his huge bag back to where it was before.

David just shrugged. He wasn't going to tell random strangers he was the next in line to Athlum's rule; that would defeat the purpose of this tour. "Not as magical as your licence."

"Well I kinda need that to get work."

It suddenly made sense. "You are a warrior?"

"Yeah."

David recalled what he had been told before: Ghor was where warriors congregated and got work, with guilds for mercenaries, hunters and other specialists everywhere in the country. It was a rigorously regulated trade for the elite and gaining a licence was many people's lifetime ambition.

His interest perked, David sat forward a bit, reaching for the dubious-looking beef jerky on the table between them. "To have obtained a licence at your age, you must be very gifted. What sort of work do you do?"

The young man looked a bit embarrassed by the praise. "Just luck really. I'm gladiator-class."

David chewed on the beef jerky. It was surprisingly good. "Monster killing?"

"Yeah." The young man pointed at their snack. "You like it? I brought it all the way from Eulam."

"The island off the west coast?"

"Hey, you know where it is!" The young man grinned, surprised. "Most people haven't even heard of the place, much less know where it actually is!"

David smiled back. He had stationed in Eulam for months at a time on military missions to protect the island from Nagapurian oil miners.

Casual chatting made time flow much faster, the young man's unobtrusive friendliness and quiet confidence lightening David's mood. It felt like barely any time had passed before the train pulled into Ghor International Station.

"Well, nice talking to you," the young man picked up his heavy bag with one hand and offered David the other. "The name's Rush. Rush Sykes. If you ever need anything... you know, monster infestation and stuff like that, you can contact me through Union of the Golden Chalice in Warrior Town."

"It was nice to meet you, Rush. I will remember." David shook the proffered hand, not giving his name. In their hour of talking he gave nothing away about himself and Rush must have noticed that. But Rush only smiled some more, pulled his bag over his shoulder and made his way out, disappearing into the crowd.

Ghor International had only two platforms, with trains going to and from Elysion, very small compared with some of the stations David had used in his journey so far. Construction was under way for new platforms and tracks to go directly to Athlum, but other than that the station probably had not seen a renovation for over fifty years. Even so, David found the stone balustrades, iron railings and out-dated signs quite pleasing. He had no idea where to go yet - his meeting with Lord Ghor was in three days' time, meaning he was in no hurry to get to the embassy. That left enough time to travel around a bit and get the formal attire in his luggage straightened first.

He made his slow way towards the exit, thinking he should have asked Rush about places to visit. Passing by a news stand, he glanced at the headline board.

_Celapaleis Lord On Verge Of Death_

He paused. Did the people of Ghor dislike Celapaleis so much they would spread such non-sense? Taking a closer look at the stand, he saw that every paper had similar headlines.

There was no reason to believe in such claims but the feeling of dread grabbed David for some reason. He could call home to check, though. It had been a while since he last called anyway. Torgal must be worried sick by now.

Following the woefully inadequate and misleading signs, David eventually found a phone box back inside the station. A familiar-looking person just picked up the receiver.

"Hey, hi again!" said Rush. Then, seeing David's obvious unease, he tilted his head. "Are you in a hurry? You can use this first."

"Oh, no, you don't need to do that."

"It's fine. Come on." Holding his bag close to him so that he could get out of the phone box, Rush offered the receiver to David with the other hand whilst swapping places with him.

The phone exploded in his hands.

It was a reflex rather than conscious reaction from the brain. David and Rush both grabbed the person nearest to them - each other - and ducked low. David stared at the phone that had fallen from Rush's hand and was swinging back and forth on its cord. The ear piece of the receiver had just been completely obliterated. An arrow fell to the ground several feet away from them.

Another whistle in the air, a new arrow flew and lodged itself into the wood of the phone box before he could even take another breath. Not a random, stray arrow then. Someone was aiming at him or Rush. He reached inside his coat and felt for his knife.

"This isn't Ghor's usual way of greeting visitors," muttered Rush as the people around them started to move, righteous warriors trying to locate the cowardly archer who loosed arrows in a busy urban area. With two arrows released and no hit, the archer should be fleeing now, using the commotion to cover his or her movements. This was also the right time for David and Rush to leave the area as well.

David quickly went through his options. Not knowing exactly why he was being shot at - although the intended target could very well be Rush - heading to the embassy would be the best idea if it wasn't located on the other side of Ghor. Sticking to Rush would be a bad idea whichever of them was the target. But he didn't know his way around this country...

"Come on!" Rush grabbed David's arm and pulled him up, and David found he had little choice but to run with him.

Carrying their luggage, they ran for nearly twenty minutes before arriving at a dusty district full of fallen arches and stone columns. Shops seemed to have carved themselves into walls of rock and invaded structures that must have once been grand.

They slowed down a bit to catch their breaths and jostle the weights they had been carrying. "I've never been shot at out of the blue like that!" Rush sat down on a bit of fallen granite column.

"Neither have I," said David. It was true. He had had arrows aimed at him before, but that was always on the battlefield.

"You've got pretty quick reactions. Are you a fighter?"

David did not answer the question. He had spent several years in the army as another part of his essential education, first fighting as an ordinary soldier and then leading as a commander. But there was no need for Rush to know.

At David's reluctance to say anything about himself, Rush just shrugged. "Well there's no reason for anyone to want to kill me. So that was probably for you I guess."

There was no response to that speculation either. "Where can I find a telephone?"

"There's one just round the corner," Rush pointed to their left. "Go for it. I'll watch your back."

"Rush..."

"It pisses me off, people shooting at other people in the back. Ask anyone here and they'll tell you the same." Rush's frown looked like an angry pout, amusing David despite the situation.

They armed themselves, both of them pulling out the swords in their luggages, then went for the phone. The whole thing was still disturbing him, but it felt safer to have another pair of eyes even though he hardly knew Rush, who stood some distance away, far enough not to be able to hear the phone conversation but close enough to react to anything. Still, when David made the call to Athlum Castle, he kept his voice quiet.

"Hello? Is that Lord David? Young Master?" Blocter's voice came through. David picked up the distress in his tone.

"Yes. I need to speak with my lord father immediately."

"Oh, Young Master, we've been waiting for you to call back! It's... well... oh wait, Torgal's here. I'll let him talk to you." And then, with the phone held slightly away, Blocter shouted for Torgal, who picked up the call.

"Lord David! Are you safe?"

"For the moment. I think someone tried to shoot at me but I cannot be sure," replied David. "What is going on? I need to speak with my father!"

"Where are you? We need to dispatch help for you right away."

"Torgal. My father," David repeated, anger tainting his words now. But suddenly he knew the reason for Torgal's reluctance. "Something has happened to him?" he asked, not realising he was holding his breath.

After a long pause, Torgal spoke. "Yes... a poisoning."

"What is his condition?" David's voice dropped to a whisper. He felt dizzy.

"The outlook is not good. It took very long for the poison to be identified, so the antidote was administered much later than preferred..."

"And?" David demanded, raising his voice when he did not receive an answer immediately. "Speak!"

"There is a chance he might not wake."

David kept the phone pressed to his ear, stunned to silence. Being shot at was one kind of shock, hearing that his father's life was hanging by a thread was a completely different kind of horror.

"I've failed Athlum, my lord. I... have failed you and your father..."

Torgal's voice saying those words brought David's mind back. Torgal never spoke like that. "We will play the blame game later. What of Lord Qubine?"

"Also poisoning. The news at Celapaleis got leaked, but we are able to control it in Athlum so far."

"Good. Keep it that way." David put a hand on the side of the dusty phone box to steady himself. "I need to go home right away."

"Where are you, my lord?"

"I've just arrived in Ghor. An archer tried to take my life at the train station." Given what he had just heard, David did not doubt he was the one the archer was after. "But I got out unharmed with a bit of luck and some help from a stranger."

Torgal breathed an audible sigh of relief. "I would recommend not going to the embassy or Ghor Castle. Whoever they are, they know you are in Ghor and would be lying in wait at all the routes that lead that way."

"Then what do you suggest?"

"Assume that you can trust no one. Find a safe place to hide and then contact me again with your location. Emma and I will come for you. We have been ready to leave for some time and were just waiting to find out where you are. We would send a larger party but - "

"That would only attract attention. We don't want to give off a sense of crisis and have people start wondering about things. The two of you is more than enough."

"Yes, my lord."

"Send word to Lord Ghor for me; I was to meet him in three days' time but that will have to be postponed." If this happened in Celapaleis, David would not hesitate to seek aid from Qubine. But although Athlum and Ghor had been allies for many years, David did not know Lord Ghor well enough to judge if he could let him know about his father's condition and that the west continent was suffering a potential power collapse.

"Yes, my lord."

"Tell everyone this: for now, I leave matters in your hands. You have all done well so far. Keep calm and carry on."

"Yes, my lord."

"I will look for a safe place and lie low," said David, although he had no idea how to do this. "Leave now. You will have to pass through Elysion on your way. I will call the embassy there. This will save us both some waiting time."

"Understood. And my lord, since you are in Ghor... an old associate of mine is a member of the Union of the Golden Chalice. I have no idea where he is at the moment, but I can try to send word to him without explicitly explaining who you are. If he happens to be around then he can aid you in the meantime. Would that be agreeable?"

"If he is someone you trust, then we can try. What is his name?"

"Allan. A sovani."

"I will seek him out at the guild as well," said David. "Enough discussion. Let's get moving. I will ring the embassy at Elysion at this hour in two days' time."

"Take care. We will get to you as soon as we can."

"I feel safe knowing that you are coming for me."

There was a short pause before Torgal responded. "Thank you, Da... Lord David."

David put the phone back on the hook, then half-collapsed against the phone box. This was the first time he ever had to reassure Torgal, a sign of how terrible the situation was. His father might die. Qubine might die. Someone was out for his life, too, and no one knew who the enemy was, although they could make a few informed guesses. There was no one he could trust but his generals and a man called Allan, whom he had never met...

"Hey, you okay?" Seeing that the call had finished, Rush went over to David. "You don't look so good."

...and Rush. Perhaps he could trust Rush? Back on the train, David was resting some of the time, completely defenceless, and Rush hadn't tried to harm him.

"I'm fine." David stood up better. "You said you are a member of the Golden Chalice. Do you know anyone by the name of Allan? He is a sovani."

"Yeah, heard of him. We don't have many sovanis. You wanna look for him?" Rush asked and David nodded. "I'll show you to the guild then."

"Just give me directions. I don't think you should stay with me any longer."

Rush thought about it for a moment. "It's not far. Let's go. I need to go there to check if there's work anyway."

They started to walk, declining offers from rickshaw drivers along the way, through a rather open area with no way for anyone to ambush, reaching their destination half an hour later. Then Rush led the way, going through alleyways, walking up some steps and going down some, ducking under low arches, passing by a market with haphazardly set up shops, to finally arrive at a nondescript door.

The Union of the Golden Chalice was a world-renowned organisation, but its base in Ghor stuck to its humble origins. The room behind the door was small, not even the size of David's bathroom at home. A yama man and a mitra woman stood behind a counter, chatting to themselves. A door behind them probably led to other rooms. Next to the front door were well-worn leather sofas. A plant stood next to the only window, soaking up what little sunlight it could get.

Rush gestured at the people. David decided this meant he should ask his own questions.

"I am searching for one of your members called Allan. A sovani."

"Allan... Allan..." The woman reached for a notebook under the counter and flicked through the pages. "He's in the middle of a job at the moment."

Damn! "When will his work finish?"

"I can't tell you that. You can leave him a message though."

Then David saw a hand holding out a small booklet. Rush stood beside David, showing his licence to the woman, who arched an eyebrow and studied her notebook again. "Says here he's in Berechevaltelle. It's not a complicated job, I suppose it might be done soon if it isn't already. If you want to give him a message then do it soon, we've got a courier going that way later today. Can't guarantee he'll still be there though."

The woman gave David pen and paper. As he pondered over how best to write this message, he heard Rush asking for hunting work.

"I want something big, not a two-day job."

"Not many big hunts going on I think... here, a pub owner in Baaluk needs help with some spiders and echidnamoths, that should be around a month's work."

"That's really out of the way! Isn't there anything closer?"

"Nope. Really, you can look in the book if you like."

Rush groaned.

"You could negotiate on the leg fee maybe? You could probably up the whole thing to three thousand gold. If not, the list of wanted rares is longer than ever."

"Yeah, I suppose... I'll think about it first."

David penned his message, passed it to the woman who put it into an envelope and then sealed it with wax. What David written was vague, but he mentioned Torgal which should hopefully be sufficient. He thanked the woman, then made his way out with Rush.

They both looked around them, checking for suspicious-looking characters.

"Well, I guess that's no work for me and no help for you..." Rush said, his voice drifting off as he screwed his eyebrows together and twisted his mouth, deep in thought. And then, "you know, I've an idea."

"Which is?" David sighed. Right now he was open to ideas. It wasn't as if he had any.

"You can hire me?" At David's widened eyes and dropped jaw, Rush grinned and shrugged. "Kidding. I could recommend you someone from the guild. We've got good bodyguards."

"No... that is a possibility..."

The less people getting involved in this the better. Rush had already proven himself to be helpful and without intention to kill David.

"No way, man. I kill monsters, not people."

People were the real monsters, David thought. "It is not bodyguarding I need. What I need are some clothes, a safe place to hide for a few days and food to sustain me until my help arrives."

"Still..."

"I admit there will be danger involved even if you keep your involvement to the minimum. But the offer is there."

"How much are you offering?"

The woman at the guild mentioned three thousand gold for a month's work in Baaluk, and that included expenses. David worked out his offer accordingly. "Ten thousand gold up front, an additional ten thousand when help arrives."

Rush drew a sharp breath through his mouth.

"My help should arrive within three days - four days maximum. If it doesn't, then feel free to leave me." These conditions were harsh on David, but he couldn't make himself ask for more from someone with no obligation to serve him. Rush wasn't even his own countryman. "And I will not ask you to kill anyone."

A long silence followed. Rush was weighing this up. "All this, without a contract?"

"No." Rush must have learned by now that David wished to remain as unknown and unseen as possible. Putting his name down on a contract to be held by the guild was simply not going to happen. "All I can offer is money."

"You're making this really darn hard." Rush rubbed his temples as if nursing a headache. "I really could do with some money right now. But... I don't know who you are. There might be a really good reason why you got shot at."

"That is fine. I understand." This wasn't going to work. Rush had a sense of self-preservation, which David could respect. He looked inside his travel case and found a leather purse. He wasn't sure how much was inside, but memory seemed to say there was several thousand gold. "Could you recommend a place for me to stay?"

"Uh... the ruins outside of town would probably be your best bet. We passed by it on our way."

David nodded. He took Rush's hand and pressed the purse into it. "A token of my appreciation. Thank you for all your help."

"What?" Rush opened the purse. David was already leaving. "Holy crap! You can't call this a _token_! I can't - "

"Then think of it as payment to keep your lips sealed. It doesn't matter. Please accept it, I would feel better if you do."

It wasn't as if David was giving Rush much choice. Ignoring the shocked mutterings, David left Rush at the front door of Union of the Golden Chalice, heading straight for the market.

Most stalls had closed for the day and he only managed to get a piece of clothing with a hood that could help conceal his face and hair. He would have to worry about food some other time; it was getting dark and darkness was assassins' best friend. This sort of time, dusk, which gave a false sense of security yet cast shadows at every corner, was particularly deadly.

He found his way back to the ruins. It was impossible to tell what the structure once was, it could have been a barracks, a temple, or something else entirely. But it was, indeed, a good hiding place and after searching around for a bit David found himself an area surrounded on three sides by stone and partially enclosed at the top. From here he could defend himself easily because there was only one entrance. There was no way to escape but David thought his chance of staying alive by running from assassins in the shadows would be less than that of fighting his ground where he could see them.

If worse came to worst, he had the Gae Bolg.

Soon, night fell completely.

Having spent time in the army, he thought he would be able to deal with this easily, but it turned out to be much harder than anticipated. This time he was completely alone. His father could be dying right now. He could even already be dead. Gut instinct told David he should just head home now rather than wait for help, but responsibility told him he must not put himself through unnecessarily risks. The duty of a son argued back, along with pride, saying David could handle any danger that came his way and he should leave. But finally it was fear, ambushing him under the cover of darkness, which won.

Torgal and Emma better get here soon.


	2. Chapter 2

The Den of Heroes Inn was a popular inn at Warrior Town, well-known for its low prices. Half of it was built above the pub of the same name, and the other half over what was once Balfeys's Armory of Junk until a drunken brawl destroyed the shop and Balfeys decided to set up elsewhere rather than try to repair the place. The inn had twenty rooms and it was usually full. Anyone wanting a room had to plan ahead and book, which Rush had done the last time he was in Ghor.

"You're back!"

Rush squinted his eyes at the pink monstrosity that was Khrynia. "And you're still here. I thought you were going to Undelwalt," he said, pausing by the so-called reception.

"I'm still saving up for the trip..."

Rush had a knowing look. "Spent too much on accessories again, huh?"

Khrynia's eyes shifted under the brim of her ridiculous hat. "Yeah well, I just can't resist the shiny..." she coughed, embarrassed. "Anyways! You've got a booking, yes! Here is your key! Third door on the right!"

Arriving at the room, Rush locked the door, put his things down and threw himself on the bed, which had a mattress that only just about managed to cushion the fall. The furniture creaked, and coins jingled. After staring at the ceiling for a while, Rush rolled onto his side and pulled out the purse he had been given by the strange young man earlier. Opening it, he poured the contents out - a huge pile of gold, mostly in bills, coming roughly to seven thousand, more cash than he had ever held in his hands in his life. That was how much he would have earned in three months if he was kept busy.

Who knew where this money came from? Like he said before, there was probably a very good reason why the guy got shot at. He didn't look like a bad guy but you couldn't tell from the way people looked. All Rush knew was he was a polite and terribly good-looking person who refused to give away his name. And Rush thought he had seen him before, but could not say where or when. Maybe the newspaper? So this money could very well be stolen or robbed from people and Rush wanted nothing to do with money like that. It wasn't as if he earned it himself anyway.

But when Rush told the guy he needed the money, it was the truth. Home in Eulam wasn't going to rebuild itself and his family couldn't rely on the goodwill of their friends and relatives forever.

Honestly, he didn't think that guy was a bad guy. Not that he had met a lot of bad guys before, but those people would never speak like that - every word pronounced correctly and never missing the t's and d's at the end, a clear sign of an upper-class education - nor would they give money away even when refused help. That guy just seemed generally quite a nice person, albeit a bit weird. There was something about him that made Rush wanted to know him. And he knew of Eulam, too. That was something which rated very high in Rush's book.

What Rush needed was reassurance that this money was clean and therefore okay to accept. And perhaps do something to help that guy so that he could feel he had earned this.

Some time later, Rush found himself outside again, carrying his sword, some food provisions from his own stockpile, a lantern and a blanket he bought from the inn, and heading towards the ruins.

So ancient that there was no record of what it once was, the ruins had no name and were just known as the ruins. Year after year it got smaller as people took stones from it for their construction projects, a practice passively encouraged by Ghor's authorities who didn't want to pay for the clean-up. It wasn't a pleasant place but it provided a bit of shelter from the elements and anyone hiding there could easily make themselves very difficult to locate, a problem which multiplied tenfold now that it was night. Holding the lantern before him, Rush searched for a good while but he couldn't find anyone apart from a mitra couple who was doing something that really should not be done in public. Blushing to the tips of his ears, Rush scampered his way out. Perhaps the guy was hiding himself really well, or he'd chosen some other place to go. With a sigh, he returned to the inn.

The next morning, Rush woke up and sensed something in the air. Going outside, nothing seemed abnormal but the dust wasn't settled - which, considering this was Ghor, synonym to sand and dust, should not be a surprise, but this was a different kind of dust. This was tension. And the ground beneath Rush's feet seemed to be vibrating with it.

Carrying the supplies for the young man whose name he still didn't know, Rush decided to check the guild first. Someone there always knew what was going on.

"How would I know? They - wait. There, he's one of the two."

Rush stopped inside the door. The mitra woman from yesterday and a sovani man, dressed in green, were both looking at him. The sovani sneered, looking unimpressed. "You, hmm?"

It took a while for things to click for Rush. "You're Allan?"

" _Someone_ located where I was staying in Berechevaltelle and rang me there. Then I got a note as well. My God, you people will just keep harassing me until I came." Allan was leaning on an elbow on the counter, rolling his eyes and sighing. "So where is he?"

Rush didn't want to mention the ruins here. "Let's go out and talk about this on the way."

He left with Allan and roughly explained the situation.

"So you're just a kid who got himself involved. I don't know why mitras just can't keep their noses out of other people's business."

Rush adjusted the weight on his shoulder and chose to stay quiet. No point arguing with sovanis about this; they would never understand.

"And now I've got to grab that blond mitra boy and get out of Ghor. You'd want to do that too, kid. Get out of Ghor."

"Huh? Why?"

"Nagapur's army is marching. I saw them on my way back here."

"Marching... you mean they're coming to Ghor?"

"No, they're going to Fornstrand to hunt crabs for pâté." Allan rolled his eyes again. "Of course! Where else? I told the guild and they're sending the scouts to find out what is going on, but I know what I saw. Ghor's army is ready too, they just aren't telling the people." He shook his head. "Politicians! Lords! They don't care about whether people lived or died."

"So, like... how soon?"

"The fighting? Probably tonight. Maybe earlier. You better run for it. You mitras are so damn fragile," Allan spat out the last word.

The thought of a war happening so soon frightened Rush, but the way Allan spoke pissed him off as well. "Then why are you going out of your way to help a mitra?"

"Because someone decided to call in a favour. And even though it's from more than a hundred years ago I'm still going to honour it." They had arrived at the ruins. "Look, I'm telling you to run. This has nothing to do with you, right?"

There were two options and Rush knew he should get the hell out of Ghor, or at least go back to the guild to check if what Allan said had any truth in it. But...

"Let's look for him. Two people searching will be faster than one."

"Hn."

They entered the ruins together, searching every nook and cranny, both wishing they knew a name they could call. Earlier Allan seemed very unwilling to do this, but now that they were here Rush could see he was serious about it and he was, in fact, extremely worried although he had never met the blond mitra before and didn't know much more than Rush.

His bad attitude returned when they finally found the young man. Making yet another turn and entering an area towards the back of the ruins, Allan's throat suddenly met cold steel.

"Oh, bloody hell," said Allan, although he seemed more impressed than annoyed. Behind him, Rush only saw what was happening when the blade was lowered.

"Tor..." It was that young man's voice. "You are..."

"The name is Allan. Don't get me mixed up with that despicable man, _please_. Grab your things; we're getting out of Ghor."

The young man went to gather his few belongings. He looked dishevelled after sleeping rough and was wearing something with a hood pulled over his head. "Torgal is supposed to be meeting me here. Why are we leaving and is he aware of this?"

"Nagapur's army is at the border so I don't care if he's coming here, you're getting out. Torgal can take care of himself well enough."

The young man froze. "Hermeien is marching on Ghor?"

"Well the two never got on, did they. They're always doing military exercises too close to each other's border. This is just the final step."

The young man muttered something to himself as he got his things together. Only then did he see Rush, who was standing behind the tall sovani all along. "Rush? What are you doing here?"

Suddenly worried that he probably should not be here, Rush smiled uneasily. "Allan asked me where you went, I figured two people looking is quicker than one. And you might be hungry," he said, tossing a packet of beef jerky over. "Seven thousand gold can buy you a lot of that, yanno."

The young man caught the snack. He seemed touched. "Thank you very much."

"I'm putting that on expenses," said Rush with a grin, and then realised that he had just agreed to help this stranger whose name he didn't even know.

And war might be about to break out.

When they stepped out of the ruins, the young man suddenly stopped. Eyes narrowed, he looked about him. Rush could sense it too, as did Allan: vibrations that probably wasn't even there but travelling up their heels and ankles, up their spines and making small hairs on their neck stand on end; an aggressive quiet, the distant roar of something dangerous, not heard but rather, picked up by their fighters' sense.

"War," the young man uttered under his breath, "by nightfall. Is Ghor aware of this?"

"Of course he is. He just isn't telling the people because he doesn't care," said Allan.

"Or he has a strategy in mind and does not wish to cause unnecessary panic," said the young man. "What is our next step?"

"See if the guild scouts have returned. They should know which routes out of the country are safest. I saw the army in the north-east but they could've moved by now." Allan crossed his arms over his chest. "If I was on my own then I'd just pick the quickest way out, but I have to make sure you stay alive and mitras do perish so easily."

Allan headed for the guild after escorting the mitras to the Den of Heroes Inn, where Rush could pick up his things and wait with the young man indoors. "Don't go anywhere until I come back. I can't give Torgal an excuse to say I'm doing a half-arsed job."

Quickly learning what sort of a character Allan really was, the mitras smiled to themselves and went upstairs into the inn.

"Rush! Rush! Look at my new bracelet! Isn't it totally pretty?"

Rush went over to Khrynia, who shoved her wrist in his face. "Nice. Hmm, bet Irina'd like it too."

"I got it from Dante's Items this morning! They should still have a few left!"

Rush wondered if he should tell her that war was at the doorstep. Would that only cause needless panic, or would he be saving her life by telling her? "Actually, I've found work already, so I'm checking out today." He gestured at the nameless young man behind him. "I've got a visitor... is it okay if he stays in my room? We'll just be here for maybe an hour or two, then we'll be leaving."

Khrynia eyed Rush and his visitor. "This inn isn't that kind of establishment, you know!" She smirked. "Besides, can you even, like, last that long?"

"What? You - KHRYNIA!"

"I'm just kidding!" The girl held up her hands in a peaceful gesture, giggling. "Yeah that's totally fine."

After shaking his fist at Khrynia for a while, Rush let it drop. He could not believe she just said that. No, actually, he could. She was Khrynia.

"So you're going soon?" Khrynia put an elbow on the counter, chin in palm and pouting. "And I'm going home today. Who knows when I can see you again? This totally sucks! We haven't even had time to chat!"

"You're going home? When?"

"Like, now. My stuff's packed." She pointed at a trunk and a bag near the counter, which Rush hadn't paid attention to before because they weren't pink. "I was just waiting to say bye to you."

"Right." This was good. Hopefully she wouldn't get caught up in the fighting. "I'm sure we'll meet again. You know how to find me. Have a safe journey, alright?" Where was her home anyway, Rush wondered, but decided it didn't matter.

"Yeah. Take care, Rush," she said with an odd melancholy and wiggled her fingers at him. "Oh, er, I hear they're doing repair stuff to the train tracks later today, so like, you might want to take the train before that. Don't leave it too late."

"Uh, okay. Thanks."

Rush showed the young man to his room and then closed the door, locking it. The young man pulled his hood off and helped himself to a chair. His face looked rather red, probably because of the receptionist's joke earlier.

"Don't mind that girl, her head's not screwed on right." Rush sat down on the bed and started repacking his bag. "So are you going to tell me who you are or am I just not going to know?"

"It is best for you to not know. It is not that I mistrust you, but I am not where I need to be right now and that knowledge, if fallen to the wrong hands, would cause great problems." The young man seemed genuinely apologetic.

This sounded almost like Rush got himself involved in a world-changing plot or something equally bizarre. "But I still need to call you something. You could at least make up a name."

The young man considered this. "Then address me as... Dave."

"Dave. That's cool. Everyone knows a bloke called Dave." Rush grinned. Poor Dave looked so tense, though he supposed anyone would be if they knew their life was in danger. "Hey, you toughed it out pretty well. I couldn't find you last night, then the rain came down and I thought, 'ah damn, this ain't good.'"

"I was able to find partial shelter. It wasn't too bad."

Rush nodded. "Do you want something to eat? The pub downstairs serves food, and they do let you take it up here as well. Or do you want to shower?"

Dave fell quiet for a moment before speaking. "I need to make a call. Is there a phone in this inn?"

"Most of this town doesn't have indoor phones. There's one just outside..." Rush pointed out the window. There was a public phone box directly below. "...not sure if that's a good idea though."

"I must make this call." Dave stood up and pulled his hood back on.

Either Dave had a death wish or this call really was important. Rush followed him out. The phone box was a three-sided metal shelter and Rush blocked the fourth side, his sword obvious by his side. "I'm not trying to listen in. Just keeping you alive."

"I understand."

As Rush scanned the surroundings, Dave made his call.

"Yes," he said, keeping his voice low, "yes. How is my father? ...I see," he sighed deeply. "The situation is not stable and I have to leave Ghor immediately. Allan is with me. I was going to call Torgal tomorrow at their first stop. Call them for me instead. They must avoid Ghor and Nagapur and go home."

Rush wondered what was wrong with Dave's father and where he meant by 'home'.

"Yes, that's correct. I predict it to begin at nightfall." The way Dave spoke had a commanding tone to it. "Get everyone ready, just as a precaution. I want all four of you to be at home and looking after things. I will make my own way back."

After a pause, Dave sighed in defeat. "You are right. I have not considered matters thoroughly enough. ...Not yet. Allan is looking for safe routes out of Ghor as we speak."

Someone was moving towards them. Rush squinted and caught the glint of a sharp edge. "Dave!"

"I have to go." Even as Rush heard the sound of the phone receiver being replaced, a man dressed in all black clashed swords with him. Blocking a blow with his own blade, Rush pushed hard, shoving the assailant backwards. Making use of the momentum, he lunged forward to put his sword to the man's neck.

Now what should he do? He never really fought with people before. Would Dave want to ask this man questions? Should he let him go? Should he kill him?

The sudden surge of adrenaline made Rush's head spin. He had a real person at the tip of his sword -

Blood suddenly exploded in front of him and spattered on Rush's skin, hair and clothes. Rush's eyes fell onto the source - a blade plunged into the black-clad man's chest. Dave's blade.

"Dave!"

"His other hand," Dave said, drawing his sword out, causing more blood to flow. The man's mouth was wide open, but he was dead before he could even scream. Rush looked down - the man's other hand held a dagger, its tip only an inch away from Rush's side.

The assailant fell to the ground, now just a dead body.

"Shit. Oh my God. You just saved me. I thought I was gonna protect you!" And that was why Rush chose to fight monsters rather than people. If he didn't mind killing people he would have joined the army and fought for Eulam. That man must have deliberately let Rush have the upper hand and had planned to stab him in the side since the beginning. Monsters would never do that.

"No, you helped me, Rush. I would already be dead otherwise, with a sword in my back." Dave crouched down and checked the man's neck, finding a tattoo under the collar. Although he must have expected it to be there to have looked for it in the first place, the discovery made his hand tremble.

"What does that mean?" The tattoo wasn't something Rush recognised; he knew little about allegiances and things like that.

"I told you not to go anywhere." A third voice joined them. Allan had appeared from around the street corner and was peering down at the dead body, studying the tattoo. "You really are in some deep shit, aren't you."

The commotion was making people look. Nobody was really doing anything about it - this was Warrior Town, after all, and blood was commonplace - but Dave shook his head. "Let's not talk about this here."

They went back inside Den of Heroes. Still slightly shaken, Rush got a rag from the bar to clean himself up, then they all sat down at one corner.

"Rush, thank you so much for your help. However... I think it is best that you go your own way from now on."

"This is about my not killing people, right?"

"No." Dave exchanged a look with Allan. "This is because I now know who is after my life and I know the full implications. It is not an ordinary attempt to murder. I cannot possibly ask you to get involved in this any further."

"What attempt to murder is ordinary?" Rush asked, incredulous.

Dave smiled and shrugged.

"So... I say bye to you here?"

"Yes. Although you should leave Ghor as soon as you can, too."

"But..." Rush couldn't think of what to say. This was good, he could say he did something to deserve all that money now. And the thought of that dead assassin outside still made him shudder. But how about Dave? Were he and Allan really going to be all right on their own? It wasn't as if Rush could help with much - hell, he couldn't even kill a man - but still...

"Let's take him with us," Allan said.

"Allan?"

Allan's gaze was focused on somewhere towards the bar rather than on the young men. "When I was young and still wet behind the ears, I went travelling by myself and managed to get into truly deep trouble, of the mortal danger kind. Someone completely unrelated came along and offered help. I told him he was insane, but he got me out of it, somehow. Even now, I'm still glad I met him," he said, for once his voice devoid of all cynicism. "This reminds me of that time."

After a long pause, Dave still couldn't make his mind up. "This... I..." he held one hand in another. Only then did Rush pay attention and noticed the patches of thick skin and calluses that were characteristic of a swordsman. "I refuse to ask someone unrelated to risk his life for me. Rush, I will let you decide. I am sure you are aware that the danger is real. The man I just killed belongs to the Third Committee, Wilfred Hermeien of Nagapur's private army. He will not stop until he is sure I am dead. If you have any sanity in you, walk away now and I sincerely thank you for everything."

Hermeien, the Lord of Nagapur. Rush nearly choked. He thought this was probably a feud between powerful families or gangs. Why would Nagapur want to kill Dave? Who was Dave?

But at least he knew who Wilfred Hermeien was. Even someone like him, who barely paid any attention to politics, knew Nagapur was infamous for suppressing the freedom of its people, conducting unethical experiments, and for its approach to getting new natural resources - by using force. Nagapur had its eyes on Eulam because of the oil on and around the island. It was only with help from countries like Celapaleis and Athlum that Eulam was safe so far.

"I'll go with you. I hate Hermeien and if this is the only way I can do something to get on his nerves, I'll do it."

"Then it's settled. Now I have to babysit two mitras instead of one. Torgal will pay for this." Back to his usual self, Allan sneered.

Dave only bowed his head, as if he didn't know how he should react. Allan actually gave him a pat on the shoulder, then stood.

"Let's get out of here before everything goes to hell."


	3. Chapter 3

"There is something about you that makes people want to serve you," Emma told David once, the two of them nursing cups of mulled wine, one of the many times they chatted until daybreak. "Every Nassau seems to have this natural charisma. Use it wisely, Lord David."

This was not Emma meant by "wisely". In fact, this must be the very opposite of it. Allan was Torgal's old associate and he had hinted at a favour he owed Torgal, one that was important enough for him to risk his life and guide David to safety under the threat of the Third Committee. But Rush was different. Rush was absolutely and completely unrelated to any of this. What kind of lunacy caused him to choose to come along?

They were outside of Ghor's borders by early afternoon. To the north was Nagapur, to the east was the ocean, and the scouts from Golden Chalice reported Nagapurian agents being spotted near the railway that ran south towards Elysion, so they decided to head west.

They walked for a whole day without stopping, speaking very little, their concentration focused on spotting potential attackers, twice choosing to detour rather than risk using popular travel routes. The Third Committee should have launched a full-scale search around Ghor by now, so if they could get away from the immediate surrounding area safely and quickly, the chance of getting away completely would be much higher.

As expected from a sovani and someone Torgal recommended, Allan was of top physical form and an excellent navigator. He knew the land well and led the way to a cave he had slept in numerous times in the past. After a quick and uneventful meal, David found himself staring at Rush, then sighing and shaking his head. After some time Rush went over to him and sat down cross-legged on the rock floor.

"Dave," Rush said, using the name Blocter used to call David when they were little until his mortified family put a stop to it, "I'm from Eulam and everybody in Eulam hates Hermeien. We'd do anything to bugger him up."

Pagus and Emma would severely disapprove of Rush's use of language, David thought. But they weren't aware of how the people at school and in the army were really like, anyway. David himself rather enjoyed this lack of formality. "Even so. You could have chosen a method that is less dangerous."

Rush chewed his lip for a while. "Eulam's really small, but it's got oil beneath and all around it. Hermeien keeps sending oil miners and troops over, but Eulam hasn't got an army to protect itself. We're just too small. We have to rely on other countries like Celapaleis and Athlum for help." He stretched his legs out. "They take on volunteers and train some people up whenever they're on the island. I wanted to join but I'm scared of killing people. So all I do is give the troops some beef jerky. This is my chance to really do something, you know?"

David wondered why he never heard about the jerky. Perhaps the troops had finished it all before it could reach him, their commander. "Don't feel bad about not wanting to kill. It is a quality, not a hindrance or a disgrace. The world would be a much better place if there were more people like you."

Rush took some time to digest this, pulling a leg in and playing with bits of frayed material on the hem of his trousers. "Yeah, I suppose," he said in the end, not entirely convinced. Then he changed the topic. "You said someone called Torgal's coming to pick you up?"

"Yes. Torgal and one other. The plan has been disrupted, however. They were already on their way when I called home, but a message has been left for them where they will make a stop. Now I don't know how I am going to meet up with them."

"You're worried?"

David smiled. "There is no reason for me to be." Although that didn't mean he wasn't. "Torgal..." he paused, then decided names didn't matter, "...and Emma are people I trust my life with. They will find me somehow. I only wish I am not making their lives so difficult."

"You don't really know Torgal."

The young men looked to Allan, who was lying on his side at the other side of the cave, facing a wall. Earlier he said he was going to sleep and Rush should take the first shift of the night's watch.

"What do you mean?" David asked.

"He is the kind of man who would make himself important to you and then suddenly up and leave without so much as a 'goodbye'."

"What are you talking about?"

"I wouldn't get too attached to him if I were you."

"Allan," David had no idea what Allan was referring to, but he had a feeling it wasn't his place to say much, "if you feel aggrieved about something, talk to Torgal about it when we meet up. He will listen."

"I don't need a mitra to tell me what to do. It is none of your business."

David was in no mood to argue about something that was, really, none of his business. He picked a sleeping spot - somewhere not far away from Allan but out of Rush's reach, because Rush said he had a bad habit of hugging things in his sleep - and settled down.

"G'night, Dave."

"Good night."

David knew he wasn't going to get to sleep properly. Waking at the slightest of sounds and movements, he gave up when Rush and Allan switched places, telling Allan to go back to sleep and he would keep watch instead.

At where they were, in the inner half of the cave, it was impossible to look outside. David wanted to venture out and smell the air, watch the sky, look for signs that would tell him something about the situation in Ghor. He wondered if Lord Ghor would be suspicious of him, pulling out of a meeting a day before Hermeien's army arrived. But now was not the time to worry about that. On the phone Pagus said his father's condition remained the same. When he returned to Athlum, and if his father still did not get better, it would be up to David to decide on the next actions. What if Ghor asks for the plan to be implemented? Should his priority be Athlum's and Celapaleis's safety? What would his father choose to do? What of the lords of the other countries, what was their situation and where did they stand on this, could this be the chance for them to present a united front and get rid of Hermeien once and for all?

"Are you trying to look cool or are you the insomnia type?" Rush asked, yawning as he lay down, his head landing heavily on the bag that was to be his pillow.

"Neither," David chuckled quietly, not wanting to keep Allan awake as well. "I just have things to think about."

"I suppose it's hard to sleep when you know Hermeien's trying to kill you." With some difficulty, Rush pulled a blanket over himself.

"Yes."

David waited for Rush to ask questions. Having decided he was going to go with David and Allan, perhaps Rush deserved to know who David was and why David's safe return to Athlum was of international importance, to fill that - hopefully temporary - power vacuum in the west and make decisions on what to do about Nagapur. He held no silly illusions or fantasies about staying anonymous, because he was what he was and he had no problems with that, but it was a topic much easier for Rush to bring up in a question, like the ones he had asked before, than for David to bring into conversation.

"If you get tired later wake one of us up or something, yeah?"

"Of course," replied David, watching Rush easily drift off to sleep.

He stayed awake for the rest of the night.

Rousing just before the sun rose, Allan took a look a the mitra he had to take care of, cursed loudly and said something about the troubles Torgal gave him. David knew he looked worse for wear, but in the night he had come up with strategies for different scenarios he might encounter when he returned to Athlum. He hoped he would never have to put them to use, but he had to consider the possibility that his father might not pull through. Hope for the best, plan for the worst - one of the many pearls of wisdom Pagus had given him.

Allan led the way once more. They turned south-west, towards the Ivory Peaks rather than Athlum but that hardly mattered as travelling back to Athlum on foot would take far too long. They were going find a village or town and obtain some horses. Somehow, without Allan explaining, David could tell they were following a route Allan knew well. Hopefully it was one that Torgal also knew and Torgal would catch up with them.

"What are the chances of Hermeien's guys finding us?" Rush asked all of a sudden, looking around them. They were using an abandoned mining tunnel. It once must have branched off into a network but many parts of it had been sealed off, leaving just one straight path, with no place for anyone to hide or lie in wait. It had the cold, damp smell of a place that had never seen the light of the sun, one that reminded David of the dungeons of Athlum Castle. He hoped the person who had poisoned his father was imprisoned there, waiting to be executed by him upon his return. But right now, as disrespectful as it was, he didn't want to be thinking about his father. He was glad Rush asked a question and derailed his train of thoughts.

"That man has conducted experiments on fiends and animals, training them to be used as scouts," he said, feeling tiredness catching up with him but refusing to let it show. "So even if we don't see anyone, safety is not guaranteed."

"That's just a fancy rumour."

"It is real." David had personally encountered those scouts. "Moreover, it would have been difficult for Third Committee members to enter Ghor, which would explain why we only met two of them there. Having failed twice and now that we are outside of Ghor, I expect them to adopt much more aggressive methods once they locate me."

Allan, listening, snorted as if to say that David was stating the obvious. He wasn't the type who spoke much, but when he did his words were usually barbed, and his attitude usual for a sovani. David had to remind himself that Torgal was the strange one amongst sovanis, undiscriminating, polite and quite personable. On the outside, Allan and Torgal seemed complete opposites.

"Allan, you have known Torgal for a long time?" David made his question sound as innocent as he could.

Walking several steps ahead, Allan didn't answer until David started to think his question had been ignored. "Over a hundred years. But I don't know him at all so don't ask me anything."

That didn't make sense until David recalled what Allan had said the night before. Something had happened between those two and Allan was angry at Torgal for it. But if Allan bore as much hate as he implied, then why was he here right now when he could have simply ignored Torgal's request?

Torgal had served Athlum for eighty years. This meant Allan knew Torgal for some time before Torgal's arrival in Athlum, and that was a period of time Torgal never talked about. From his father, David learned that Torgal used to lead the Steel Syndicate with another sovani called...

Allan. The other founding member of the Steel Syndicate. The belated realisation made David wonder why he had not made the connection earlier. Perhaps it was because Allan didn't look like someone who would belong to a peacekeeping organisation, much less found one. Something serious must have happen between them to make Torgal leave for Athlum and for Allan to still be bitter about it so many years later.

Could it be that for the sake of David's safety, Torgal had opened up a very old, yet still festering wound?

David jumped when Rush poked him in the shoulder. "You look like you ate something bad."

"I was only thinking." David shook his head.

Cocking his head, Rush arched a concerned eyebrow, but shrugged when it didn't seem like David wanted to talk about it.

"Ah, it isn't about me," said David by way of explanation of his reluctance to discuss.

"Huh. You're the type that thinks a lot."

"Yes, I suppose I am."

"And you can fight?"

"I am confident with the sword."

"And you're obviously educated. How do you find the time to do everything?"

The question made David smile. "Sometimes I wonder about that myself. Though I do have some very long days occasionally."

"Like staying up all night to think?"

Rush was trying to lighten things up after that conversation killer from Allan. David was happy to oblige.

"That would be one example. I have been told before that my mind never seems to stop."

"Hahaha, that sounds more like..." Rush quieted down all of a sudden. "Guys. Wait." He crouched down. The other two stopped, watching him stare intently at the ground. "Monster trail," he muttered after a few seconds.

"What?" David and Allan tried to see what Rush was gesturing at, but it only looked like the rest of the soil-covered ground. Then he moved several feet forward and traced a clearer print with a finger.

"Rockgraters. Two... three... four of them. " Rush stood up. "They're called rockgraters but they don't actually have anything to do with rocks. Shouldn't be found down in this sort of place normally."

They all looked at each other. Allan checked his swords. "We're hunting them down." He lifted his chin at David. "You really can fight, right? If you can't then it's time to say so."

Perhaps all this taunting and stress had finally got to David. He smirked. "Shall we see?"

Allan and Rush were both used to fighting alone, that was obvious. When they found the monsters near the exit of the tunnel, Rush practically launched himself at them, looking rather gleeful. His style was well-practised, efficient and precise, like a butcher with a carcass. It was something David had never seen before and he would have gaped if he did not have to focus on the fighting himself. Allan, on the other hand, was obviously good at killing anything that moved. He fought with a pair of swords and gave no regard as to which part of the monsters he wanted to keep intact to sell later. Fighting with people like them was hard work; David did not often fight solo and he was used to leading. But although initially the three of them together seemed like a disaster in the making, somehow they found a rhythm that worked and Allan, grudgingly yet with mild amusement, accepted commands from David towards the end, acknowledging his skills on the battle field.

Afterwards, they checked the corpses for anything unusual and Rush searched for useful parts (occupational habit, he said). The rockgraters wore collars, each bearing a number.

They decided to leave as quickly as they could before the Third Committee came to check why their scouts had not returned.

"Hn! I've never run from enemies before! This mustn't happen again!"

It was a sentiment that David shared, but running was the only option. "Three of us against possibly the entire Third Committee..."

"Will lead to certain death?" Rush finished the sentence for him. He didn't seem put off by the experience. If anything, he looked happier after taking down the rockgraters. Before this, David wasn't sure about Rush's abilities, having only seen the brief fight with the Nagapurian at Warrior Town. Now he knew Rush was an expert at dealing with fiends, truly deserving of his gladiator-class warrior licence. Perhaps there were skills that David could learn from him.

Agreeing that they did not want to bring disaster upon other people, they found another resting place rather than enter the nearest village as planned. The Third Committee would still search the village but they should not cause major chaos this way.

"How long do you think they'll be here for?"

"Two days," said David and Allan at the same time. Allan growled and found himself something to do. "Three days maximum. They do not like lingering at one place for too long as they are an organisation which does not 'exist'. We will wait and conserve energy until then."

"Right. Like hunting a rare. Just stay really still until it finally comes out."

"Except we are - more specifically, I am the one being hunted. But yes."

There was no proper hiding place to be found where they were, just east of the Ivory Peaks. They could only hope that they could stay undiscovered here, half a day's walk into a dense forest. This was not the sort of terrain David knew how to cope with but Rush and Allan clearly had the survival techniques required. They picked a spot, gathered vegetation to make beds and Allan even sourced some food and water.

That night, Rush set down his jar of rockgrater scales in the middle of their camp. It glowed with a mesmerising light that constantly changed colour. It was a trick all monster hunters and travelling merchants knew, he said. "Most monsters are scared of this light. Helps keep you safe when you don't want to be fighting."

David nodded sagely and filed that information away, hopefully not for future use as he did not wish to be put under such circumstances ever again.

It was by the light of the rockgrater scales that David sat and wrote down his plans.

There were always plans. When one's responsibility was a country, plans were necessary. If Lord Rolan Nassau died, David Nassau would take his place. If David could not, then they had to consider David's only aunt.

David thought about the little girl who liked to run after him with a wooden sword. Aunt Beatrice, who grandfather had had with his second wife when he was fifty. Bea was a tough girl, but David's learning of how to run a country began the moment he was born and yet he still did not feel ready, so how would a twelve-years-old girl survive?

David started to write. Should both he and his father be dead, Pagus was to have stewardship of Athlum, with Torgal as his right hand, until Beatrice Nassau was twenty-years-old. On a separate piece of paper, he wrote a personal letter to his young aunt, asked for her forgiveness for his absence, explained his decisions and wished her well.

He was melting a stick of wax with a small flame when a shadow fell over. Allan crouched down beside him, making it no secret that he was reading what David had just written.

"So you're the brat from Athlum," Allan muttered as David pressed his seal on the official stationery.

"I thought you knew," said David.

"I couldn't imagine Torgal letting you this far out of his sight."

Despite the situation, the comment made David chuckle. "My father wanted to test me and show me off to the other lords by making me visit each of them by myself." He put the document and letter in envelopes, sealed them and gave them to Allan. "Allan, if death finds me, please give these to Torgal or any of the Generals of Athlum."

Allan eyed the envelopes. "You want to trust me with that?"

"I considered making a second copy and carrying it on my person, but I do not expect my body to be returned to Athlum should I be killed." The look on Allan's face darkened, but it was the truth. David's head would probably end up on display somewhere in Nagapur, for one. "And it would only cause danger to my aunt before anyone even know to be prepared for it." He looked at Allan in the eyes. "Torgal trusts you, so I shall do the same."

Taken aback by the response, Allan paused before taking the envelopes. "Would anyone even believe me if I said you wrote this?"

"They will believe the founder of the Steel Syndicate."

After staring at David for a while, Allan got up, wordless, to return to where he was sitting before.

"Thank you, Allan. And my apologies for burdening you with this."

"You're the one with the real burden, kid."

"I would prefer if you called me by my name."

"I'll call you whatever I want. Anyone younger than my son is a kid." David's brows rose at the fact that Allan had revealed something about his life, but the man just carried on speaking. "Will you go get some sleep or do you need a helpful punch in your solar plexus?"

Not wanting to listen to any more empty threats, David went to his spot and lay down, envious of Rush's deep sleep until exhaustion made itself known the moment he was on the bed of vegetation, and he was out before he could even ask himself how he had managed to function all day.

Three days passed this way, with Rush venturing out on the third day to go to the village and hear people at the pub talk about seeing a group of suspicious characters. After his return to the camp, they decided to wait longer.

On the fourth day, Allan had a hunch and made Rush climb up a tree, from where he spotted a large group of black-clad men making their way through the forest. They destroyed their camp and ran.

They went into the village that night based on the assumption that the Third Committee had searched it to their hearts' content and would not return. The only inn in the village had only one family room left. Weary from the last few days, they took it anyway and Allan was out like a light within minutes, leaving David and Rush to share the double bed. It wasn't much of a surprise; they both imagined Allan would rather be dead than to share a bed with a mitra.

When David felt Rush turn towards him in the night and an arm draping over him, he gently pushed him away without causing a fuss.

The quality of a journey depended on one's travelling companions. David thought, despite everything, his journey was brilliant so far.


	4. Chapter 4

In the morning, Rush woke up and realised he was cuddling Dave, practically spooning him from behind. Gingerly he backed away from that position, cursing himself in his head. Luckily Dave hardly stirred and Allan wasn't in the room.

Thinking about it, they really should have taken turns to keep watch at night since there was no guarantee that the Third Committee wouldn't return, but after a week of running, hiding and sleeping rough, the sight of a real bed must have made them throw caution out the window. Anyway, they were all still alive, so perhaps they were safe for now.

Rush got up but saw no reason to wake Dave, so he did his own thing, took the first bath in ages and used the laundry service. Allan left a note saying he had gone to replenish supplies and Rush must not let Dave out of his sight or he would know the feeling of having his neck wrung. Checking his things, Rush realised that Allan must have taken money from him to buy supplies with, but for the first time in ages he didn't care about money.

When he learned that the whole village only had one telephone and it was broken, he decided to write a letter and send the money home. Most of what Dave had given him was still here and he had no use for this much cash. Perhaps it would be enough for his family to get the building works started on the new house?

Dave woke up when Rush was writing, looking bleary from having slept too much. Rush looked up.

"You alright?"

Dave stared blankly for a while before the gears in his head clicked into motion. "Yes. I have not slept so well for a long time."

"That's good. Anyway, bathroom's that way, laundry's at the end of the corridor and you can order food downstairs if you're hungry, but tell me and I'll go with you otherwise Allan'd rip my head off."

When Dave returned from the bath, skin reddened and steam coming off his wet hair, Rush was still at his letter writing. How should he explain this huge amount of money? He didn't want to send it in small chunks because it was something his family needed right now, but if he didn't give them a good story they might think he was doing something illegal.

"Letter to home?" Dave said conversationally, sitting down on the edge of the bed and rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

Rush wondered how Dave folded his clothes so that even after being in a bag that was dragged around for days, the white shirt he wore still looked quite crisp and fresh. "Yeah, sending the money back. I won't mention you, don't worry."

"Is it safe to send it through the mail?"

Rush showed Dave a small stamp he had. It bore the sign of the Golden Chalice. "Stamp this on the envelope and the mailmen won't dream of tampering with anything."

His eyes on the stamp, Dave seemed to be having a thought, but there was something Rush needed to ask and now was the perfect time - if he could get the words out of his mouth.

"Hey... the initial offer you made me..."

"Yes?"

"Ten thousand up front, ten thousand later, yeah? You've given me seven so far..." There, he'd said it.

After a full second, Dave gasped. "I am very sorry. I did not mean to not keep the promise." He went to his bag and got the right amount of money for Rush.

"It's okay. Things got really hectic." Rush grinned, putting the three thousand gold with the rest of what he was sending home.

Dave got curious. "Are you not keeping any of it?"

"My home got burned down around a year ago and we still need to rebuild. Hermeien's fault. So trust me when I say I hate that guy."

There was a long moment of silence.

"I'm sorry, Rush."

"Don't be. It's not your fault."

"It is."

Rush looked up from his letter. "Huh?"

"A year ago was when Namul Village in Eulam burned down. I was there and I failed to prevent it."

"What?" Rush put down his pen and stood. "You... wait, you're from Celapaleis? Athlum?"

"Athlum. I could have done something." Dave clutched his right arm, squeezing hard. "Instead, nearly two hundred people lost their homes."

The temperature in Rush's voice dropped several degrees. "You're in the Athlumian army."

Dave just nodded, looking out the window as if something pained him. He turned around only when Rush walked over and put down ten thousand gold on the bed.

"I can't take this."

"Why?" Dave's brows knotted. "You - "

"It's because of guys like you that I'm still alive! That Eulam's still free! How can I take your money?"

"I watched your village burn. A whole community turned to ashes before my eyes." Cradling his forehead with a hand, Dave sighed. "And you say this?"

Rush could not believe what he was hearing. "A community," he said, sitting down on Allan's bed just two feet away, "is the people, not the buildings they occupy. And you guys evacuated us in time. Sure, things burned down and we all got miserable for a while, but none of it was Athlum's fault! And then you guys beat the crap out of the Nagapurians as well. That was awesome." Rush kicked Dave in the shin, grinning. "Really awesome."

Dave managed to smile back.

"No wonder I thought you looked familiar. I must've seen you before when you were in Eulam."

Dave tilted his head to one side. "Perhaps?"

"I'm sure. Can't forget a face like yours."

Oh God. He did not just say that. He'd just made a pass at Dave and it was crap and now Dave was staring at him like he was a moron. Scratch that, not "like", he _was_ a moron.

"Anyway, keep your money. You helped us. I'll help you."

"No. Take it. We agreed on this beforehand."

"If I knew you are from the Athlumian army I'd never have agreed to take money in the first place."

"The army does its duty and I am merely a part of a much greater group. In contrast, you are one person helping me against Hermeien's private army. The two cannot be compared."

"But - "

Dave narrowed his eyes. "Take it, Rush, and send it home."

Dave's voice had a finality to it and feeling those eyes bore into him, Rush found himself nodding, obedient like a soldier following a command.

Wow. That was pretty... what? Cool? Awesome?

The right description popped into Rush's head. Hot. That face, that voice just now was hot. That charisma actually sent a shiver down his spine.

Rush took the money and escaped back to his letter writing just in case he started to blush. "Do you think it'd be okay for me to say I found things to do in Athlum and they paid me in advance?"

"That should be fine. If questions are asked, you can be giving the army advice on how to deal with monsters."

Rush eyed his companion. "You're a pretty important guy." Important enough for Hermeien to want him dead and to pull strings in the army. Rush meant to comment on Dave's achievement at their sort of age, but it turned out sounding like he was probing and Dave's smile turned uneasy. Rush looked away and busied himself with the writing again. It wasn't as if not knowing who Dave really was didn't bother him, but when Dave looked at him like that he just didn't have the heart to push for an answer. Dave was a good guy. If Rush needed to know Dave would definitely tell him. Besides, it was the person who mattered, not his title or social standing, right?

"Rush, if I were to write a letter, would it be possible for me to borrow your Golden Chalice stamp?"

"Sure, help yourself."

He didn't see what Dave wrote, but it was addressed to someone called Miss Emmy Honeywell at a posh-sounding address. "Girlfriend?"

The suggestion made Dave chuckle in amusement. "If Emma and Torgal call home, Emmy can tell them where I am, or at least where I was. If we are to leave this village I am fairly sure of the direction we will travel in, and they will be able to work that out also." Dave stamped Rush's seal on the envelope and they went downstairs to post their letters and get something to eat.

There were free visistones in the pub, with recorded news bulletins from Ghor and Elysion. It seemed like Ghor was having no problems keeping the Nagapurians out, but the report was several days old and there was no way to tell how much of it was the truth.

"I wonder what all the other countries are doing." Rush closed the device.

"I wonder," Dave echoed, his elbows on the table, fingers laced, eyes peering from above them. "I would like to know as well."

"Something should've been done about Hermeien ages ago."

"It is everyone's wish to avoid all-out war. Every means to stop him is being tried; war is the last option."

"Really? I reckon all the other countries just got their fingers in their ears and are going la-la-la. Not that I keep up with politics, but who else are like Celapaleis and Athlum who'd do something when they don't like what's going on?"

Dave shook his head slowly. "Royotia, located where it is, can only defend but not attack; they cannot march an army through Lavafender and across the Great Sand Sea. Balterossa is economically weak and its army far too small. Undelwalt is the same, only worse. Elysion, still scarred from the Holy War, clings to its defence bases at Koenigsdorf and will not venture away from them." As Rush's eyes widened at the explanation, Dave continued. "Now imagine if Athlum and Celapaleis's armies were to march to Nagapur. With such distance to cover, an ambush would be impossible and Nagapur's forces would meet them in the centre of the continent. The battle would drag out, making taking Hermeien and minimising unnecessary sacrifices impossible. By water Celapaleis is not far from Nagapur and they do have the best naval forces in the world, but the waters become too shallow towards Nagapur, which is unsuitable for war ships. Without the right fire power to protect them from behind, the landing would become a massacre."

The way Dave talked was as if this was only scratching the surface of what he knew. Even though he looked so young, he was definitely someone important in the army. No wonder Hermeien wanted him dead. "So basically there's no way to fight Nagapur?"

"Of course there is; what is a disadvantage can be turned into an advantage with the right execution. But it takes meticulous planning. Hermeien realises this. I believe this is why he attacks Ghor now - to start taking down his enemies before the threat becomes too great... ah, my apologies, this is very boring."

"No, I just didn't expect a detailed explanation like that." It was an eye-opener to someone like Rush. "You know a lot of stuff."

"It's nothing anyone with an interest in politics and geography cannot tell you. But let's not talk about wars and battles for now. It ruins the appetite..." Dave sat back when their food was served, the corners of his lips tugging up in amusement when Rush's stomach growled at the sight and smell of steaming hot food. "...or not."

Rush had no plans to apologise for the behaviour of his stomach. They tucked in right away and chatted about Allan. Dave had the same opinion that Allan was far more talk than bite, but apparently Allan had similar fighting style and skills to Torgal and that meant one of him could take the place of four unions of soldiers. They had already finished eating when they saw Allan coming into the pub.

"Where've you been?" asked Rush when Allan came over but didn't sit down.

"Unlike mitra kids who sleep all day, I had things to do."

Dave lowered his knife and fork. "Is everything all right? You don't look so well."

The comment made Rush look again. He couldn't tell. It wasn't as if he could see if Allan was pale in the face or anything like that, he just looked aggravated, but he had looked that way ever since Rush met him.

At Dave's question, Allan only scowled. He tossed the bag he was carrying onto the table. It landed with a heavy, dull thud, some of its contents escaping when it tipped to one side. Food, mostly. A particular item, though, caught Rush's attention. "Hey," he pulled the block out, sniffing it, "good idea!"

"What is that?"

Rush held it out for Dave to smell. "Henna."

"What is it for?"

"Your hair."

Some time later, Dave was kneeling in front of a bathtub and Rush standing behind him, preparing the henna. Upon Rush's recommendation Dave had removed his nice, white shirt and now Rush couldn't stop staring. He knew Dave was good looking but damn, a few days ago, with all the running around and making sure they stayed alive, he hadn't really noticed just how hot Dave really was, but now that he had he could not un-notice it. And now he was getting to play with Dave's hair, too.

There was something on Dave's right arm. Something artistic-looking, like a thick black ribbon winding up his arm, from wrist to elbow, criss-crossing over itself again and again. Rush hadn't pegged Dave as a tattoo person, but what did he know? He crouched down, still stirring the pot of henna. Upon closer inspection, the "ribbon" had intricate details and almost looked like it had texture, as if it was made of tiny, tiny scales.

"Wow, that's really amazing."

Dave's gaze followed Rush, falling on his arm.

"I wanted to get a tattoo, once. My parents found out and vetoed it. I'm glad they did, really, because I'd probably have chosen something horrible and be stuck with it," said Rush. "How long did it take you to get that done? Did it hurt a lot?"

"Six years. It rated very high on my pain scale." With a smile that looked caught between amusement and melancholy, Dave lifted his eyes to look at Rush. "And it's not a tattoo."

"Then what is it?" Some kind of Athlumian body art?

"I will tell you some other time." When Rush frowned, Dave repeated, "I will tell you."

Whatever. Just another Dave mystery to add to the list, which was getting quite long already. One day Rush would crack this nut, but today was not the day.

Rush nudged Dave to bend forward a bit before applying the henna. He was going to miss the blond hair but it really was far too eye-catching. They could find an alchemist to take the dye out later on, maybe. Doing Dave's hair was easier than doing Irina's. Dave's hair was much shorter and he wasn't constantly complaining about being uncomfortable.

"Hey, if you're not comfortable or I'm getting it in your eyes then say something okay?"

"I will."

"You're suddenly all quiet, I thought you're being too polite to say anything. My sister always whines when I do her hair even though she's the one who asks me to help her every time."

"I see," said Dave.

Rush put the pot of henna down and put both hands in Dave's hair. "Just making sure I've got all your roots," he explained. "You're doing that distant, polite thing. What're you thinking?"

"Nothing particularly important."

"Come on. We're two blokes in a bathroom together and I've got my hands in your hair. If we don't talk it's really awkward," Rush said, despite thinking he didn't mind this one bit. But at least his words made Dave laugh.

"Kneeling like this," Dave said, his head still bent forward, his neck exposed, "I feel like I am about to be beheaded."

Oh, damn this. Here Rush was, feeling a bit of a buzz because he got to do this, and Dave was thinking about dying. Dying, when he had Rush and Allan helping him!

He smacked Dave on the head. "If you think you're going to die then what's the point of me being here?"

Dave tried to turn his head but could not manage much of an angle before his hair threatened his eyes. "I do not think I am going to die." He looked down again. "My mind just wandered for a moment."

"Then don't let it wander." Rush knocked on Dave's head. "Eulam calling Athlum, anyone home?"

"Has anyone ever told you you are quite peculiar?" There was a hint of a smile in Dave's voice.

"Not with those exact words." Rush swept the hair away from Dave's eyes, rinsed his hands and then draped a dark towel over Dave's shoulders. "Done."

Allan was in their room when they returned, his back to the door, looking out the window. Only his ears moved when they entered.

"I sent a letter to Emma's daughter under the seal of the Golden Chalice," said Dave.

Allan didn't turn around. "Same letter as the one you got me to keep?"

"No. I am not dead and that document would only destroy morale unnecessarily."

"Hn. You still want me to carry it, then."

"Yes, please."

Rush had no idea what they were talking about and he was probably not supposed to. He went to his bag and pretended to be busy looking for something rather than sulking.

"Well, what do you want to do then?" Allan finally looked at Dave, his arms crossed. "Move closer to Athlum? Stay here and wait for help? If Torgal hasn't gone senile he will find the trail I've left him. If Athlum's made him stupid then your letter will still lead him here."

"I would like to hear your advice first."

"This is none of my business," Allan spat, bearing sovani fangs, "decide your own way forward."

At this point Rush couldn't help speaking up. "What the hell's wrong with you? Dave wants to hear what you think coz he respects your opinion!"

"What I think," Allan replied, "is of no concern to you."

"What the - "

Rush stopped speaking when Dave held up a palm, gesturing for quiet. After staring at each other for a minute, Allan's eyes full of anger and Dave's somewhat impassive, Dave nodded. "You are right. I need to make my own decisions."

But that wasn't what this was about, Rush thought. What was wrong with getting advice? But before he could even start to talk, Dave was speaking to him.

"I think some of the henna is getting inside my ear. Could you have a look for me?"

Rush followed Dave back to the bathroom down the corridor.

"What's going on?" Rush sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

Dave looked at himself in the mirror. "Something must have happened this morning when Allan was out alone. I don't think his aggravation is truly directed at me. Also, he seems upset."

"Upset?"

"Torgal is a sovani and I have known him since I was born, so I am better at reading sovanis' expressions than the average person."

"So there's something he isn't telling us."

"Perhaps. There is a lot we can glean just from his few words: he doesn't want to affect my decision-making in any way, but he didn't say he was going to leave."

Rush thought out loud. "He's still going to protect you. So where he goes depends entirely on you."

Dave nodded, meeting eyes with Rush through the mirror. "To stay or to continue, one has to be safer or better in some way than the other. By forfeiting the chance to influence me, he may end up being in more danger than necessary. I can only think of one reason why he would do this."

It didn't seem like Allan had a death wish. "He doesn't want to choose?" Rush asked, and saw agreement on Dave's face. "Because what's good for you won't be good for him?"

Whatever had happened to Allan this morning, it made him not trust himself to guide Dave any more because if given the chance, he would make a choice that would be better for himself but bring harm to Dave - that was a possibility, but were they analysing this too far? Allan could just be being a bastard for the sake of it. Rush wouldn't put it past him.

"He has been leaving a trail for Torgal and Emma to follow. Thinking back, he did seem to have carved something in rock and wood several times. I am embarrassed to say that I have not paid enough attention."

"Neither have I." Rush stood. "You want to wait for them?"

"I first need to find out what is affecting Allan's decision. I have only known him for as long as you have but I dare say it is not death that is threatening him. He is a righteous, proud fighter and he knew of the danger ever since he agreed to help me."

"But then..." What could be worse than being killed?

"I can think of several things, but none can be proven without his input."

"What things?"

Dave didn't reply.

Great. Rush thought they were trying to figure Allan out together but Dave was being Dave again. Sometimes it almost seemed like he was trying to open up and treat Rush like a trusted friend, but when Rush put his hand out he slammed shut again, snapping Rush's fingers. How nice.

"Tell me what we're going to do when you're done thinking, since apparently I'm going where you're going as well," Rush couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice, but he was pissed off and he had never been good at hiding how he felt; he wasn't like Dave. "You should rinse your hair. Make sure you get the back of the neck and behind your ears, okay?"

"Thank you, Rush. And sorry."


	5. Chapter 5

David imagined this would be what the Generals would say to him: a week or two spent together does not true friends make. This isn't worth worrying about, Lord David.

He had decided they would stay in this village to wait for Emma and Torgal, and Allan had kept his words to himself ever since. Rush seemed happy enough with the decision but David knew the way he had been treating Rush, his varying attitude and unwillingness to impart much about himself were causes of frustration. Rush was an open, honest person, whereas David grew up as an only child who was taught to keep what he thought to himself. It was a skill essential in the castle but not right here, in front of someone willing to protect him with his life merely because he was in the Athlumian army. Someone David had come to respect and care about.

On several occasions, the words were there on the edge of David's lips - "Lord Rolan Nassau of Athlum is my father" - but he never managed to say them. And each time he suddenly stopped talking, Rush looked a little more disappointed. David could only apologise again and again. He couldn't say why he felt afraid of telling Rush the truth. When he was younger he had gone to a normal school like everyone else, and in recent years he joined the army and lived with the soldiers during campaigns. All those people had learned to treat him like a normal person and he had made good friends. He even dated two of them. Maybe it was because those people all knew who he was since the beginning but Rush didn't that made all the difference.

But Rush would find out sooner or later, when Emma and Torgal arrived. It might be better to tell him before that.

They had been in this village for half a week. The news was that all the international railways were disrupted, the major roads patrolled. Even if Emma and Torgal knew where he was - David was quite sure they did - it would be difficult for them to travel unnoticed. The mining tunnel where they had killed the rockgraters must be closed by the Third Committee by now, and any of the roads that group thought David had used would be scrutinised for clues of his route of travel. Even if Allan's trail of markings for Torgal was discreet enough, Torgal would still need to find a safe route to get to this village.

And for each day they waited, it was another day of not knowing how David's father was. David couldn't imagine losing him. The hurt of losing his mother many years ago was still fresh, and the sickness made her suffer so much before she found release. How about his father? Was the poison causing him pain? Was he wondering why his son was not there at his bedside?

David did not move when he felt Rush, lying next to him, turn and hug him from behind. He could put his mind to something else. Rush's warmth. Allan's breathing. The smell of henna that still lingered in his hair. The soft creak of wood when other people in the building walked around. The sound of beating wings from a bird leaving the tree just outside the window.

The faint rustle of Allan getting out of bed, changing clothes, arming himself and leaving the room.

The moment the door clicked close, David felt Rush pull away from him, getting out of bed as well.

"Rush," said David, aware of how loud his voice was in such a quiet night, "trust him."

For a moment there was complete silence; even the leaves seemed to have stopped rustling outside.

So they had both been awake all along.

The mattress dipped; Rush had sat down. David fought back the urge to pull the blanket around himself better. The night suddenly felt cold.

"Is this really okay?"

"He has had many chances to kill me if that is what he wishes to do," David said in the darkness so deep that he could barely see the outline of his own hand.

Rush did not reply, silently acknowledging that David's argument was valid. He slipped back into bed, his back to David's, leaving enough room between them so that they would not touch. What could he be thinking? David wasn't even sure what he was thinking himself.

His sleep was fitful and entirely restless. Awake, he worried about how Rush thought of him now. Asleep, he dreamt of his father's and Allan's deaths, both painful and violent. If Rush noticed this, he did nothing. Whether he spent his night wakeful or not, he stayed away from David so that even the loose fabric of their pyjamas did not touch.

Allan returned before daylight next morning, looking slightly worse for wear due to lack of sleep. Rush and David were not much better, but at least they didn't fall asleep sitting in bed reading. As Rush gaped, David went over and picked up the day-old newspaper that fell from Allan's hand.

"Let him rest," David said quietly, sat down and checked the headlines. It wasn't much different from what was being reported on the radio. Ghor was holding Nagapur back. Nothing new on Lord Qubine's condition. Nothing on Athlum at all. "He has been going out every night since we arrived to ensure our safety and that of this village. But even sovanis have their limits."

"And you didn't tell me? No wonder he's been even more twitchy and snappy than usual."

"I was trying to pretend I did not know about it; spreading the information would have been counter-productive." David put the paper away.

"He could've just told us though. We've taken turns to keep watch at night before, I wouldn't mind doing it again."

"He wanted to let us rest on the first night here. After that, his behaviour changed," David muttered under his breath. Maybe Allan had encountered the enemy during the night, but for some reason, the enemy chose not to attack and Allan didn't want David or Rush to know. But why would that be?

The answer was obvious.

"I think the deadline is drawing close."

"What deadline?" Sitting cross-legged on the floor, Rush looked up and stopped checking his swords for a moment. When David pressed his lips tight together in thought, though, he resumed his work. "Whatever. Forget I asked."

David looked for his words. He had to make Rush understand his standpoint, somehow.

"Several days ago we had a conversation that never finished. In fact we have had many of them since the day we met. I want you to know that it is the result of my upbringing and my own shortcomings, not because I mistrust you. If you switched places with Allan, I would have asked him to trust you as well."

No response came from Rush.

David thought about the two people he had gone out with in the past, how they both left him because he was too much what he was - as if they expected that because they could see him just as a person and not a figure or symbol, then he should be able to unlearn the things drilled into him and change his habits at will. Even now, he was struggling to find the words to explain why he would not say what Allan might be being affected by. There were so many things that could be worse than death: letting down those whose lives depended on him; missing the only chance in his life to right a wrong; having others sacrifice their lives for his sake; watching destruction take place because he failed to act; the suffering of loved ones, not being there when they needed him - all of these were far worse than death, and some too close to his heart to even utter right now. He was a leader. He had trained himself to never show weakness.

"As for that deadline... it is most likely be a deadline to take my life, or to hand me over."

Rush got up and walked over to David. "You can't assume he's being blackmailed just because he's been acting strange."

"It is only a possibility, but my gut feeling is that it is the truth." David's voice trembled. He hoped it wasn't detectable. "Allan will not harm me. I fear what or who will be sacrificed in my place."

"Dave..." Rush sat down beside David. "We can make him tell us what's going on. Shake it out of him somehow."

David shook his head. "You underestimate the sovani pride. And Allan has apparently held a grudge against Torgal for at least eighty years, yet he is still willing to do this for Torgal at a moment's notice. He would rather die than to let us know what is happening, let alone allow us to help." He took a quick glance to check that Allan was still deeply asleep. "I don't think Torgal is going to arrive in time to help us all."

It didn't seem like a point Rush wanted to argue; he had confessed to not understanding sovanis before. "Then... what're you gonna do?"

"I have a plan which I'd like your opin - "

They both jumped when someone knocked on the door. Gesturing for David to stay where he was, Rush took a small dagger, hid it up his sleeve and then answered the door. It was the innkeeper, who said the only room with three beds was finally free and they could move there if they liked, then the young gentlemen wouldn't need to share a bed.

"Oh," propping the door open with his feet, Rush scratched his head with the hand that wasn't holding the dagger, "that - "

"It won't be necessary," David cut in, "we will be leaving quite soon, so it's not worth the hassle. But thank you."

The innkeeper left. Rush closed the door, then stared at David, mouth agape in mild surprise.

David met that gaze squarely until a soft sigh from Allan, sinking into the bed in his sleep, made them both look at him and smile. When he glanced at Rush again, Rush's face was slightly flushed, and David felt his own cheeks heating up as well, not out of embarrassment, but anticipation.

That night, David lay in bed and listened to Allan get up again, but this time the faint clank of metal, of swords inside their sheaths, told him Allan had come to stand by his bed for a moment before leaving the room.

Rush turned around and draped an arm over him when the door closed. David didn't flinch when the hand snaked under his clothes to rest on his abdomen. Warm breath brushed against the nape of his neck. Even in the quiet night, Rush's voice was only just audible.

"Are you sure?"

David wondered what Rush was asking about: this, or what they were going to do tomorrow. But he had the same answer for both questions. "Yes."

Rush flicked open the buttons on David's pyjamas, pulling it off as his lips kissed David's neck, moving down inch-by-inch, following the line of David's spine, making him shiver. Craving the feel of skin against skin, David reached back blindly, grabbing and pulling on the t-shirt Rush was wearing. Rush took it off, wormed his way back up and bent over David a little so that he could kiss David's throat, his collarbone, his jawline.

David wondered if he would be kissed on the mouth, but it didn't happen. That was right, this was just something they both needed, to help release the stress and tension built up over the past week. It didn't mean anything. This wasn't about affection or a lack of morals, just seeking comfort, like how Rush needed to hold someone and David allowed himself to be held. Still, the thought of doing something like this with somebody he had known for less than ten days shocked David himself, so he stopped himself from thinking about it and concentrated on the physical pleasure instead.

When Rush pushed the rest of what David was wearing out of the way, David helped him, then gasped when a warm hand wrap around his flesh. He was completely hard, had been since they turned off the light to sleep. He couldn't tell how the waiting was for Rush, but right now there was unmistakable hardness pressed against him as Rush's hand worked him. Breathing heavily, his body weak against the ministrations, there was little David could do in this position but let Rush have control. He didn't really care as long as he could feel Rush's warm body against his own.

After a few moments, he put his hand on top of Rush's, stilling his movements. Then, still not looking back, he tugged on Rush's trousers, doing it more insistently when Rush did not move, refusing to be the only one pleasured. He wanted Rush. He had not done this before, he wasn't ready, he didn't know what Rush might do, but he wanted him.

It didn't take long for Rush to give in, swiftly removing what remained of his clothing. With nothing between them for the first time, they groaned at the heat, at the way their skin seemed to burn when pressed together. Rush's hips began to push against David's buttocks, and his hand returned to where it was before. Then he rolled further towards David, almost on top of him, pressing him into the bed as he continued to thrust, rubbing hard but not pushing inside.

Only when they had both reached their release did Rush's mouth leave David's skin. If kisses could bruise, there would not be an inch of David's neck that would not be hurting now. But there was no pain, only exhilaration, and when David dared to turn his head a little and Rush leaned over and kissed him on the mouth, there was complete intoxication.

What they did was hard, fast, but also gentle. Rush was careful and there was nothing perfunctory in the way he kissed. Could he tell that David was inexperienced? It was David who made the invitation and Rush could have done so much more, yet he did not, as if this wasn't the way he wanted it to happen and he didn't want to take advantage of the situation.

No, he was imagining things, David thought. He thought highly of Rush, but Rush was still a man.

But what did it mean then, the way Rush settled down but still kept kissing any bit of David his mouth could reach without having to move too much, and the way David tangled their legs together and put an arm around that warm body, happy for them to fall asleep together like this?

They both slept through the night, waking to wash and get ready before Allan returned. They didn't talk about last night. David wasn't sure if they should and in any case, this was not the time.

When Allan came back to the room, he was greeted with the sight of David and Rush's packed bags. Positioning himself in front of David, Rush drew his sword. Allan did not say anything at first, just silently surveying the situation, shutting the door behind him.

"I thought I could trust you," said David, picking up their bags. Rush's sword pointed at Allan. "Unfortunately I was wrong, traitor."

For someone as short-tempered as Allan, he was surprisingly calm. "Hn."

"You may be an excellent fighter, but I am ready to fight you to the death," David's hand touched the hilt of his sword briefly. "For Torgal, I don't wish to cross swords with you. Rush and I will now leave. If I find you even attempt to follow, then Torgal's friend or not, I will take your life."

Allan moved away from the door as David and Rush inched towards it. Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, Allan pulled out two envelopes. He tossed them at Rush.

"Take these."

Holding the sword, Rush kept his eyes trained on Allan. David bent down and picked up the letters, putting them in his bag.

"I hope we never meet again."

David backed out of the room, followed by Rush, who sheathed his sword almost as soon as the door closed. They left the inn, went around to the back of the building and re-entered through the back door, left their bags with the reception saying they were leaving and would pick up the bags later on in the day.

"He didn't even try to explain himself! I thought he'd explode when you said 'traitor'."

"He is protecting us by letting us make accusations."

The two of them sat down at the pub, choosing seats that let them see the stairs leading up to the rooms but would let them remain unseen by anyone not deliberately looking for them.

"What are those letters?"

"Things I asked him to take home for me if something happens to me." Whatever Allan planned to do next, he didn't think he would come out of it alive, otherwise he would have kept the letters.

"Right." Rush obviously didn't like the answer he got. He had made it clear before that he disapproved of David's thinking about death. "Mind if I ask another question?"

"Of course not."

"What do we do after we followed him and found out what's really going on?"

"As long as he and anyone else believe I have slipped from their grasp, even if we are outnumbered we will still be able to take the upper hand. In the worst case we will at least help Allan out of any danger and run for it."

"Sorry but in the worst case I'm gonna make you run and drag you if I have to. I happen to think your life must be pretty important even though I don't know who you really are. That guy's doing all this to make sure you're away from danger, remember?"

"I know." David looked down at his hands. Now, sitting here waiting for Allan to make his move, was not the time to tell Rush the truth. "Let us decide when we find out."

They didn't have to wait long before Allan came down the stairs and headed straight out. David and Rush followed, unsure whether they really could do this without being detected and only counting on Allan being distracted enough to not realise. But that turned out not to matter because Allan stopped abruptly almost as soon as he was outside the village.

On a grassy field that stretched on for miles, two men were waiting. Behind them were monsters, all of them waiting like soldiers. It was impossible to count the numbers but it was a force of at least a hundred.

"So you've come empty-handed." The leader figure said. "I was hoping to see you carrying the head of a certain person."

Allan said nothing.

"We like to do things quietly and discreetly, but you leave us with little choice." The leader glanced back at the monsters behind him. "Fortunately I saw this coming and am prepared for it. Go."

Allan drew his swords as the monsters moved, the huge group parting around their leader and Allan like water around stone, then rejoining as they headed towards the village. Only several flying fiends stayed behind with the men. "What is the purpose of this?"

"I presume he is still in the village. This time we will search more... thoroughly. Oh, I almost forgot." The leader made a gesture, and the other man threw something at Allan. It landed in front of his feet, becoming partially hidden in the grass. "Torgal sends you his love."

A sovani ear.

David's vision blurred, clouded with rage that would make him explode if he didn't do something right now. As Allan screamed and threw himself at the two men, David and Rush also ran out from their hiding place to join the battle, David out for blood and Rush to try to hold back the fiends moving towards the village, however much a lost cause it might be.

David joined Allan's side, the pair falling into the rhythm they had established when they fought the rockgraters. Two on two.

"What do you think you're doing?" Allan sneered, blocking a blow to the head with one sword and stabbing the other clean through his opponent - the leader, who staggered backwards but still stood.

"I don't think now is the time to explain," replied David, his sword drawn, facing the second man. This one's stance was not nearly as confident as his leader. Probably the beastmaster. Easily dodging a stab from the trident that man wielded, David put his sword into him, slicing him open from stomach to shoulder.

"This is nothing to do with you, _Dave_. Get the hell out of here; I don't need your help!"

This was the first time Allan addressed him by name. But "Dave"?

Then David realised what Allan meant: their opponent had no idea who he was. They were after a young mitra called David with blond hair and dark skin and probably had pictures from newspapers to go by, but right now he was wearing the clothes he bought at Ghor, his arms covered, his face mostly obscured by the hood and what could be seen of his hair was sandy brown.

"Leave!"

"Run, Dave!" yelled Rush behind them.

The group of monsters heading to the village was getting closer and closer. There was no way Rush could hold them back alone. Even between the three of them there was little they could do.

They were too close. It was too late to evacuate the village.

David could reveal his identity and prevent the massacre.

"Get away from this place! You're needed elsewhere!" Another clash of the swords, sparks flying when steel met steel. Despite his injury, the leader fought on. Flying fiends were coming down from the sky to attack Allan but he paid them no attention. He was determined to take down the opponent in front of him first. "Goddammit! What's the point of me doing this if you're killed?"

A hraesvelg dived down, sharp talons leaving deep, bloody gorges in Allan's arm.

"Allan!"

Allan simply used a different hand to hold the sword. "It's just a scratch, I'm not going to perish from it. Now run!"

"Dave, listen to him!" Sounds of explosions were coming from a distance. Rush had started to use pocket-sized stun bombs. He was being overwhelmed by the sheer number of monsters, yet he refused to ask for help. "Run!"

Allan was right - Athlum needed David. His father needed him. If he let himself be killed or captured here, the whole of the west continent could be in danger. In contrast, the village had a population of maybe less than one hundred.

But must he choose? Could lives really be valued by numbers? Could he not, just for once, win it all?

He could.

With a final swing of his swords, Allan sliced his opponent into three, taking away David's option to hand himself over. There were only monsters left now, and despite their masters being dead, they were still carrying on with the instruction they had been given. Allan picked up the ear that was thrown at him earlier, then went over to help Rush.

"Rush! Allan! Gather the fiends together - I have a plan!" David sheathed his sword so that he could run faster. His companions were less than fifty yards away from him, and another two hundred yards away from the village entrance. Without a weapon, he had to duck and dodge several times, but luckily monsters were mostly one-track-minded and very few of them noticed him coming from behind.

"This," Allan growled, cutting down a quien, then wiped away the blood sprayed into his eyes, "better be good! What's your plan?"

Between them, Allan and Rush had taken down more than twenty monsters, mostly larger ones that did not move fast. With his stun bombs Rush started herding the rest together whilst Allan cut down the stray ones. David stood behind this front line of two, his sword still sheathed, open to attack.

"I need one minute to prepare - no, thirty seconds!"

"Don't stand there!" Rush forced back the flood of monsters with another mini explosion of smoke. "Dave! Are you mad?"

David was not listening. Years of training, countless days spent in solidarity, and this was what it came to. The black markings on his right arm began to burn, as if trying to tear themselves from his skin. The Remnant Art Gae Bolg, the mark of Athlum's ruler, a weapon and a curse.

Had he trained harder and mastered it before his deployment to Eulam, he could have saved Rush's home. Now he no longer needed to regret.

Heat distorted his vision. The wind roared, the elements reacting to the mystic energy gathering on David's arm. Gradually all the monsters stood still, as if sensing the change.

"Allan! Rush! Get behind me now!"

David's voice left no room for questions. The two abandoned what they were doing. When they got behind David, Rush finally saw what was happening, although he could not comprehend it. "What're you - what the - "

"Good God. That's the..." said Allan under his breath, "...that's the fucking Gae Bolg!"

"What - "

David did not look back. "I leave the rest to you two."

The world became bright white.


	6. Chapter 6

Allan, with much reluctance and even more verbal cursing, let the local doctor stitch up his arm, a tricky job he couldn't do himself because the cuts were too deep and too close together. After seeing his and Rush's licences from the Golden Chalice and the carnage they left behind, the villagers believed that these men had saved their homes from infestation by monsters. They piled up the carcasses and burnt them, an old method of using smells to warn off other monsters in the area, although the dead bodies had already been burnt to a crisp by the Gae Bolg. Everything that white light touched - the monsters, the field, the trees - had died.

The Gae Bolg. The last Remnant Art that still remained in the world rather than lost, its secrets known only to the generations of rulers of Athlum.

Rush looked at the bed. The man who he did _that_ with last night, the man whose arm was completely blackened like a burnt log, the man who now lay unconscious, was the next ruler of Athlum. His name was David Nassau, not Dave. He was the one who led the latest operation to protect Eulam from Nagapur.

Well, fuck.

_Fuck._

Torgal, a dark grey sovani man and Emma, a handsome mitra woman with a scar across her face, arrived at their rented room that evening, shortly after Allan muttered, "he's here," his ears turning outwards, as if he had picked up a familiar pattern of foot falls.

The two Generals were both dressed plainly, but something about them still gave off a feeling that they were of a different ilk from ordinary folk, and it wasn't just because one rarely saw sovanis and mitras travelling together. Torgal wore a single long earring that seemed more ornamental, for the lack of a better word, than it was fashion, and it was the only thing that moved when he paused at the door and surveyed the situation. Odd, it didn't seem like Torgal had been harmed in any way. Both of his ears were perfectly intact as far as Rush could see.

Standing by the window, Allan did not look at anyone and said nothing. Emma immediately went to David's bedside and knelt down.

"So it was the Gae Bolg," she said, exchanging a look with Torgal, who went to stand in the middle of the room and stared at Allan for a while before joining Emma. Then she glared at Rush. "Tell me what happened."

So Rush did, leaving out details of Allan's blackmail, saying only that the Third Committee intended to use monsters to flush Dave - David, he corrected himself - out of the village.

"Will he be okay?" Rush asked quietly when he finished, "I didn't dare to let the doctor see him..."

"He just needs rest. His arm will recover," whispered Emma, combing David's hair with her fingers, her touch gentle like a mother's, in sharp contrast to the way she spoke to Rush. Then she looked up at Torgal, who stood over her and David. "I guess what happened in Eulam really plagued him."

"He made the right decision then and he made the right decision now. A year ago he could not have controlled it." Torgal studied David, and then Rush, for a while. It was only then that Rush realised these people probably had no idea who he was but they were letting those questions be left unanswered for now. "Allan, what happened to your arm?"

For a while it didn't seem like Allan was going to reply, but he spoke eventually, his eyes still on something outside the window. "Just a flesh wound."

"How is Imogen?"

It was then that Allan finally let his gaze settle on Torgal. "The woman you used to call _Immi_ ," he spat, word-by-word, "is dead."

Silence. Torgal's mouth fell open. Rush did his best to look like he wasn't interested in the conversation, fixing his eyes on David, just as Emma was doing.

"What happened?" finally Torgal managed to ask.

Between Torgal's question and Allan's lack of an answer, David started to come around. Nodding to Emma, Rush helped her get David to sit up and poured a glass of water. David smiled at them both.

"Emma. Torgal. You've made it."

"I am so sorry we took so long, Lord David." On one knee, Emma did a small bow.

"Torgal... you are unharmed?" David asked the question Rush had been wanting to ask.

"Of course I am, my lord."

"But I thought..." David sighed and dropped that question for now. "How is my father?"

Emma eyed Rush briefly.

"We can trust him. Speak, Emma. How is my father?"

"Still no change the last time I rang Athlum two days ago, my lord."

"And that is the truth?"

"I swear my life and that of my daughter on it." Emma held the glass for water in front of David. "The culprit has been caught and found guilty of treason. Drink and then rest, Lord David. The Gae Bolg has completely drained you. Let us worry about the rest."

His right arm out of action, David used his left instead. After a small drink he passed the glass back. "Allan."

"What?"

"Whose ear was that?"

Silence again.

David raised his voice. "Whose ear was it? Who is Torgal?"

The question and the name made the two Athlumian Generals' eyes widen in surprise.

"That is none of your business."

"Someone is hurt because of me. I consider that every bit my business! Speak, Allan! Who is he?" David's voice cracked, his throat still dry, but he refused the water Emma was offering him. Rush recognised this David. This was the one who convinced him in very few words that he must take the money and send it home to Eulam a few days ago. "You once mentioned to me that you have a child. Is Torgal his name? Have you sacrificed your own son for my sake? Did you give up on the chance to exchange my life for his?"

"He's likely already dead. Giving you to them wouldn't have changed a thing," Allan said, effectively admitting to everything David suggested.

David froze, his expression one of total devastation.

Emma grabbed Rush's sleeve, her eyes full of questions. Rush only pointed at the small covered tub on top of a chest of drawers. She took it and examined its contents: a severed sovani ear on a bed of ice.

"The edges are jagged from a struggle." She closed the lid. "When this was removed he was likely still alive."

"Then we need to save him," said Rush even before David could.

Allan took the tub from Emma. "I will take care of my own family."

"It is my fault that your family got involved. Let us handle it."

"I don't need your sympathy, Torgal."

"This is not about sympathy. What is one person's strength against Nagapur? Do you even know where he is being held?"

Allan carefully put down the container. "Why do you care?" He snarled, bearing fangs. "If you ever truly cared you wouldn't have left us in the first place!"

Dumbfounded, Torgal just stood there. Leaving David for now, Rush followed Emma out of the room. They shouldn't be there. But even from outside, he could hear the rest of what they said.

"What happened to Immi?"

"She killed herself." A pause. "She made up an excuse for me to leave the house. By the time I returned she was hanging from a beam, her wrists slit."

"Allan..."

"She never was happy with me. The one she loved was you! Do you know why my son's name is Torgal? Immi wanted to name him after you. I agreed because that's how much she loved you and how much you meant to me even though you'd abandoned us! Because that was the only thing I could do for her! If you took her I'd have been okay with it because you were both important to me and you could have made her happy. But what did you do instead? You left! Just because I loved her and you thought that was the best thing you could do for me. Have you ever considered other people's opinion before doing what you assume is the right thing?"

"I - "

"Do you know what you did was selfish? I'd rather you stayed. I'd rather be a terrible godfather to your children than to think everyday what you gave up for me and how Immi died of heartbreak!"

"I could not have made her happy. I only loved her like a sister."

"Lies!"

Torgal sighed. "She once told me that her mother killed herself soon after having her, and there might be a history of illness in her family, but she still wanted to have a child with a man she loved. And she did, with you."

"After waiting half a century for you to come back, yes she did."

"But I am sure she loved you. The depression was a sickness, not something caused by you. You made her happy. I could not have done it because she was like a sister to me."

"I saw the way you looked at her! Why can't you admit to it even after she's gone?"

"Because you are mistaken." Pause. "All I can say is that if I caused you pain, I'm sorry. But I'm sure the two of you lived lives that were better than anything I could have given."

"Eighty years and you still haven't changed! You are always using your standards to judge what's best for others! I'm not finished! Are you going to walk away again?"

The last few words were louder than the ones before, because Torgal had opened the door and left the room. He went to Emma.

"My apologies. Would you please look after Lord David for a while? I shall go and sort out something to eat for everyone."

"Of course. Take your time."

Rush felt decidedly out of place.

"Lord David". That sounded so strange, but that was who Dave really was. All the people gathered right here were people who had ties with each other, seasoned fighters who had known one another for years. But who was Rush? Just someone unrelated who happened to have got caught up in this. Sooner or later they would want to know who he was and what he was doing here and Rush would not really have an explanation.

"So." Emma was glaring at him. He cringed as she pulled out a short knife, and held up his hands when she put it to his throat because running would make him look more suspicious. "Who are you?"

Just as he thought. He just hadn't imagined she would use a pointy object. "Rush Sykes. Member of the Union of the Golden Chalice. I kinda just... bumped into Dave... I mean David... on the train to Ghor. Then he got shot at when I was around."

Emma arched an eyebrow. "Is that so?"

"He offered money for me to help him until you guys arrived. Then Allan came along. After that, Nagapur and Ghor started fighting and we all got out together," Rush said. Heck, Emma looked scary. This woman meant business. If this kept up he would end up telling her everything, including the things he and David did last night.

"Hired help," the blade on Rush's throat pressed harder, "or Nagapur's spy. Which are you?"

"Neither, Emma," came David's weak voice from the door that was still ajar. "I can tell what you are doing even though I cannot see you... put your knife away."

With a scowl, Emma slid her knife back inside the small leather sheath on her belt. Grabbing Rush by a shoulder, she spun him around and twisted his arms back, holding them with a vice grip as she marched him back inside the room and shut the door behind them with a foot.

"Rush is a trusted companion, without whom I would already be dead. Allan can attest to this. Please let him go."

She released Rush right away and even did a small bow. "My sincere apologies. You have my eternal gratitude."

Rush shook his arms out, grinning. "You're strong." Damn, that hurt.

David's attention shifted. "Allan," he said to the man who was once again looking out the window, "regardless of what took place between you and Torgal in the past, what has happened to your family is entirely my fault, not his. Please don't blame him."

"I'm not blaming anyone but Hermeien," Allan muttered, sounding tired, as if talking to Torgal just now had made him weary.

"Athlum will not leave Hermeien unchecked. At this moment I do not know what form our response would take, but please, let me help search for your son. It is because of me that this has happened. I know what it feels like to learn that your family is in danger and I despair that I am the cause of it. So please... I..." David tried to get out of bed, but Emma stopped him. Somehow he got her to help him over to Allan instead. "David Nassau begs you - "

"My lord!"

David ignored Emma. "David Nassau begs you, the man who'd put his own life and that of his child on the line... to protect the mitras who had stolen someone important from you... for a chance to put right this wrong." His voice was getting weaker and his words seemed jumbled, but David's eyes remain fixed on Allan.

Rush wanted to do something to help, but it seemed like there was nothing he could do. Emma was supporting David, and it wasn't as if there was anything Rush could say that would convince Allan better than David was already doing.

"Get back to bed, kid. You can't help me when you look like this." To Emma's surprise, Allan picked up David and dropped him on the bed rather roughly. "Mitras are so damn fragile."

Emma, appalled by the way the sovani handled and spoke to her lord, seemed to be at a loss since David just smiled and gave her a dismissive wave. Sincerity had won over an old wound and the unbreakable sovani pride.

Standing to one side, a faint smile on his lips, Rush looked on.

David hadn't talked to him at all. He wasn't Dave any more. He had all the people he needed now, and a country that needed him. Rush's role here was over.

Later on in the night, Rush checked himself into a single room. Torgal and Emma were going to take turns to watch over David tonight, however unlikely it was for the Third Committee to try to attack again. It meant Rush could have his own bed for the first time since he left Ghor.

But before he could sleep, Allan banged on his door. Rush got out of bed to unlock it, then switched on a small light.

"What do you plan to do?" Allan got straight to the point, eyeing the packed bag by the bedside table.

Rush shrugged, trying to look like he didn't care. "Go home. I was only meant to stay until help arrived."

"If this was just about the money you would have left already. Are you going to walk away now?"

"What's it to you? Isn't this 'none of your business'?" Rush asked, but Allan only glared. Rush tore his eyes away and stared at the patterned wallpaper instead. "I'm not really part of any of this, right? Dave's got all the people he needs now."

"Whether you're a part of anything or not and whether he needs you or not isn't just up to you to decide, fool. Only cowards run away like that."

"What the hell? I'm not - "

"What I'm talking about," Allan walked closer, using his height advantage to tower over Rush and emphasise his point, "is you cannot decide by yourself what is best for other people. If they want you gone then so be it, but if you walk away without listening first, then you aren't helping anyone. You'd just be satisfying your martyrdom fantasy and making yourself feel better. And that makes you nothing but a coward."

All the arguments died in Rush. He knew what this was about. There were things he wanted to say about what he heard earlier, but it really wasn't his place to speak. He had known Torgal only for a few hours and had said about five words to him so far, how could he possibly guess what might have happened and how Torgal might have felt eighty years ago?

But there was something he could say with certainty. "I won't do that to him."

"Hn," Allan snorted, turning to leave, "to think such idiots pointed swords at me this morning and I was actually fooled. Spending time with mitras has debased me."

"Thanks, Allan."

In the morning, Rush sat in his room trying to decide how exactly he was going to ask his questions. What could he say that wouldn't make it sound like he was either inviting himself to join them or wanting to go home? If they asked him why, what should he say? How could he make sure David wouldn't think Rush just wanted to sleep with him?

He didn't get enough time to think. "Rush, are you up?" came David's voice through the door, followed by two quick knocks.

"Um, yeah." Rush answered, letting David in. Torgal was there too, following his lord like a shadow. "Hey, how're you feeling?"

"Much better now. Sorry for making you worry; there was no time to explain."

"It's fine... wow."

David's eyes followed Rush's, glancing down at himself. He was wearing a sleeveless, ornate jacket with red and green silk panels in the front. Long gloves hid most of the damage the Gae Bolg did to his arm, although blackened skin could still be seen on his upper arm and his fingers, which the gloves did not cover. "Ah. Just my official attire. Torgal and Emma had contacted home once they confirmed my location, so the escort party would arrive later today." He stepped away from Torgal and leaned into Rush's space, bringing his mouth to Rush's ear although he did not actually whisper. "Far too formal and cumbersome, if you ask my opinion."

Rush laughed, whereas Torgal only looked slightly unimpressed. "Already at war with Ghor, Nagapur does not wish to make public that they are trying to weaken the other countries at the same time, which is why the Third Committee tried to take you so discreetly. An escort - "

"Announces my location to the world so that Hermeien wouldn't dare to try anything. I know, I know."

"And it'd probably piss him off royally as well," Rush said helpfully.

"Yes." David chuckled. "Anyway, we are all about to go downstairs for some breakfast, would you like to..." He tilted his head, looking past Rush's shoulder. "You've packed your things."

Was it just his wishful imagination or did David sound a bit surprised and upset? Probably just his imagination. David wouldn't slip like that. "That... well... Da- actually I don't even know how I should call you now."

David frowned. "The way you called me before is fine."

"Well, Dave," Rush glanced back at his things, one of his swords resting on top of the bag, "I was gonna go home today..."

"I see..." David only smiled. "Of course. I really should not keep you any longer. You were only going to stay until help arrived."

"Yeah." Rush dipped his head.

"I will go and get the rest of the money for you, then."

"Allan said," Rush quickly said before David and Torgal could leave, "I'm a coward."

That caught their attention. "Why?"

"Coz I was gonna run without really talking to you first." Rush's eyes found an interesting spot on the ghastly wallpaper again. "He said if I make my mind up about what you want me to do without your input then I'm just making myself feel good."

David took a quick glance at Torgal, who showed no reaction as far as Rush could tell. David might be seeing something different. "That was far too harsh of him. This cannot be just about what I want. If you want to leave then I will not stop you."

"The thing is... well," Rush put his hands in his back pockets and rocked back on his heels, "well."

"Well?"

"What do you want me to do? Let's hear it first."

"What do you want to do, Rush?"

Rush arched an eyebrow. "I asked first."

"Well..." It was David's turn to look away. Rush wondered what he was thinking. Maybe what they did the night before last? Oh, no. Bad Rush! Banish thought right now! It probably didn't even mean anything to him anyway. "Athlum may go to war soon."

"I'm useless at killing people. You've got your army and your awesome Generals anyway. So I'll just get in the way."

"Things may or may not become dangerous."

"Chances of not-so-certain death."

"This appears to be a very bad idea."

"It does. There'll be explosions and stuff."

"If I didn't have to consider all of those, I would have asked you to come with me in a heartbeat."

"And I'd have gone with you."

"But would you like to come with me anyway?"

Rush's grin was wide.

"Yeah."


	7. Chapter 7

The escort party was large but without fanfare, in acknowledgement that Athlum's allies, Ghor and Celapaleis, were both facing difficult times. David considered this fortunate but only because he could not deal with too much right now. They had to ride fast, but just staying on his horse was taking up most of his concentration. Luckily the party had brought with them his best horse, which knew what to do with the gentlest of instruction. He should have taken Torgal's advice and rode slower, at least for the first day, but he had not guessed his body was still so far from full recovery. On top of that, David was anxious to see his father and start the search for Allan's son.

By the end of the first day, however, David had to admit defeat. It was either take things easy or collapse from his horse. Both options were undignified, but the latter worse for everyone. "I'm so sorry." He had to let Torgal help him down from his mount. "I do not wish to cause any delay, and yet..."

"You used the Gae Bolg. This is normal," said Torgal simply.

Perhaps it was. But it meant he needed to be stronger. "Allan," David said to the man who was watching him and Torgal, "information and intelligence is often highly time-sensitive. We must start the search for your son as soon as possible. Would it be agreeable for you to go on ahead with some of this group? I may cause you to lose a day and I do not wish to delay this by even one single minute."

"Hn. I suppose."

"Then... would you prefer to have Emma or Torgal to travel with you?" It was not a question but an offer of an opportunity, one that David was not sure if Allan wanted.

Allan lifted his chin and narrowed his eyes. "I'll take Torgal."

So Allan did want this chance. "Very well. Torgal, take one third of this party with you first thing in the morning and travel ahead with Allan back to Athlum. Put Pagus on the search right away, tell him to put aside anything he is working on and use everything at his disposal. If the location is found before my return I want retrieval strategies worked on. Work with Allan."

"I know what to do, my lord."

David hoped he really did.

They set up camp for the night. David found that he could not sleep, having slept so much the day before. It was his body that needed rest, not his mind.

"Lord David?"

"Yes, Emma?"

Emma ducked low and put her head through the entrance of the tent. "I thought you might still be awake." She went inside and gave him a cup of warmed wine. "This might help."

"Thank you." Emma knew him too well. "Would you sit with me for a while?"

"Of course."

They settled down, each nursing a cup of wine. David liked these moments spent with Emma. Thinking back, these must have started soon after Emma's husband passed away. It was long enough ago that David could not recall Sir Honeywell's face any more. David was still young then, but somehow Emma had taken to talking to him about things that he did not necessarily understand at that age. She confided in him, trusted and respected him as a person - not a child, not an adult, not someone who would one day rule Athlum, but simply as a person. As David. Emma could not replace the mother David had lost, but she was the closest anyone could get to. Through Emma, David learned how to respect a woman, about sincerity, gentleness, and the pride and concerns of a parent, things that his father could not communicate to him. And as Emma wondered in front of him whether or not she ought to remarry for the sake of her daughter, David wondered in front of her why both of his romances failed the same way and whether or not this was his fate.

Though, this time David did not know if he should say anything about Rush. Emma knew he liked both genders, that was not the problem. It was just that with Rush, David truly had no idea what was happening between them.

But Rush was not the only person on David's mind right now.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

"Is this about Torgal?" Emma asked and David nodded.

"I worry that it's idealistic of me to force him to spend time with Allan. Can a wound that old be healed? Perhaps all I'm doing is make his pain worse and I shouldn't have interfered."

"It would hurt him more to know you are so worried about him." Emma's wine was already gone. She refilled her cup from a hip flask. "Try not to think about healing, but closure. This may be a chance for Allan to be heard and for him to listen, if Torgal is willing to talk."

"And if he isn't?"

"Then he is a two-hundred-years-old fool."

"Emma." David eyed her. "That is quite unkind."

"My apologies." Emma feigned innocence, smiling, the outer corners of her eyes creasing as she did so. "I forget that my lord does not really have a woman's instinct..."

David felt his cheeks heat up, but it must be due to the wine. He let Emma's comment slip, because they were drinking and because he loved her so. "What does your woman's instinct tell you?"

Emma sighed, dropping her smile. "I would rather not chatter about Torgal's personal life."

David was disappointed, although he knew it was probably better this way. He nodded when Emma refilled his cup.

"So, what happened since you rang Athlum from Ghor?"

David told her almost everything - meeting Rush and Allan. Leaving Ghor. Sleeping in caves. The mining tunnel. Fighting alongside people he had never worked with before. Spending days in a forest hiding from the Third Committee. The letters he asked Allan to carry. Staying in the village, realising that Allan was being blackmailed, putting on a show with Rush so that they could find out what was going on. The legion of monsters. Using the Gae Bolg because he did not want to run.

"You have done so well, Lord David," Emma's smile was like one of a proud parent. "But let's get that colour off your hair before you present yourself to your father."

"And here I was thinking that I should show it to him, let him think that once out of his sight I got my hair dyed, picked up smoking..." As Emma laughed, David brought the cup to his lips, detecting a smell that was different from before. He gave the drink a sniff - whatever Emma had in that flask, it probably should not be drunk but used to light fires . "And perhaps became an alcoholic too." He tried it cautiously, surprised by the smooth taste. The burn down his throat was wonderful and the buzz in his head instant. "Emma, I hope you are not drinking this frequently."

"Of course not." She watched him with mild amusement. "My lord has left out some details in his recount of events."

"And so you ply me with alcohol?"

"Oh, I would never dare."

Staring down at the contents of his cup, David spoke quietly. "I would tell you about Rush, but I know not what to say about him." He couldn't even be sure if it was attraction or the mind playing tricks because they were suddenly made to spend all of their time with one another and live in secrecy, watching for shadows at every corner and trusting no one. "All I can say is... he is everything that I am not."

"That might be so, but I see that he and I share one thing."

David tilted his head to one side. "And that is?"

"Concern for you. You could not spare the attention to notice this, but that boy tried to ride close to you all day, as if ready to catch you if you were thrown." As David's lips parted in surprise, Emma shook her head. "You may fool the soldiers, but you cannot fool those who watched you grow up. And apparently you didn't fool him either... although, his riding skills leave much to be desired. He could hardly keep up, much less give you assistance," she said with a scowl of disapproval.

"They don't have horses in Eulam, I recall." Rush. David needed to talk to him. They hadn't really talked since their night of intimacy and although there was not much explaining left to do, he had definitely neglected Rush in the past two days.

"He is from Eulam? You mean today was the first time he rode a horse?"

"I would guess he learned a bit when working in the continent?"

"Good heavens. And we rode so hard. I must go and check on him." Emma got up as far as the tent would allow her. Her motherly instinct must be taking over again. "My lord - "

"I will finish my hot milk and go to bed right away." He chuckled, lifting his cup of wine at her. "Give him a message from me. Tell him..." he drifted off, embarrassed.

"I will tell him you said goodnight," she said helpfully. "Sleep well, my lord."

"Thank you, and you too."

The party travelled slower the following day. Torgal had not spoken before he went on ahead with Allan but it was difficult to tell if that meant anything - Torgal was not known for being talkative. When he noticed David looking at him, though, his face softened as if he understood and appreciated David's good intentions, regardless of what the outcome might be.

At Emma's insistence, they trotted for a while every few leagues to allow both David and the horses to recover. It was good practice for Rush, too, who started to look more confident on the saddle. He steered his mount alongside David's at the first opportunity.

"Last night Emma came to my tent and started screaming, 'how dare you not tell me that you are not conversant with horses! You could have fallen and broke your neck!'"

The corners of David's lips tugged upwards. He could imagine Emma doing exactly that.

"So I said to her, 'sorry I didn't tell you I can't converse with horses?'"

David laughed out loud.

"She's nice, though. Tough woman, but really nice. Spent a long time telling me about horses, then lent me hers this morning."

"Genevieve is a great beast and Emma's treasure. You will have no problems with her." David had recognised the mare right away. Emma rarely let anyone borrow her. When she told Rush he had her eternal gratitude for saving David's life, she meant it.

"Hey there, Gen." Rush stroked the mare for a while before looking up again. "How're you feeling, Dave?"

Sunlight broke through the clouds, streaming onto the land before them. They had just crossed the Ivory Peaks but Blackdale was still distant. David could not even see its landscape yet. He kept his gaze on the land, knowing that Rush was studying him. It was such a simple question that Rush asked, but answering it was far from easy.

"With every step I take closer to home, I feel better, yet my trepidation also grows. I had been anxious to see my father as soon as I can, but now..."

Rush's voice dropped to a whisper. "What's wrong?"

"He has been poisoned, just like Lord Qubine of Celapaleis." David took a shuddering breath. "I learned of it whilst in Ghor, when you stood outside the telephone box and I made that call home."

"Oh my God... shit..."

"Yes, my feelings exactly." In fact, Rush summarised them far better in four words than David ever could. "Lord Qubine does not yet have an heir. His wife, Lady Victoria, is with child and in no shape to handle international affairs. My mother passed away years ago," he said in a matter-of-fact manner, "and I am an only child. All of these mean my return to Athlum is most urgent, because at this moment there is no one in command in the west continent."

His mouth hanging open, Rush shook his head. "Sorry, I think I just lost my words. No wonder you couldn't sleep so often. I had no idea."

"I am sorry about not telling you this sooner. As time went on, I found it harder and harder to explain."

"Uh, it was better that way, I'd have panicked if I knew."

Rush was probably only saying this to make him feel better, but David accepted it.

"It is thanks to you and Allan that I am able to talk about this now, rather than have my head on display on a spike outside Wyrmskeep."

"Don't say that."

"I only want you to know how grateful I am."

"Well if this is the way you're gonna tell me things, I'd rather you tell me nothing, like before."

David held back a small sigh. "I apologise, then. I only meant it as a joke." So, it turned out he really was no good at communication. Telling people what to do was something he had mastered but when it came to getting his feelings across, he was just as bad as his father.

"Actually... nah, I'm sorry."

"Excuse me?"

"Forget what I said." Rush took a hand off the reins to scratch his head. "Don't want you to think I'm telling you what to do like a... somebody." he coughed out the last word.

"Oh." David coughed as well. "Don't worry about that. I appreciate what you said. My father has an unusual sense of humour and talks much about heads on spikes, amongst other things. I picked it up from him."

"Ah... right... I didn't know, sorry."

After a moment's thought, David said, amused, "we ought to find a way to talk that does not involve we constantly apologising to each other."

"Yeah." Rush found this funny as well. "So... is there anything I can do when we're in Athlum to make myself useful?"

This was something David had already considered. "That depends on what you want. For what you have done for me, you can easily be awarded a knighthood."

"Er... if I don't want a knighthood?"

Just as he thought. "Then you will enter Athlum as my guest. I will review the army's needs and, if it is agreeable with you, invite you to be an advisor. Judging from what we saw outside the village, Hermeien's use of monsters is far more extensive than previously thought, and you have the skills and knowledge the army sorely needs."

"Um. Wow. Really?"

"Yes. And that way, you would not have lied in your letter to your family."

"That's awesome! Thanks, you've really thought about this for me." Raising a hand, Rush reached across, intending to land a friendly punch on David's arm, completely forgetting that he was on a horse. When he lost balance, Genevieve bent her knees so that Rush slipped on her coat and landed on the ground softly and without injury.

David's attempt not to laugh failed badly.

"Oh, hell."

The way the mare looked at Rush was as if she could not believe she had to put up with such stupidity. This reminded David of Allan and he laughed again.

Then Emma appeared, pulling up from behind them. "Be careful with my mare," she growled, dismounting to help Rush up Genevieve again before travelling on ahead.

"She's a mum, isn't she," Rush observed. "She's just like my mum."

"Her motherly instinct extends beyond those her daughter's age. Sooner or later you will witness her attempts to look after Torgal, telling him to dress warmly and such."

"How old's Torgal?"

"According to him, he will be two hundred this year."

"Wow."

"It should be a lost cause, but Torgal humours her."

When the two young men laughed, the woman riding ahead of them slowed a little. "Lord David and his honoured guest," she said, not looking back, "I heard that."

David and Rush laughed harder.

"When my lord is done being amused, shall we ride faster and try to get to Blackdale before nightfall?"

"Yes, yes, we shall do that," David called out. Then he turned to Rush. "She is anxious to see if Torgal is all right. Let's go."

"I can still hear you, my lord!"

They arrived in Blackdale that night, crossing the border into Athlum. Blackdale's terrain made dangerous ground to travel in the dark and David felt himself at his limit, so when Emma suggested that they rest, he did not protest.

After a meal and a change of bandages on his arm, which he did not bother to cover with gloves afterwards, David went in search for Rush, finding him at the edge of a wood, from where much of Blackdale could be seen under the full moon.

"What are you doing here?"

Rush jumped. "Oh, hey." He smiled when David went to stand by his side, where he was leaning against a tree. "Just looking around. I've never been to this part of Athlum before. I was planning to come later this year to hunt a few rare monsters... anyway, you're on your own?"

"We've crossed the border. Even Emma is happy to let her guard down a little."

"How far are we from your place?"

"It is about another half a day's ride."

"Uh huh..."

"What is it?"

"When we get there I suppose there'll be people waiting for you and you'll get really busy. I was just thinking we... never mind."

Rush was not often hesitant with his words, but David could figure out what he meant.

"Ah..."

Swaying trees cast shadows on Rush's face, but it only made David stare. There was something about Rush that made him different but he could not put his finger on what it was. It was not to do with the way Rush looked, although he was rather pleasing to the eyes. Was it how he talked? The fact that he was always honest? The way he still stuck by David despite the dangers?

But this was not the time to ponder such things. Rush was right, they were probably going to have little time to themselves from now on. And although they were doing things in the wrong order - he would love to know how it would feel to hold Rush's hand, but would Rush even want that? - David really wanted to...

"If it is fine with you," David stepped into Rush's personal space, but kept his hands to himself for the time being, "let's make the most of now."

He let his words hang in the air for a moment, saw that Rush was pleased by the suggestion, then leaned forward and kissed him.

It was as if they were lovers. Their breaths mingled as they gently brushed their lips together, again and again, their noses occasionally bumping. Nothing hurried. David kept his mouth closed and pulled back a little every time Rush's lips parted and tried to capture his.

David could feel Rush's smile. "Tease."

Perhaps he was teasing Rush a little. David liked to think that he was rather good at this - both teasing and kissing - and he had been told so before, repeatedly.

"Rush," he whispered, putting his arms around the young man in front of him, snaking his hands between body and tree trunk.

Rush breathed through his lips and David went for the kill.

As soon as David's tongue slipped inside his mouth, Rush wound his arms around David, a hand on the back and the other in David's hair, bringing him even closer. But even then, David took his time, played with the tip of Rush's tongue for a while before finally delving deeper, his heart beating faster as Rush welcomed and encouraged the intrusion. Rush's hands let go and then grabbed hold of David again when David pushed a bit more, pinning him hard against the tree. Rush didn't protest.

"Holy shit," he said when their mouths parted briefly, "do that again."

David was happy to oblige.

He didn't noticed when it was that their hands started to fumble, but when he did realise what they were doing, he had already undid the fastening on Rush's trousers and Rush was struggling with his. Quickly, he gave Rush some help, not caring where they were, his mouth leaving Rush's when a hand slipped inside and held his hard flesh.

David had to use his left hand, which made him clumsy, but what he might have lacked in dexterity was more than made up for by the heat by between them. He rested his head on Rush's shoulder, pushed their bodies flush together, and his hand pumped furiously as Rush did the same for him, their chests rising and falling together.

Soon there were no sounds except their ragged breathing and clothes rustling. As climax neared, David turned his head, wanting to see Rush's face in pleasure since he never even saw Rush that night in the village, but he could hardly focus.

When it was over and David was able to think again, he finally realised what he had done. In the open. Where anyone could have found them. Gosh, just what had Rush done to him?

"We should not push our luck," he said despite the day's travel and post-pleasure exhaustion making him hardly able to stand, and his hand was still holding Rush, "let's go back to the camp before they start looking for us."

Rush kissed the nearest part of David his mouth could reach, a spot just behind David's ear.

"Okay."


	8. Chapter 8

Built on the highest point in the land, Athlum Castle dated back several centuries and was the residence of many generations of Athlum's rulers. It was a well-maintained, functional castle that had been modernised on several occasions to keep up with the times, yet it still managed to retain its splendour.

Rush had been to Athlum quite a few times, usually for work and occasionally on family holidays. Like any tourist, he had seen the castle from afar, ooh-and-ahh'ed at the impressive gardens and the even more impressive keep they surrounded.

He had never, ever imagined he would one day be able to go inside, in front of a group of soldiers and behind David Nassau, riding a horse that belonged to one of the famous Generals.

And thank God Emma was here. He had panicked when everyone fell into formation all of a sudden. Steering herself towards Rush, Emma told him in a hushed voice, "ride beside me. Keep yourself fifteen yards from Lord David and stop when I stop."

They dismounted when they reached the end of the inner gardens. Rush stuck by Emma's side when some people led the horses away and opened a gate. David went in first, followed by Emma and Rush. They were hardly inside the first hall when a blur of yama charged at David at high speed.

"Young Master!" the yama shouted, throwing his arms around David. For a moment Rush thought David would die from being crushed, but he just chuckled.

"I'm fine."

Then Rush noticed the others. The hall was full of people, but several of them stood out. Torgal was there, with a qsiti man beside him, dressed in the same red as Torgal. A mitra woman near them was running towards the new arrivals.

"Mother! Lord David! You are both safe?"

Even if she had said nothing, it was impossible not to be able to tell who she was. The young woman seemed to be around his age or a bit older, and she was an exact copy of Emma. It seemed like she was going to throw herself on David the way the yama just did, but Emma's glare stopped her.

"Yes, we are both well. Thank you, Emmy."

"I got your letter just before Mother called..."

"Enough. Lord David has matters to get on with," Emma warned, and her daughter promptly took a step back, her head bowed.

"Yes," David began, then he remembered something and walked back to Emma and Rush. "Rush, I would love to show you around, but I must - "

"Don't worry about me. Go see your dad," Rush cut him off with a quiet voice. David nodded gratefully and left, walking as fast as he could without breaking into a run.

As soon as David was out of sight, everyone's attention fell on the unfamiliar-looking young mitra.

"This is Rush Sykes, Lord David's guest." Once again Emma came to the rescue. She waved someone over and told him to get a suite prepared for Rush, then sent everyone back to work apart from the yama, the qsiti, Torgal and Emmy.

"My, my." The qsiti waddled over from the far end of the hall, rubbing his chin. "To my memory, Lord David has never had guests before."

"He hasn't?" Rush felt quite pleased with himself until he realised this meant David had never had friends over before. But would anyone invite friends home if home was the castle?

"No. And at such a time as well..."

Emma looked at Torgal, who simply said, "I have not yet had the time to explain anything."

She nodded in understanding. "I will do it then. But not here. Let's use the reading room."

The reading room, unlike anything that Rush might have imagined, was a cosy little room with plush chairs, rugs and an unlit fireplace. Although Torgal had gone back to his work, there still weren't enough chairs so Rush and Blocter, the yama, sat on the rug whilst Emma explained all that she knew and got Rush to fill in any missing detail.

"So, it is because of you and Allan that Lord David is safe and sound," Pagus, the qsiti, concluded, looking impressed. Blocter threw himself onto Rush, declaring that they were best buds from now on. Rush wondered if Blocter would do the same thing to Allan later on and what a bloody mess that would result in.

"Allan did all the leading and fighting; I kinda just went along and pretended to be useful, really." Not wanting all this attention, Rush looked around them and asked, "so where's Allan anyway?"

"He and Torgal only arrived a day before you. We have some leads but they all need further investigation, I think that's what they're doing at the moment." said Pagus. "Those two... they don't seem to get on so well."

That probably meant the journey back together didn't lead to them patching things up or even just starting a constructive dialogue. "They have a history," said Emma.

"Poor Torgal, he is looking so worried you'd think it's his own son who's been taken."

Rush was starting to feel stupid again. "Really?"

"It's the ears. Watch the ears," whispered Blocter, gesturing above his head.

Oh, like watching a cat...

The impromptu meeting ended with the majority of the party going back to work with Torgal and Allan, and Emma to check on David. At the door, as a servant waited to lead Rush to his suite, Emmy stopped for a quick word.

"I cannot thank you enough for helping Lord David. I was so worried! If there is anything you need, please just say so, I will do whatever I can to help."

"It's nothing, really. But uh, okay?"

The servant led Rush to the guest suite in a building separate from the main keep, which he was told had been used by visiting lords from other countries, including the Lords of Ghor and Celapaleis. He wasn't sure why he felt that was amusing, but somehow it was. Then someone else took him on a quick tour, and after that he was left alone. Finding a phone in his suite - wow, a phone in his own room! - he called Eulam, where there were two phones in the village his family was staying in and someone had the full time job of manning them.

The money had arrived without problems and building works were just about to start for the new house, his father said. Rush decided not to say he was calling from the castle, in the suite used by Lord Qubine before. He also didn't say he'd become friends with Lord David of Athlum. Because why would anyone believe that? Rush could hardly keep up with things himself right now and he already didn't care much about royalties and politicians.

Rush's father told him to serve Athlum the best he could, with or without pay. Rush gave him his promise. He didn't want to take money from David again anyway. After the things they had done, accepting money would be as if...

Well, it wasn't like he knew how David felt about him. But he knew David was a damn fine kisser and the thought of last night at Blackdale was enough to make his heart race. But they were at the castle now, things weren't going to be the same. Rush came here to help, not to woo the young lord... or maybe he wanted to do both. He really did want to help, though - just thinking about all that Hermeien had done could make his blood boil - so if he could just keep his focus, think less about David and more about pissing Hermeien off, less about that charisma and that passionate yet level-headed personality, and more about killing monsters, less about that hot body and what those lips could do and how it might feel to have those hands all over him... oh, hell.

With a sigh, he went to take a shower and then ventured back to the main keep. It took him half an hour and one verification of his identity before he was shown to the room where all the Generals, Emmy and Allan were.

In a room full of wall tapestries and mahogany furniture, the group was standing around a table in the centre, on which was a hand-drawn map. Not wanting to disrupt, Rush stood behind Emma and watched over her shoulder.

They were almost completely certain, after reports from their agents in Nagapur, that Torgal - Allan's son, not the General - was being held in the aqueducts beneath Nagapur. Those ducts were vast, however, spreading throughout the Nordenalm, Sudenalm and Flussbahn districts, and all they had to go by at the moment was a hand-drawn map by an agent who could not pinpoint where exactly Torgal was. So the question was how they were going to approach this. To be truthful, after they failed to blackmail Allan it was likely that the Third Committee saw no need to keep Torgal alive any longer. They all knew this, but it was not a point of discussion. They were going to bring him back even if only his body remained.

Everyone stopped talking for a moment when the double doors were thrown open.

"Lord David," nearly everyone greeted, except Allan, and Rush, who said "Dave," causing a few raised eyebrows. David gestured for them to continue, so they moved about to create a space for their lord to see the maps, and then filled him in on what they knew so far. When they were done, he simply nodded.

"This is hardly a starting point; rash response right now might only further endanger young Torgal. Pagus, get in touch with Celapaleis and Ghor and see if they have more information on these aqueducts. Blocter, bring the agent to me, I will pry his brain myself. And how goes the gathering of evidence from those who saw young Torgal being taken?"

"Yes, my lord. That is still ongoing."

"Hurry up with it." Athlum's young lord took a deep breath, as if to still the urgency within him. "Rush, Allan, my father is awake," he then said, but there was not even a trace of a smile on his face, so everyone swallowed their words of jubilation. "He would like to see you."

And so Rush found himself in the solar of Lord Rolan, ruler of Athlum.

Lord Rolan was only in his forties, and he was not a particularly tall or big man. His hair was dark, not a single strand of gold in sight, but David must have got his skin and eye colours from his father. Lord Rolan was sitting at a table when David led Rush and Allan in. He then left the room as his father told him to.

"David told me what had happened. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart for bringing him back safe and sound."

Rush scratched the back of his head, smiled, and shrugged. Allan gave no reaction, looking annoyed as usual.

"Allan, we're both fathers, I know how you feel. You passed on a chance to rescue your son in order to keep mine safe. We will do everything we can to get him back."

Allan still said nothing. Rush was no medical expert, but even he could tell things didn't look good. Each word Lord Rolan said was loud and clear, but there was an undertone to them, as if the man was in a lot of pain. And his face was not just pale, but with a hint of grey.

"I want you two to do something for me. You have already done so much for Athlum that I don't wish to ask for further favours, but there is no one else I can ask this of..."

When the meeting was over, Rush left the solar in a daze. He hadn't noticed where he was until Allan gave him a shove.

"What in the world is wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Rush looked around him. He hadn't paid attention to what the Lords' private chambers looked like when David led them here. Now that he looked, everything turned out to be more modest than he would have imagined. Less shining gold and more rich fabrics.

"You're going to do the thing he asked. I'm busy."

"Um, sure." Rush nodded absently. Allan obviously wanted nothing to do with it. Not that Rush wanted to, either.

David was waiting for them in the hall further out. Allan said he didn't need a guide and went off his own way.

"I hope my lord father hadn't said anything distressing or embarrassing," David said after seeing the look on Rush's face. "Rush, is everything all right?"

"Yeah." What should he say? "I just... didn't think I'd suddenly be talking to the ruler of Athlum. It's all a bit much for me."

It didn't seem like David believed a single word Rush just said. "You were hardly fazed when you learned of my true identity and met the Generals."

"But your dad's different."

"Is that so?"

"You just don't realise because he's your dad."

They left the solar and David led the way out, bringing them down to a small but vibrant garden, which was still part of the lords' private quarters and Rush had not seen during his tour. Passing under the short pergola, David slowed and eventually stopped.

"What did my father say to you?"

"Just 'thank you for saving David', that's all."

"If that was all he wanted to say he would not have dismissed me. Also, Rush, lying is not in your nature. It's showing all over your face." David's voice was kind, with no intention to accuse. "Tell me what my father said to you just now."

Rush chewed his lips. Maybe it was better this way. It was David who demanded to know, he didn't give the information voluntarily.

"He wants me to get him a blend of televa, ur seeds and titicaca leaf."

For a very long time after Rush's words, David did not speak. It was common knowledge: those herbs, individually, had beneficial properties and they had been used since history began for healing purposes. But if taken together, they provided endless energy and blocked out all pain for up to two weeks, followed by a fast death. It was the poison of choice for those terminally ill.

Trying to give David a bit of space after breaking this news, Rush averted his eyes and watched the sky darken instead. When the clouds became more blue than orange, David finally exhaled deeply.

"I see."

"Dave..."

"Don't worry about this. I will take care of it."

"What are you going to do?" Rush asked in a faint whisper, because he didn't know if he should ask and David could pretend not to have heard him if he didn't want to answer.

"My father probably wants to spare me from having to do it again, but it is my duty as his son, I cannot let you bear the burden."

"'Again'?" He didn't like the sound of this. He really didn't.

There was no reply. Maybe David wanted to be left alone. But Rush definitely couldn't leave David now.

It felt like yet another eternity passed before David, his eyes still on something at a distance, spoke in a very soft voice. "Only my father and Torgal know about this: my mother died by my hands."

Rush couldn't be sure if he heard that right, but he didn't know how to ask for a confirmation.

"Her sickness tortured her. It wasn't curable and she was in constant, unbearable pain. She asked again and again for release, but my father could not bring himself to do it. It was I who gave her the poison. Not the blend you mentioned, but an instant one, for her body was already too rotted."

Oh, fuck.

Rush reached out for David, but his hands stopped mid-way. What should he do? Would David want a hug? Would he hate any show of sympathy? Should Rush say something, insist that Lord Rolan wanted him, not David, to do this?

"Rush," David turned his head. He was smiling. "Thank you for trying to shoulder this. And thank you for your honesty."

It sounded as if Rush actually did something helpful rather than just sat here being completely useless. But if honesty was his only strong point, then maybe he should make more use of it. "What do you want me to do?" He walked around to bring himself face-to-face with David.

David stared at him. In the past two weeks, when it was his own life on the line, Rush still never saw so much emotion in David. His eyes were pained, confused, frightened, defenceless.

"I don't know."

Well, in that case, one of them would have to decide. Moving forward, Rush brought his arms around David. "How about this?"

David stayed very still, like a block of ice barely melting against Rush's warmth. "This is nice."

"I'll get the things with you. You don't need to do it alone."

The night was warm, but the body in Rush's embrace did not stop trembling for a long time.


	9. Chapter 9

David told the servants he would take dinner to his father himself. Pushing the trolley towards the solar, he paused when he passed by his mother's garden and placed a small box from his pocket onto the serving tray.

"Lord David," a voice called behind him. It was Torgal. The scene was eerily familiar, almost exactly as it was eight years ago, except the one in bed back then was his beautiful mother. But Torgal was also there then, as he was here now.

"Allan told you?"

"Let me. I will take it to him."

"Thank you, but this is my task to complete."

Torgal fell silent. David gave him a smile then continued on, pushing the silver trolley up ramps that would eventually lead to his father's chambers, following the paths Emmy, Blocter and he used to play on as children, racing from one end to another, or hide-and-seek, or ball games, as their parents looked on and laughed.

Arriving at the chamber, David laid out the table first, then helped his father sit down. Lord Rolan seemed strong, but his colours were that of a dying man. Seeing the herb box, he examined its contents. He did not seem too surprised.

"So they told you."

"Don't blame them; I demanded the truth," said David, pouring his father a glass of water before sitting down to his left.

"It's good they keep no secrets from you. This makes them men you can trust."

"You were testing them?"

"After what they'd already done for you? Don't be silly. I just didn't want to ask you to do this." Lord Rolan sighed, and suddenly he looked much older than he really was. "All your life you've dealt with burdens that should be mine. Even your mother... and now this."

"You are talking rubbish again."

Unexpectedly, Lord Rolan's laughter roared, a sound that should have come from a man twice his size. "You don't just look like your mother, you even scold me the same way she did."

David could not help but smile.

"You take a lot more after Isabel than you do me. I suppose she did spend much more time with you, although she left early."

"You have a country to run."

"Are you angry?"

"No." Was his father asking about not having spent more time together, or about the poison? David didn't know. "Maybe."

"Take a look at this."

Lord Rolan rolled up his right sleeve. "Ah..." David saw, and understood.

His father tipped the herbs onto his palm. "Now you know why. Forgive me, son."

"Rather the battlefield than the bed. There is nothing to forgive; I would have chosen the same."

"Rather the battlefield than the bed..." his father muttered with a smile. David watched him take the blend of herbs that would eventually kill him. "Well put."

"I am more like you than you think." David forced a smile, feeling his throat clench. They picked up the cutlery and began to eat.

"I'd like to have spent more time with you. Now we only have ten days, maybe two weeks. In the end I'm just like your granddad, a failure of a father." Lord Rolan gestured for quiet before his son could protest. "Fortunately you've done well even without my guidance. I wanted to leave you with a country that is in peace, but all I can give you now is unfinished work. You will be the one to lead Athlum to true prosperity and put Wilfred Hermeien's head on a spike."

David could not laugh.

"Emma agrees with me, you know?"

"Emma?"

"I talked to her just before you came, and asked for her hand in marriage."

"Pardon me?" David nearly spilled his drink.

"If she became your stepmother, then she has the power to stop you if she sees you about to make a grave mistake. So I asked her to marry me. Guess what she said."

"Did she ask you if you'd hit your head?"

Lord Rolan chuckled. "She said, 'David will do well. He is ready to lead and he will be a better leader than you are.'"

David could not believe Emma would ever say such words. "How dare - "

"I paraphrased. But that's what she meant and I believe her; she knows my son better than I do." Lord Rolan shook his head. "She truly does. And now that I know I don't need to worry, I can try to make up for lost time and be a father to you."

David kept his quiet, regretting that he said yes, perhaps he was angry, earlier.

"Though I suppose it's too late for me to ask 'how was school today', isn't it?" asked his father softly.

For the first time in years, David felt that strange sting in the back of his eyes. Not now. He bowed his head, chewed on his lips and told himself not to cry. He held it back for his mother, he could do it again.

"School was good. I enjoyed it."

"Did you make friends?"

"Yes, many," David answered, thinking about the one day every year when all his friends' parents would go to school and meet with the teachers to find out how their sons and daughters were doing. His mother used to go, but after she died - after he killed her - no one went in her place. Semester after semester, he brought home report cards and his father signed them, too busy to even read them first. It wasn't that his father didn't care, but that he believed in David and didn't feel the need to check, surely...

"Did you get up to any mischief?"

"I... might have."

"Well?" Lord Rolan arched an eyebrow, looking pleased.

"Do you want to know about the spring festival or the home economics class first?"

Dinner was long over and Lord Rolan was showing signs of tiredness by the time the bell rang. "My lords!" Torgal called from outside. David let him in.

"My sincere apologies for the interruption."

"What is it?"

"A message arrived from Ghor. They request we take action."

"Perfect timing," said Lord Rolan, looking to his son. "You know what the plan is. Prove to me that Emma is right; show me the man you've become."

David had Torgal gather everyone, including Allan and Rush, to the Situation Room. His father was in bed, his body too tired to carry on, but the herbs would give him energy come tomorrow. Everything was left to David. He stood tall, determined to carry on as normal.

"We have received communication from Ghor requesting our action."

"You mean they seek aid," muttered Allan.

"I could not tell you this before," David knew this was coming, "Ghor, Celapaleis and Athlum have long devised a plan to deal with Nagapur. We know that if Hermeien was to act his first target would be Ghor. The message means Ghor has successfully lured the Nagapurian army into the predetermined location for the next step."

"Interesting..." Allan narrowed his eyes. "You mentioned Celapaleis."

"Yes, I will get to that later." David put his attention back to everyone in the room. "We will carry out our part of the plan. Pagus, Emma, Blocter, you will ride with my father to fight the Nagapurians. Torgal, Allan and I will make use of that distraction to go to the aqueducts and retrieve young Torgal. Rush, I need your help with the army's preparations. I do not yet know what is best for you when we actually march; we will discuss that soon. We ride in five days' time, as planned. Everyone understand so far?"

"Lord David, would it not be more appropriate for you to ride with Lord Rolan?"

David could see the true reason behind Torgal's question. "I gave my word that I would bring Allan's son back. Also, lord father's strength will be more than enough if we stick fully to the plan."

It seemed like Torgal wanted to disagree, but kept his words to himself in the end.

"I will go to Celapaleis tomorrow and speak with Lady Victoria. Athlum will ride in full force and leave behind minimal men for defence. I will request Celapaleis to provide our defence in exchange for Athlum's effort to fulfil their role in the plan as well." David paused briefly, then continued, "Emmy, work with Celapaleis. I leave Athlum to you."

"Yes, my lord!"

David started to walk slowly from one end of the room to the other. He could feel everyone's gaze following him. "We will use these five days to determine Hermeien's location. I predict he to be in Wyrmskeep; he is the kind of man who would hide in the safety of his castle whilst his men die for him in battle. After going to the aqueducts, I will go to Wymskeep and take Hermeien's head."

There was absolute silence for a while, as if nobody even dared to breathe.

Finally reaching the other end of the room, David spun on his heels very slowly. "One last thing: the upcoming battle will be when my father uses the Gae Bolg for the last time." He had seen it from his father's arm: the next firing of the Gae Bolg would be the one that would take his life. Lord Rolan was choosing to die on the battlefield rather than by Nagapur's poison, hence he took the herbs that would give him energy and block out pain, yet take his life faster. "I hope to be able to finish my tasks and join the battle before then, but if I cannot make it in time... Pagus, Emma, Blocter, take control until I return."

No one said anything. The true price of using the Gae Bolg was well-known; even Rush didn't have to ask what he meant.

"In that case I agree with Torgal for once," Allan spoke again. It seemed like he was speaking for all of them. "You should go with your father."

"He and I decided on this together. You'd chosen to leave your son in danger in order to help me, so you must understand that we based our decision on what must be done. He will bring down Nagapur's army whilst I find Torgal with you and then take Hermeien's life. If I cannot be there when he uses the Gae Bolg... then so be it."

He couldn't do this for much longer. Not tonight. Just not tonight.

"That is everything. Go and have an early rest. We start our preparations tomorrow."

The four Generals began to gather around David, but he pushed past them all, paying no attention to what they were saying. This was a time when no words could comfort; he did not want to hear anything, he did not want to say anything. "Don't disturb me for the rest of tonight."

He lay awake in bed.

At dinner, he and his father talked about school, about joining the army and working from soldier up to the rank of commander within two years purely by David's own merit. They talked about his trip, what he had seen and learned up to the point when he nearly got killed in Ghor and had his head become a decoration at Wyrmskeep. They talked about David's interests: drinking with Emma, watching Pagus irritate Torgal with his questions on history, collecting ancient swords, horse-riding, going into town and drinking with his school friends.

They talked just like father and son.

David didn't know if he really wanted that. It made losing his father hurt more. He would rather never be able to talk to him if that meant none of this had to happen.

The bell rang, followed by a very small, frightened voice. "L-Lord David..."

"I said no visitors!"

"If you must shout, then shout at me and not your servant, my lord." The door opened. Emma was outside, having entered the private chambers despite David's instruction earlier. "There you go," she told the person behind her, pushed him inside and closed the door.

Rush stumbled for several steps.

David sat up and swung his legs off the bed. "Rush. I am sorry, but I truly wish to be left alone. Could you please leave?"

Ignoring the request, Rush walked further into the room. "I asked Emma where your room is. She told me you don't want to see anyone but I insisted, so don't get mad at her."

"I appreciate you both mean well, I really do. But please."

"Dave - "

"Just leave!"

The shout made Rush pause, but he carried on. "I've got some things with me." He put a hand in his left pocket, pulling out something, which he dropped on David's bed. "I've got beef jerky. We can eat all night and you can listen to me ramble about shit, like we did on the train." Then he took out something from his right pocket as well, putting it down next to the jerky. It was a small bottle. "Or I've got some base oil I nicked from the medicine cupboard."

"Oil?" David eyed the bottle.

"To slick things up," Rush said, "so that you won't tear me."

It took a moment for David to comprehend what Rush meant. Rush couldn't be offering to... "You... oh, gosh. I... I know not what to say."

"You don't have to say anything."

"No, what I mean is... thank you, truly. But that is a very bad idea. At this moment all I desire is to hurt someone."

It was difficult to tell what Rush's real reaction was in this semi-darkness. "Fine. How about the jerky?"

"Please, leave me."

"Do you want me to hold you?" Rush moved another step closer. "There must be something I can do. I can get a pile of pillows for you to punch. Or we can take a walk. When I'm pissed off I usually - "

"Get out!"

It was then that Rush finally pulled back. "Okay. Sorry," he said quietly, a hand reaching into his back pocket. "Just one last thing."

Barely able to contain his irrational anger, David had to fight hard to not sweep everything onto the floor. "I don't need anything! Out, now!"

"Emma said to give you this. I guess it's more useful to you than I am." There was the sound of something solid being placed on a table, and then the door opening and closing softly. "G'night. Try get some sleep, yeah?"

After Rush left the room, David finally took a look at what he left behind. Emma's hip flask.

He drained it and went to sleep.

On the next day, he returned the flask to Emma. Finding it empty, Emma cocked her head to one side.

"May I give you two pieces of advice, my lord?"

"Of course."

"First, alcohol is best enjoyed in moderation," she said, tucking the flask inside a pocket, "and second, when you have the choice between the companionship of people and alcohol, always choose people."

"I know." David lowered his gaze. He had regretted his words the moment he opened his eyes in the morning and saw the things Rush had left behind. _"I guess it's more useful to you than I am."_ \- he should have stopped Rush from leaving then.

"I brought him to you last night because I had never seen you laugh the way you did during our journey back, when you and he rode side-by-side. Whatever the two of you are, or are not, at least be kind to him."

"Stop, Emma. I feel bad enough about it already." David put his hands in his pockets, feeling the packet of beef jerky and the bottle of oil inside. He didn't want their first time to come about this way, he didn't regret turning down that offer, but it wasn't the only offer Rush made. It was the first time David lost his calm to such an extent, and it had to be in the face of genuine kindness.

"Where is he?"

"I have not seen him this morning."

David, the Generals and Lord Rolan had breakfast together. The herbs were taking effect and Lord Rolan looked completely healthy now. Allan had gone to try to get more information on the aqueducts from the current Steel Syndicate, whereas Rush left to start working with the troops. It was probably a convenient excuse to avoid David, one he could do little about. After the meal, he departed for Celapaleis, returning at dusk, just in time for dinner.

"How is Qubine?"

"He is recovering and sends you his regards." David kept the bitterness out of his voice. Lord Qubine of Celapaleis was born with a condition where his metabolism was half of that of a normal man. It had caused him much suffering, but it appeared that this time the condition had saved his life. "He is still very weak, but he has agreed to provide our defence."

"That's good enough," said Lord Rolan as he took his seat at the table. They were dining in private again. "No more talk of war for now; it ruins the appetite."

"Mother's words." David smiled.

"She was a wise woman." Lord Rolan was melancholic. "David, you are... nineteen now?"

"I'll turn twenty-one this year."

"How time flies." A sigh. "Have you taken a woman to bed?"

David hid his sudden unease by eating. Now he knew what his classmates meant when they said they got "the talk".

"Your mother and I sent you to an ordinary school so that you could live a life as close to a normal teenager as possible. I was sixteen when I first took a girl to bed. You're a good-looking lad, David. Surely you've had girlfriends."

"Yes..."

"So you know the pleasure of a woman?"

It took David a while to make up his mind on what to say. "Yes... and also that of a man."

After the stunned silence, laughter erupted from Lord Rolan. "Excellent! Double the choices!"

David didn't know if this was his father's real reaction or if this sort of thing no longer mattered when they only had limited time to be together. He had a feeling he would never know.

"Ah, I thought I'd be able to give you some fatherly advice, but you've already stormed on ahead. Might be just as well. Tell me about them."

David busied himself with food again.

"Come now. At least tell your father your most recent conquest."

That did not make it any better. "Please talk less and eat more. The food will get cold."

"Should I ask Emma instead?"

"The roast chicken is very good."

"Very well." Lord Rolan looked more amused than annoyed. "I guess my response was more-or-less the same when your grandfather asked me the same questions." He lowered his knife and fork for a moment. "But let me tell you one thing. One of the most important things in life and probably the only thing I can teach you, as much of a failed father as I am."

"If you talk that way once more I refuse to dine with you again."

"You've really learned from Isabel," Lord Rolan chuckled, then turned serious. "Listen, David. You will know you are truly in love when you find someone who you love not just for her... or his... beauty - and you know I don't mean physical beauty. If you also love them for their flaws, for the way they make you laugh, for how they can make you feel delightfully helpless, then you're truly in love. If you find someone like that and they feel the same about you, don't ever let them go. If you do, you'll live a life of regret."

David took a moment to let the words settle in his brain, ingraining them into his memory.

"Yes, Father."

"Never, ever forget."

"I won't."

After dinner, David went to the guest quarters. "Where is Rush?" he asked the first person he could find.

"Lord David." The servant bowed. "Mr Sykes has retired for the night."

"This early?"

"He seemed exhausted, my lord. I was about to deliver a message from him to you." The servant produced a piece of folded paper from somewhere. "My lord."

He opened the note.

_Sorry about last night. I'm normally not so pushy, I swear! Sorry._

David covered forehead with a hand, brushing away his fringe, his eyes fixed on the handwriting that was quite a lot neater than he remembered. Rush obviously made an extra effort.

"How dare he."

How dare Rush apologise for what he was about to make an apology for!

"My lord?"

"Nothing to worry about. Thank you, you are excused."

Reading the note again, David didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. There was one thing he was sure about, however: he was in love.


	10. Chapter 10

Emma could hear shouting long before she reached the meeting room. It was the only room in this corridor being used, an obvious and deliberate decision by Torgal - Allan wasn't good at keeping his voice down when he was angry.

When Emma entered the room, Allan was just on his way out. "I said I'd let your little mitra lord help me, but you aren't part of the deal. You will have no part in this!" He narrowly missed bumping into Emma, then stormed down the corridor, muttering to himself, "I must not lose my temper over a man like him..."

Shutting the door behind her, Emma surveyed the room, seeing new pieces of paper on the table that weren't there earlier in the day. Torgal glanced at her, acknowledging her presence, then focused his attention on the information in front of him.

"You need to take some rest," she told him. "Both you and Allan."

"We have just received information on the aqueducts from the Steel Syndicate."

That response hardly satisfied Emma. "Then sleep and wake earlier to review it. You are tired and this is not an efficient use of time. Even Lord David has retired for the night already."

Torgal pulled back from the table a little. "Then why are you still here?"

"To herd people like you to bed," said Emma, mirthful. They were preparing for battle and at such times, all the Generals slept in the castle rather than their own homes. Emma liked this arrangement; it made it easier for her to keep an eye on everyone. "Because you need someone one fifth of your age to remind you how to take care of yourself."

But it wasn't as if she didn't know Torgal would not listen to her. With a shake of her head, she left the room to get someone to make tea, then brought it back herself.

The expression on Torgal's face softened a little. He helped himself to the tea. "My gratitude."

Emma wasn't much of a tea drinker, but she took a cup as well. "There's no sign of Allan. I think he has gone to bed."

"I see."

"Judging by the way he is still acting towards you, I take it things aren't going smoothly."

"Allan tends to get aggressive when he asks for a favour or wants help. It's nothing to worry about. He isn't truly against my involvement."

She wasn't going to argue with him about a man he had known for longer than she had lived. She tried a different tactic. "Lord David is very worried about you."

A sigh. "He needn't be."

"Try telling him that." She sat down on one of the chairs that had been pushed against the wall, cradling the china cup in her hands. "And whilst you are at it, please convince me, too."

Torgal was silent.

"Talk to him, Torgal," she said, knowing she might be overstepping her mark. "Living longer doesn't mean time is shorter for you; eighty years is still eighty years. It's a long time to be upset about something. I can see why he treats you this way."

"I don't mind." Torgal finished his tea and poured himself another cup. "Eighty years _is_ a long time. Long enough for some things to no longer matter."

"Don't be stubborn. It clearly matters to him." Putting down the tea cup on the chair next to hers, she shook her head. "It's not my place to comment. I'm sorry."

"I appreciate your concern."

"I just told you not to be stubborn." Emma covered her mouth with a hand to contain a chortle. "Did I really say that?"

"You did." Torgal went to her. She removed the cup she'd put on the chair so that he could sit down. "It's a sign you need to rest."

"Not until you do, old man."

In a rare display of affection, Torgal pulled a face at her, making her laugh. She elbowed him in the ribs, the way she used to do when she was younger.

"What will you do after we find your namesake?"

Torgal's ears twitched once at Emma's choice of word. "Send him and Allan home. They should not have got involved in Athlum's troubles in the first place."

"I might not know Allan at all, but he named his own flesh and blood after you. This clearly is important to him. I have the feeling even if you manage to make him leave, he would not be happy the way you want him to be," Emma said quietly. Torgal didn't try to disagree with her. "His anger is not truly directed at you. You know that. He emotionally punishes himself for what he thinks he had done. If you don't give him the explanation he needs, what will happen to that anger in another eighty years' time?"

"He had not done anything. I have already explained when we were at the village."

Emma could not stop herself from frowning. What Torgal said back then was not the whole truth. "Did you really?"

"If he does not believe me, there is naught that I can do."

She couldn't tell who she felt more sorry for. But Torgal's mind was already made, so what could she do?

They drank their tea in silence. When Torgal's cup became empty, Emma confiscated it. "Go to bed."

After making sure Torgal returned to his suite and seeing the light under the door go out, she finally heaved a sigh. The older they were, the more stubborn they got. And wisdom didn't always come with age. Torgal was a prime example, even if by sovani standard he was only a young man.

She looked around her. The guest wing was quiet.

Emmy, Lord David, Torgal, Pagus, Blocter, Rush. That should be everyone...

...Wait.

She approached the lone figure leaning against a marble pillar, arms crossed and looking up at the sky. When Allan lowered his gaze onto her, she stopped and put her hands on her hips.

"Why are you not in bed?"

"What I do is none of your business."

She pointed at the corridor to her right, in the direction of Allan's suite. "Bed, now."

"Who do you think you are..."

Emma narrowed her eyes, not moving at all even when Allan glared at her.

After a while, he uncrossed his arms and pushed himself off the pillar. "I'm tired anyway." He went the way Emma was pointing at. "Goddamn mitras..."

When Allan was out of sight and she heard the echo of the door to his suite being opened and shut, Emma smiled.

Emmy, Lord David, Torgal, Pagus, Blocter, Rush and Allan. That was everyone.

Now she could go to bed.


	11. Chapter 11

Allan moved away a little when Rush took the seat next to him, but by now Rush knew to not take offence. Most of what Allan did, he only did for show.

Everyone was at the table except David. When Lord Rolan saw Rush arrive, he told Rush to never miss breakfast again, the way he did yesterday. "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," he said, then waved someone over. "Where is David? Get him here right now!" He turned back to Rush again. "Rush, start eating. Don't wait, the food'll get cold."

To be invited to eat with Lord Rolan and the Generals was probably a great honour, and Rush wasn't someone who usually skipped breakfast, but he ate without much enthusiasm. He was trying to avoid this by running for the barracks first thing in the morning like he did yesterday, but one of the servants caught him before he managed to leave the castle and said Lord Rolan wanted his presence.

Of course, it wasn't that he didn't want to see Lord Rolan. And it wasn't like he didn't want to see David, either, but after the other night things just felt awkward. It was so stupid of him to think he could do anything at all to help David, as if he was special in some way. He was the guy who happened to be in the right place at the right time but that was about it. If it'd been Blocter or Emmy who broke the news of Lord Rolan's decision to David, then they would have comforted him there, too. Who did he think he was to go to David's room on a night like that and insist he was what David needed? How naive. And this wasn't even the first time this sort of thing had happened to him. He really needed to learn.

But David wasn't a bad guy, hell no, Rush could never think of him as one. It was his own fault he was mistaken about the nature of their relationship. And now that he'd made such an idiot of himself, he didn't know how to talk to David any more. It'd just be easier if he focused on his tasks instead.

"Oh, you are already here," a voice said. David entered the dining hall, his eyes on Rush.

"David, what time do you call this?" Lord Rolan asked.

David took his seat next to his father. "I went to the guest wing to look for Rush, since he skipped breakfast yesterday. I didn't realise he was already here."

"Why did you go yourself? You could have just sent someone." Lord Rolan took the bread basket and passed it to David. David took two rolls whilst someone poured him a glass of juice, which was drunk and immediately refilled.

"My apologies. Good morning everyone."

Almost everyone replied. Rush managed a small smile, wondering if David got the note he wrote last night. He hadn't had time to check if it got delivered. Anyway, it was a surprise that David went to look for him just now. Probably he knew his father wanted Rush there? Maybe he wanted to talk about Rush's note. Maybe he just woke up late and used Rush as an excuse.

Rush stuffed the lasts of the food on his plate into his mouth and wiped it with the napkin. "I er... really need to run..."

Lord Rolan frowned at him.

"I only have a few days to teach the troops the monsters basics. It might really help them and I don't wanna muck this up..."

"Sit down." Lord Rolan gestured for someone to refill Rush's plate. "Assistance from Celapaleis is arriving this morning. Did you think we'd make you do all this on your own?"

"Oh..."

"You put your life in harm's way for David. If we weren't about to go to war I'd treat you to banquets and dances and exotic women - "

"Father," David warned as Emma and Emmy both gave Lord Rolan a sidelong glare.

"You know I'm joking!" Lord Rolan sat back and smirked. "Women would throw themselves at your feet anyway if they knew about your gallantry. Rush, I'm not having you working yourself too hard when you're in my castle!"

Not sure whether he should play along or not - probably not, seeing the deadly looks on the women's faces - Rush decided to ask questions so that he didn't really have to say anything.

"So who are these people from Celapaleis?"

"They are fighters hand-picked by Lord Qubine. Some of them are warriors belonging to the Sword of the Three Realms Guild and some are Celapaleis's agents," said Pagus. "Gladiator-class warriors like you are rare, so I don't think many of them specialise in monsters, but they definitely still know far more than our troops. They're going to follow your instructions."

"If Qubine chose them, then we can use them. That man is beyond cautious. He's suspicious of everything!" Lord Rolan shook his head and laughed as if talking about an old friend.

"Sounds good." Rush smiled. He wasn't going to teach all ten-thousand men who were going to march, since Blocter had already picked about a hundred for him to focus on, but with help they could probably teach a few more and with better success.

"Rush." From across the table, David spoke softly, but his voice carried over well. "Let me know when you leave for the barracks. I will go with you. I need to choose some men to take with me to the aqueducts and I'd like to learn a bit about dealing with fiends as well."

"Sure." It wasn't as if Rush could turn him down. Today was going to be a long day.

When they headed out, a coach was waiting. The roads in the city were always busy and the official coach made sure they got to places at speed. David drew the curtains once they were inside. Rush lamented the loss of the view but people probably would try to look inside the transport bearing the lord's coat of arms, so it might be better this way even if it did mean he and David were now completely alone together.

He put an elbow on a ledge and rested his cheek on a fist when the coach started to move.

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"Huh?"

"I went to your suite last night and you'd already retired to bed."

He came to visit? "I was really knackered. But I've got help now so maybe today'll be better."

"I got your note..."

Rush kept his eyes on the black lacquered interior of the coach rather than its other occupant. "Oh, right. Yeah... sorry, I was a real pain the other night."

"Rush - "

"I've been told before that I don't know when to stop." He glanced at David briefly, flashing him a smile. "And that I try to crash my way through everything like a battering ram. But I'll stop now. What I did was really inappropriate. Sorry."

David seemed exasperated. "Don't apologise. I - "

"Lord David! Rush!"

The coach stopped. Rush peeked out the curtain - they were at the castle gate and Emmy was running towards them. He opened the door.

"Would it be all right for me to join?" She beamed up at the young men. "I'd like to learn a bit about killing fiends too. I didn't ask earlier because I thought I wouldn't be able to finish the morning's tasks in time..."

Rush knew David was staring at him. "Sure, hop on!" He pushed the door open wider and Emmy climbed in, taking a seat opposite Rush and David, saving them from having more difficult conversations. Rush had apologised and made his point, any more time alone would be extra awkward.

"How are you finding Athlum so far?" Emmy was very pretty when she smiled. Well, she was pretty even when she wasn't smiling. But there was something about her that made Rush feel uneasy. Probably because she looked so much like Emma?

"Yeah, it's nice," Rush replied automatically, then thought about it a bit more. "I haven't gone anywhere except the castle and the barracks in the last few days, but I've been here before for family holidays and work. Athlum's a good place."

Emmy was happy to hear that. "Isn't it? I love travelling, but after a while I always want to come home."

"I know the feeling."

"You're from Eulam, right?"

Rush nodded.

"Lord David's spent a few months in Eulam before. I wanted to go too, but couldn't."

"Eulam is a lovely place," said David. "You should take a holiday with Emma there after everything has settled down... it will take a while, but I'll do my best."

The conversation died, Rush and Emmy suddenly lost for words.

"Sorry," Rush said first, followed by Emmy. A war was happening, David was preparing for an ascension that was coming far too soon, and here they were, talking about family holidays.

"No, I am sorry. I didn't mean to kill the atmosphere." David seemed annoyed with himself.

All of a sudden, Rush realised what it was about Emmy that ticked him off. It was the way she looked at David when she talked. "You need to take a holiday, my lord. Of course not so soon, but you should go. And take Torgal with you!"

The suggestion made them all laugh. Rush didn't know what the others were thinking, but in his mind was an image of the sovani wearing a floral-printed shirt, shorts and sunglasses, strolling along a beach.

"Torgal, maybe, but I cannot. Besides, I just came back from a holiday."

"You can't call that a holiday! There were people trying to take your life and you had to use the Gae Bolg!"

"But I still enjoyed the journey," David settled his gaze on Rush and smiled, "thanks to having great companions."

Damn, it was sweet of him to say that. Looking away from David, Rush felt his heart beat a little faster despite having already decided he wasn't going to fall for the guy. This was the David Rush had come to know, not the one who put him in his place two nights ago. But Rush knew better than to fall right back in.

"Heh. Allan's funny, isn't he? Kept us entertained the whole way. And he knows everything and can do everything. Made life so much easier."

"Yes. I have been wondering if there is a way to entice him into working for Athlum."

"You're gonna make Torgal's life hell if you do that."

"Do you think so?" David inclined his head to one side. "I am actually starting to think he enjoys having Allan around."

"Really?" Rush and Emmy asked at the same time.

"I am only guessing. Whatever had come to pass between them, they obviously still care a lot about each other. And to not live with any of your own people for so many years has to be lonely, even if sovanis are rather solitary amongst themselves, do you not think?"

Rush hadn't even thought about it. "Hasn't he got family or anything like that?"

"There is none that I know of," said David. "But not to worry, I certainly will consult him before making Allan any offer. One of the things I learned during the trip is that I mustn't assume to know what's best for others or what they want."

When David smiled at him again, Rush couldn't look away. Scratching his neck, he made a sound of agreement in his throat. Was David referring to what Allan said about Torgal and Rush's decision to ask whether he should come to Athlum, or was he hinting at what Rush did the other night, thinking that he could help David through a particularly difficult time? As put off as Rush was, he still didn't think David would make a nasty hint like that. He wouldn't gain anything and it wasn't as if David had been trying to make Rush feel crappier than he did already. He wasn't that sort of a guy.

Maybe he should talk to David properly. Maybe things weren't how he thought they were and he was being unfair to David. It would've been perfectly normal if David just lost his temper back then and didn't mean what Rush thought he meant...

Hell, now he was defending David in his mind. Been there, done that; get a move on, Rush.

Noticing that Rush wasn't returning his smile, David dropped his own. The coach was pulling to a stop. "I need to talk to you. Could you please give me several minutes before you start your lesson?"

"I er..." Rush opened the door and jumped off the coach rather than use the steps. Emmy followed, wisely moving away a little after detecting the change of tone in her lord's voice.

"It is important." David climbed out.

Was there no way out of this? "Fine."

David relaxed slightly. "There are rooms here in which we can talk in private. I will lead the way."

They had only just set foot inside the reception when Rush suddenly stopped, spotting a familiar splodge of pink in his vision. That couldn't be...

The splodge of pink moved a bit. It was a very short girl and that girl was looking at him. "Rush? RUSH?"

"Khrynia! What are you doing here?"

Khrynia ran towards Rush, stopping just before she collided with him. "When Lord Qubine said we're going to help someone called Rush, I thought about you but didn't really think... oh my God! You're working for Athlum?"

"You work for Qu- I mean Lord Qubine?" Khrynia was a Celapaleis agent? Rush felt faint.

"This is like, amazing!" Khrynia giggled. Then she spotted the people with Rush, or more specifically, David. "Hey there handsome... haven't I seen you before? I remember your pretty face. Aren't you the guy who was with Rush back in Ghor? Do you work for Athlum as well?"

There was no easy way to break this to her, Rush thought. "Khrynia... this is Lord David, son of Lord Rolan of Athlum..."

He counted to five, then Khrynia yelped. "Oh my God!" She actually leaned forward and buried her face in Rush's chest, crumpling up the brim of her huge hat. "Please tell me you're joking. I... I said... didn't I say..."

"There, there. It's okay, nobody took any offence." Rush patted her hat.

"Oh, Rush, kill me now!"

Beside him, David chuckled softly. "It's all right, Khrynia."

"Lord David? Rush?" Emmy looked between her companions. "What did I miss? What did she say?"

Khrynia lifted her face. She looked at Rush, who stared back at her, and then at David.

"Nothing." They all said at the same time.

Emmy was obviously confused, but knew better than to ask again. "Khrynia, is it?" She shook the other girl's hand. "I'm Emmy. It's nice to meet you. You're Rush's friend?"

Grinning, Khrynia did a half twirl, slipping her arm into Rush's. "We're g - "

Rush knew what she was going to say. In a panic, he pulled himself free and covered her mouth with a hand. "Say that and I'll..." Well, it wasn't as if he would hurt her. But he'd probably go and kill himself - so to speak - if she told them they were "girl friends", as she was prone to do. There was a time and place for everything, and the army barracks was definitely not the place to be outed. Rush would forever rue the day he got drunk in front of her after he broke up with his previous boyfriend.

When he was sure the girl understood, he let her go. "We're friends. That's all. Don't believe anything she says, she - ow!" He crouched down, rubbing his shin. "Kick me again and... I'll tell Lord Qubine!"

Hearing that, Khrynia pulled faces at Rush but didn't try to attack him again.

"So where's the rest of your group?" Rush asked. There seemed to be no one else here.

"They've all gone to the cafeteria for drinks."

"I suppose I need to go meet them." Maybe he could just slip away like this?

David stepped forward as Rush started to leave. "Rush." It was difficult to say what his voice sounded like. Upset? Annoyed? Put off?

"I know. But this isn't really the right place to talk," Rush told him, liking the excuse he just came up with. It actually made sense. "We've both got things to get on with, right?"

With a bit of reluctance, David agreed. "We will talk when we get back to the castle."

"Okay."

"I need your word on this."

The girls were staring. David's eyes were boring into him. Rush knew he was trapped. "You have it."

After getting that promise, David finally let him go. The rest of the morning and the afternoon was uneventful. Rush talked to the people from Celapaleis, found out what level of experience they had, then they came up with lesson plans and a rota. The troops were divided up into several classes and taught in turn by each tutor on different things. Finally Rush ended the day with a demonstration and practice session using the monsters he'd caught yesterday evening.

All the while, unlike Emmy, who sat on her own, away from everyone, David sat with the troops and listened. He'd changed into his military uniform, with a jacket in black and dark red, dark red trousers and black boots. He had two cords on his left breast pocket and epaulettes on his shoulders, showing his rank. Sitting with everyone else, he should have blended right in but Rush somehow picked him out straight away.

David looked amazing in that uniform. Rush had a fairly good idea what he was going to dream about tonight.

It wasn't evening yet when the classes were finished for the day, but Rush was ready to collapse onto the nearest piece of furniture. He still wanted to go and catch some monsters, though. Nothing could beat real practice.

"Now I see why you were so tired yesterday," said David after nearly everyone left the yard, save a few who were clearing up the dead monsters. He took a look at Rush and somehow understood his intentions. "Let the others do the work tonight. Go back and rest, or you might get hurt doing what you are trying to teach others to do."

"Yeah, I suppose..." That meant they'd have to talk. It was unavoidable, in the end.

When they left for the coach, Khrynia tried to make Rush go to the shops with her, but Rush felt his excuses were getting old and he was too tired for shopping anyway, so he turned her down.

Rush fell asleep on the coach. He hadn't intended to, but he was tired and the swaying of the transport coaxed him to sleep, and David and Emmy just let him be, only waking him when they reached the castle.

"If I was fighting actual monsters I could do it all day. Talking about it takes brain power," he said, yawning at the same time, not unaware that David's eyes were on him all the while. "So... you wanna talk?"

"Yes." David checked the time, then turned to Emmy. "Could you let someone know I will take dinner to my father, as before? I will only be a little late."

"Of course, my lord." With a suspicious glance at Rush, Emmy left the young men. This must be the advantage of being a lord, or Emmy's very good manners. If this was any of the girls Rush knew, they would be demanding to know what was going on and making a huge fuss about it by now.

He followed David to the reading room he had used the first day they arrived at the castle. The fire had just finished burning and the room was still warm; someone must have been here not long ago. Still in his uniform, David flicked open the buttons on his high collar, then did the same to the shirt underneath, loosening both and exposing his neck. Rush half sat on the small table, trying not to be mesmerised by such small things. His previous boyfriend always said that in another life Rush could be a vampire. Rush never disagreed with him.

"Rush," David began, standing stiffly as if he was an army officer on duty, "I'm sorry about the other night."

Rush didn't move.

"You offered your time and even... I did not only throw your kindness back in your face, I trampled upon it. Having personal problems doesn't give me the right to hurt you, but still, you wrote me that note to keep the peace. In comparison I was completely childish. My behaviour was shameful." David looked at Rush with guarded hope, then smiled emptily when he received no response. "I understand you've been avoiding me and you don't wish to talk to me. It's what I deserve. I just want to make an apology. Now that that is done I shall leave you in peace."

Silence followed, David taking a step back, as if waiting for Rush to walk out of the room. Instead, Rush moved forward.

"What?"

He really wished he could phrase himself better, but that one word summed up his reaction quite well.

"Dave I thought - " oh God, this was going to be stupid to say out loud, "I thought you were mad at me for overstepping the line!"

Looking puzzled, David tilted his head. "I'm sorry - what line?"

"Oh." Rush didn't know how to say "that line that separates casual sleep buddies from proper couples" to the young lord of Athlum who had just poured his heart out apologising to him whilst dressed in a military uniform and standing inside his own castle. Hell, Rush didn't know how to say that to David, Athlum or no Athlum. "Don't worry about that. I just felt shitty about being so in-your-face with something you didn't want. Sorry, really."

"I've never lost my temper before. I didn't know what I was doing." Shaking his head, David looked more irate than relieved. "It was my fault, yet you still wrote me that note..."

"But I really was..." This was getting nowhere. Stuffing his hands inside trouser pockets, Rush hunched his shoulders and rocked back on his heels a little. "Hey. Remember a few days ago you said we need to stop constantly apologising to each other?"

There. That earned him a smile. "Yes."

"Thinking about it, it wasn't that big a deal. You're having a rough time, people shout a bit when that happens. Everybody does it." The knowledge that David never lost his temper before was mind-boggling to Rush. Not even once? Really? "I just went a bit too far on the defensive. We've only known each other for two or three weeks. I didn't know how to react... I guess, well, really, I don't know you well enough."

"Ah... yes." Brushing the hair away from his eyes, David allowed his gaze to soften. His smile was small but it was there. "Sometimes I forget that it hasn't been that long since we first met on the train."

"Lots of things happened and it's been really crazy." Rush didn't know how else to put it. After fighting for their lives and sharing a bed together, it did feel like they were at least old friends, but when he thought about it, he really didn't know David that well. Or maybe he did know Dave on a very personal level but nothing about David, who was the next ruler of Athlum. Whichever way it was, it had been crazy.

Understanding what Rush meant, David nodded.

Rush pulled his hands out and stood still. Some things had to be said with more seriousness and respect. "I'm really sorry about your dad, Dave."

It took David a moment to respond. "It's... not so bad," he said, surprising Rush. "It's better to know it is coming than to lose him suddenly and regret not having spent enough time with him."

Rush didn't know what to say.

"I'm from a family of fighters; not many Nassaus lived to an old age." David's voice was calm. "When I think about it this way, it isn't so bad."

Rush couldn't agree with that completely, but David wasn't seeking his agreement. What he said was only how he was rationalising everything in his mind - an act of self-protection.

"I will be fine, don't worry." David's gaze shifted, looking to the side briefly. His whole stance relaxed and his tone lightened up. "Though, if your offer is still open, I would not say no..."

Rush didn't miss a beat. "Oh yeah, you've still got the beef jerky." When their eyes met, he shrugged and grinned. David snorted. They were okay, now. Rush still didn't know what they were, having done things backwards, but he liked the general direction they were moving towards.

Someone knocked on the door. "My lord?" It was Emmy.

"Yes?" Instead of telling her to come in, David raised his voice.

"Lord Rolan wishes for us all to dine together and asks for your presence at the table."

"I will be there right away." When the sound of footsteps faded, David said to Rush, "before we go, may I ask you something?" He wasn't really going to wait for Rush's permission, though. "Khrynia is..."

The mention of that girl made Rush roll his eyes. With her, he just didn't know if he should laugh or cry. Or maybe he meant strangle her or punch her. "She likes to call me her girl friend. Go figure."

The revelation made David laugh. "I see."

Rush seized his chance. "So, you and Emmy aren't..."

"Emmy?" The suggestion seemed to have surprised and amused David. "She is like a sister to me."

Rush wasn't sure if Emmy felt the same - David was basically completely awesome, after all - but he only needed to know how David felt and he was happy with the answer he got.

"Let's go."

At dinner, Rush sat next to Allan again, and David between his father and Emmy, at the other end of the oval table. Emmy was saying something to David with a lowered voice, and David chuckled.

"Like a sister" - Rush knew what that meant. It ruled out any chance of a possible relationship, like what Torgal had said about Imogen. He could watch those two without feeling even a tinge of jealousy.

"Hn. You do remind me of him."

It took a moment for Rush to realise Allan was talking to him. "What?"

"That mitra woman is a beauty, but do you really need to drool?"

"I'm not drooling." Well, he was staring a bit blatantly, perhaps. "'sides, it's not her I'm looking at."

Frowning, Allan followed Rush's gaze again, trying to figure out what he meant. After nearly a minute, he put his knife and fork down and just sat there.

"Allan?" Rush asked when Allan pushed his chair back and stood.

"Nothing to do with you," he told Rush. "I'm not hungry."

The chatter died down when everyone noticed Allan leaving the table. Rush shrugged. "He said he isn't hungry."

"I guess it is hard to enjoy the company of people when your son is in danger... given that he doesn't seem to enjoy the company of people to begin with..."

Watching the servants close the door behind Allan, Rush wondered if Pagus was right. He didn't think so; his mind was telling him something else but, oh God, please let him be wrong.


	12. Chapter 12

When Emma came into the room, David gestured for her not to speak, because he knew she had come to check on Allan.

They were all poring over the information Allan got from the Steel Syndicate. David did not know how the syndicate came into possession of the construction drawings of Nagapur's aqueducts - probably not by legal means - but he did not ask. The information was received last night and this was the first time David had a chance to look at them. He was still in his uniform, but he had removed the jacket and hung it on the back of a chair; tonight was going to be a long night.

Emma stepped outside briefly. David vaguely heard her getting someone to bring them tea and biscuits. When she returned with the tray, the room was still silent, with Allan, Torgal and David reviewing the drawings individually for the time being. When Emma poured tea and passed it to Allan, he passed it to Torgal, ignoring the looks of surprise from everyone. Or perhaps he didn't realise since he did not look up.

After making sure everyone got a cup of tea, Emma left them alone. She had her own work to do.

"You guys ever thought about putting up some signs? I got lost again!" The door clicked open. The relief was almost audible as Rush came in and easily broke the tense atmosphere. He was wearing different clothes from earlier on in the day and his hair looked a bit wet. He must have returned to his suite for a shower rather than lost his way. "How's it going?"

Torgal looked up. "There is only one formal entrance into the aqueducts, from Nordenalm." He looked through the drawings, pulled one out from the pile that showed the whole of the aqueducts and laid it on top, a finger pointing at the entrance he was referring to. "It leads to the central sluiceway. To its northeast is the east waterway control, with the abandoned west control opposite. From here, it goes north to the third channel - the first and second have both collapsed a century ago and are supposedly not accessible."

"Uh huh." Rush looked at the drawing, nodding. "Does this go anywhere?" He pointed at a corridor to the north of the central sluiceway, at the edge of the drawing. "Looks like it should go somewhere."

Allan got hold of a different drawing and pushed it at Rush's direction. It said "disposal tank" and had the word CONFIDENTIAL stamped across it. There was an unlabelled exit on the east side. Before Rush asked, Torgal pulled out a map of Nagapur's city centre.

"Checking its coordinates against the map," he said, "that exit is located under Wyrmskeep."

Rush breathed in sharply.

"My lord, may I share my thoughts so far?"

David glanced at Rush briefly. He had thought about this and decided Rush shouldn't be here, but he wanted to listen to Torgal now. "Go on."

Torgal nodded. "The aqueducts are mostly linear and the walkable areas are around ten metres wide. There will be no point in separating into groups to conduct the search. It will be a case of storming into the area and fighting our way through. If Allan's child is there we will definitely encounter him. I suggest taking no more than twenty men with us. We can take another hundred but only for the castle assault after the rescue."

Whilst David considered this, Rush asked, "why so few people for the aqueducts?"

"The space is too small. A larger group puts us at an disadvantage, especially because Allan and I fight better with more room."

"And that number of people is already a large enough group to raise suspicions when entering Nagapur. We need to send some of the men on their way now. As for the three of us, our faces are known. We need to find a way to get into Nagapur," David said.

"Siebenbur," said Allan and Torgal at the same time. They exchanged a look, and Torgal explained, "we have mapped out all seven paths of Siebenbur many years ago. We can use that to enter Nagapur."

There was much more to Torgal than what met the eye - David always knew this. But no one had ever been known to manage to visit all the Siebenbur paths, much less map them out. No one even knew how many paths there were and how they all connected.

Rush expressed the shock that David also felt. "You guys mapped out all the Siebenbur paths? Seriously? Seven paths? People've only found three!"

Torgal spoke as if that was not a special achievement. "They were all monster-infested, however."

"They are exactly as they were eighty years ago," Allan pointed out, contributing to the conversation for the first time tonight. "Rush, are you coming with us or not?"

"Well I've always assumed I am..."

All eyes fell on David, who knew the question would come up at some point, fiends or no fiends.

"I cannot express how much it means to me that you wish to offer your blade, but no, Rush. I cannot allow you to take part in this. I'm sorry."

Perhaps it wasn't the response any of them was expecting. David saw Rush's eyes turn cold, and it felt like what he had done earlier, cornering Rush until he got that chance to apologise, had been in vain. Rush probably wasn't going to forgive him for this.

"Why?"

"You know the reasons." David tried his best, but he knew he still sounded standoffish and arrogant.

"This is about me never having killed anyone, right?"

"That, and the fact that you are not from Athlum. This is not your battle."

Rush's form stiffened. "As far as I know this whole thing isn't just about Athlum. And I will kill if that's what I need to do!"

"This is war. You won't be able to select your opponent." David heard his voice getting unsteady. It wasn't that he was losing patience or getting angry, it was the emotion of having to talk about such things with someone he felt so much for, and having to turn him down on what he clearly wanted to do very much despite the dangers. "Even if you are willing to kill, you _will_ hesitate in that split second when everything matters and you _will_ lose your life. I will not allow you to do this knowing that your death will be certain."

If Rush would hate him for saying this then so be it. It was better for Rush to live and hate him than for he to stand before Rush's grave and not able to look at Rush's family in the eye.

They held each other's gaze for a while. Rush was the first to look away and, without another word, he walked back a step, then turned, heading for the door.

"Rush, forgive me."

"It's fine." His hand on the door, Rush turned his head and smile at David. "It's hard to stomach but... I know you're doing this for me. I'll be alright."

Rush left, and silence took his place. After a moment, Allan scowled. "We'll replace him with someone from Celapaleis."

David, realising that he had once again underestimated Rush's forgiveness, and somewhat surprised that Rush gave up with hardly a fight, just nodded.

They resumed their discussion, making plans for the other thing they would do in Nagapur - take Hermeien's head. If they failed, it would be impossible to retreat, so this was a succeed-or-die-trying mission. David had the confidence he would be successful. Whether or not he could return before his father uses the Gae Bolg, however, he did not know. Plans were in place and had been reviewed for more times than he could count, but battlefields were ever-changing; there could be any number of reasons for his father to choose to use the Gae Bolg early.

If young Torgal's conditions permitted, Allan would go with them to Wyrmskeep to issue his own vengeance on Hermeien. If he disagreed with David's decision to take Rush out of the group, he didn't show it. In fact, he said very little during the night and agreed with most of Torgal's suggestions. It didn't seem like something had happened between them in the afternoon, because Torgal looked just as surprised, but David didn't ask, nor did he know how to. Whatever Allan knew, he discovered or realised on his own.

It was two hours before sunrise when Emma reappeared and swiftly kicked everyone out, cursing how men were all the same no matter what race or age they were. The men refrained from pointing out that Emma had clearly stayed up late as well.

David intended to rise early the next day for some private time with Rush before the world crowded itself into his life again, with plans and strategies from last night to finalise and an execution in the evening, but by the time he woke from a fitful sleep it was already past breakfast hour. Someone must have told the others to let him sleep. Annoyed yet grateful at the same time, David sought Rush out, half-expecting he to already be on his way to the barracks but finding him in the audience chamber instead, with his father and a few unfamiliar faces.

"David!" His father waved him over.

"Lord father," David greeted. "I'm sorry for my absence this morning..."

"It's all right. Emma told me about it. Come and meet Rush's family. This is John and Marina. And the little one is Irina."

"It is a pleasure to meet you all." Why was Rush's family here? When were they invited and why didn't he know about this? "It is thanks to Rush that I can stand here today. There are no words that can express my gratitude enough."

Pleasantries were exchanged. Rush's family seemed to be very decent people. A close-knit family who understood one another very well, they were not at all surprised when they were told of what Rush had done.

Lord Rolan told David "the ceremony" would take place in an hour. David had no idea what ceremony was being referred to - it could not possibly be the execution in the evening - but he didn't want to look totally ignorant in front of all these people so he nodded and later on located Pagus to get the details.

"I thought you would have been the first to know!" Pagus looked up at his lord, wide-eyed. "The boy changed his mind about receiving the knighthood. It was decided the ceremony should take place before we march, which doesn't leave us many dates to choose from."

David covered his mouth with a hand. Had he been preempted? Rush couldn't possibly be doing this so that he could take part in the war, could he? Had he already guessed David's position on the matter before the discussion last night?

"My lord? Are you all right?"

"Yes..." David's hand lowered slowly. "Where is he now?"

"Catching up with his family, presumably."

He didn't get to speak to Rush before the ceremony, a solemn affair without any extravagance. Not an Athlumian, Rush was not required to pledge his service, but he did it, swearing his loyalty to Lord David Nassau, letting his lips touch the tip of David's blade as he did so. Knowing what the future held for Lord Rolan and because of what Rush had done for David, he was to be appointed David's knight.

Holding out his sword, the Valeria Heart, and watching Rush bend knee to it, made David's mind whirl. How had they come to this? Not three weeks ago, he was on a train and a young man came to his cabin because someone who smelled bad was in the cabin where he originally sat. Now the young man was in front of him and swearing his blade to him. This was lunacy.

"Rise, Rush Sykes."

"Yes, my lord."

But even this did not mean he would definitely leave with David or march with the army, because David could still deny him the opportunity. If this was Rush's way to show his conviction, then David would show him his, as well.

The ceremony was over. David took Rush out to the gallery, where Torgal made the official announcement to the public gathered outside that Rush Sykes, of Eulam Island, had been appointed a Knight of Athlum for the aid he had provided Lord David in the direst of situations along with one other, who wished not to be named.

Cheers erupted from the crowd, but David could not share that joy. When the whole thing drew to a close, he took Rush to the reading room.

As soon as the door was shut, he spun around, eyes boring into Rush's. "Have you lost your mind?"

"I knew you wouldn't let me go with you." Rush put a hand on his hip. "People change and grow up. This isn't just about you. I want to defend what's right. It's what I want to do with my life."

"Is what you want to do with your life to throw it away?" David wanted to scream. Few people and events had ever made him feel this way but lately it was happening more and more often. Rush was too good at making him feel helpless.

"Dave," Rush took a step closer, "I'm not stupid, okay? I've thought really hard about this and I've talked to my family as well. If I think I can't do it then I wouldn't have signed myself up... you look like you want to hit me."

Realising that he was clenching his fists, David forced himself to relax, feeling pain where his fingernails dug into his palms. "I would if I could beat some sense into that thick skull of yours," he said, shaking his head and laughing sadly at the way Rush still managed to find humour in such a situation. "My knight or not," gosh, his knight. Rush was his _knight_ , "I will not permit you to go to Nagapur with me or march with my father."

"I know," said Rush. "But I'll prove to you I'm ready for this. I'll make you change your mind."

"Nothing will change my mind."

"We'll see."

Shaking his head, David left Rush and resumed his work with Torgal and Allan, concentrating on how they would take Wyrmskeep. The layout of Wyrmskeep was a subject thoroughly researched as a collaborative effort by Athlum, Celapaleis and Ghor. Spies sent by Celapaleis had confirmed that Hermeien was residing in the castle, with no plans to venture out for the duration of the battles with Ghor.

They had until tonight to finalise all plans, and then they had to brief the troops tomorrow. In the initial plans drawn up several years ago, Athlum and Celapaleis were going to march together, with divisions of troops breaking away from the main group to take Nagapur before Hermeien could react. This was no longer possible without Celapaleis, which had taken over the role of defence and creating diversions and panic using its navy. With the excuse that logistics wasn't his strength and that he knew nothing about weapons of war, Allan took a back seat and let Torgal advice David on the types of siege weapons that could be taken down Siebenbur, in case the two agents inside the castle were not able to open the gates for them. Such a method of castle siege was far from glorious, and it may even be seen as dishonourable, but that was something for history to decide. David wasn't doing this in order to be hailed as a hero.

When they finished, it was surprisingly early still. The long nights had paid off; they could have the rest of the day to themselves after the execution at sunset.

There were three types of crime that were punishable by death in Athlum: rape, murder and treason. Athlum's executioner was the bearer of the Valeria Heart, a sword which was passed to David on the day he came of age, a sword which he loved for its beauty and hated for its constant reminder that the work to eliminate evil would never be complete.

Perhaps there was such a thing as necessary evil. David did not feel he had had enough life experience to allow him to deny this. But as he took the steps down to the dungeon which held the man who poisoned his father, as his heart grew colder, he knew the evil he was about to face had no place in Athlum, or anywhere at all.

The trial had taken place before David's return to Athlum, but this was the first time he laid eyes on the man. On the other side of the bars, the man's hands and feet were bound, his mouth gagged. He sat in the back of his cell, leaning against the stone wall. When he heard footsteps, he lifted his face. David observed him. At the public hearing this man did not deny his attempt to poison Lord Rolan, nor did he show any regret.

Looking at him, minutes before he would give him his death, David felt despair. He would enjoy killing this man. David knew he would love the feeling of his blade slicing through flesh, tendons and bones, the sound of the head landing on the floor and rolling.

David also knew he must never, ever enjoy the act of killing, even if it was someone who poisoned his father. The moment he felt joy through killing would be the beginning of a downward spiral; many great men had become beasts this way.

As if he sensed David's emotional changes, the man grinned at him.

"Take him out," David told the guards.

The execution was to take place on a platform in front of the castle, built specifically for this purpose. Lord Rolan, the Generals, Rush and even Allan were there. Rush's family had gone home long ago, with work to get on with and a house-build to manage.

The crowds, unlike those which gathered for Rush this morning, jeered and shouted insults when the man they came to see appeared, led by guards and made to kneel at the centre of the platform. Someone - David didn't see who - read out the name of the man, which he didn't hear, the guilty verdict of treason against the country, and the execution sentence.

Most of the talking was muted by the sound of blood rushing in David's ears and the pounding of his heart. He had killed many people in his life but never had he felt this way before, not even the first time he killed someone in battle.

His father came to stand beside him, as did Rush.

"Dave, your sword."

His head spinning, David let Rush take Valeria Heart from him. But it wasn't until Rush walked to the centre of the platform with it that David realised what was happening.

Valeria Heart was raised, then brought down swiftly, drawing a silver arc against the red sky.

The man's head rolled on the platform.

Rush's footsteps were light but solid. He walked back to David and gave him back his sword. As David's knight, he was allowed to execute criminals with the Lord's permission. And perhaps this was the right thing to do for a new knight, to cement his pledge of service and gain the people's confidence in him. But this should not have been Rush's job. Rush should not have stained his hands this way.

"That should have been my duty," David muttered with a voice so low only those standing near him could hear.

"Your duty is to protect this country, not necessarily to kill."

But how about his duty as his father's son?

"Rush is right, vengeance gets you nowhere. What you need to do is move forward." Lord Rolan said then, putting a hand on David's shoulder, "I'm proud of you. You realised you couldn't do this without tainting your heart. You stand tall where many great men had fallen."

"Father..."

The man's body and severed head were taken away. David felt a nudge.

"Let's go back inside. The crowd might enjoy watching the feeding to the beasts, but dinner is waiting and I don't want my appetite ruined."

Dinner followed straight after the execution. Allan did not join them for the meal. Having never developed mitras' taste for dessert, Torgal excused himself from the table after the main course. David wondered if he was going to check on Allan.

Lord Rolan seemed to be in great spirits and would not allow his son to leave the table sober, little did he know that years of drinking with Emma had helped David develop an impressive tolerance for alcohol. David allowed himself to enjoy drinking with his father, knowing time was running short for them.

Two hours after dessert, Lord Rolan admitted defeat. "You know you're old when your son can out-drink you!"

He allowed the servants to take him back to his chambers. David followed behind, said goodnight and then went to the guest wing, but Rush was nowhere to be found.

"He still lives, I can feel it. I rather wonder what has become of his captors - he has your name but not your patience." A short laugh. "Nor your wisdom, come to think of it. I haven't done well with his upbringing."

David stopped when he heard voices. For a while he couldn't work out where they came from, so vast and complicated were the corridors and footpaths of this castle that sounds often echoed in strange ways.

"Bringing up a child on your own is not an easy task, especially for our race."

"You speak from experience? Have you any children?"

"No..."

"And you haven't taken a wife all these years?"

"I have not the time."

Finally identifying the direction where Allan and Torgal's voices came from, David went the opposite way, trying to do the right thing even though curiosity burned in his chest. He ended up at the inner garden, where he spotted Emma tending to the flowers.

"Lord David," Emma stood and greeted when he approached, studying his face with a wry smile. "You are looking for Rush?"

There was no point in denying, so David nodded.

"He went with Pagus to the library, saying that he wants to learn more about his duties as your knight. You'd think he would have done that before accepting the knighthood."

"We seem to often do things backwards," said David. Rush's learning of his new duties, the way their relationship developed, and even how he dealt his father death before they had any opportunity to treat one another as family - the order of everything in their lives right now seemed to be in reverse.

Emma didn't look like she knew what David was referring to, but she also had other things on her mind. "I'd like to go and see if Allan has had something to eat. By your leave..." she brushed her hands together, shaking soil away.

"He and Torgal are at the west side. I saw them on my way here."

"I see. Perhaps I should wait, then."

"I'm not sure about what to do; they could choose to talk somewhere more private, yet they do not, even though it doesn't feel right to walk into their conversation," said David, thinking of that time in the village when Allan erupted in front of Torgal until Torgal eventually walked out. David had been in the same room all that time, recuperating after using the Gae Bolg.

"I believe Torgal is avoiding having to talk in private, my lord."

David had the same feeling. He recalled what he heard earlier. "If Torgal continues to serve Athlum, he will continue to be alone." Sovanis were a reclusive race; as long as Torgal lived in the public eye he would never be able to find a partner.

"That is his choice."

"It may be. But just now I heard him say to Allan that he does not have the time to search for a wife."

At that, Emma actually chuckled. "Oldest trick in the book." When David looked confused, she explained, "you might never have been turned down for a date, but have you never said the same thing to turn people down when you are in fact not interested?"

David thought about it. "Ah, I see."

"People have different ambitions and ideals. For Torgal perhaps life is about something else."

Then what was it about?

Emma looked past his shoulder. "There he is. I guess Pagus has finally let him go." Rush was coming over. She eyed her lord. "I guess I won't need to check that the two of you go to bed on time tonight."

There was no reason for David to feel embarrassed, but his face reddened anyway. "Emma!"

"If this was a century ago, both you and Rush would have been executed whether your love was reciprocated or not - to love or be loved by one of your own sex was socially and morally unacceptable," she said, taking her leave. "But the times are different now. I am happy for you, Lord David, truly. Please do not only treasure your love, but also treasure the freedom to love."

David watched her leave, nodding to Rush as they passed each other. He waved at her, fingers wriggling in the air.

She meant... did she mean...

Allan must have already realised, hence his subdued behaviour since yesterday.

It was none of David's business but he felt his heart break, just the same.


	13. Chapter 13

Keeping the knighthood thing from David was difficult - like David said before, lying was not in Rush's nature - but the effort paid off. Now he just had to convince David to let him go to Nagapur. He could do it. He was the one who never knew when to stop and went at everything like a battering ram, after all. He'd already proven that he could kill. If he could execute someone who was kneeling and defenceless, then he would not hesitate in front of people who were armed and ready to kill. He just had to get the point across to David.

David was in the garden of the guest wing. It looked like Emma had just finished talking with him, and Rush waved at her as she made her way out and he in.

"Hey..." Rush began, then saw the look on David's face, "something wrong?"

David shook his head. "You killed my father's poisoner today."

That was quick and straight to the point. "Yeah."

"You stained your hands for me."

"Oh come on, not this sort of talk." Rush jabbed a thumb at his own chest, walking closer. "What's inside here is clean as a whistle. You can do it and so can I. What makes you so different from me? I mean, apart from the blond hair?"

David seemed both amused and annoyed. "Are you going to do this every time I try to talk to you about serious matters?"

"I'm serious as well." Rush cocked his head, wondering what he could do to ease that frown between David's brows. "You might have to kill, sometimes, but that isn't your _job_. Stop thinking like everything in the world's your responsibility. You've got all these people to help you. You've got me. I want the same thing you do. And you saw me today."

"Yes." David's head dipped for a moment. "You did not hesitate. It was superbly done."

"So what's the problem?"

Taking a few moments, David considered the question carefully. "I don't know," he admitted finally, relaxing a little, "you're just a peculiar character to deal with."

"Yeah? So I'm the problem, not you, is that what you're saying?" Rush smirked, putting a hand on his hip.

"As my knight, you have the duty to take the blame for my shortcomings."

That was such a lie. "I don't remember reading about that..." What was David doing? Why was he suddenly coming closer and...

Rush barely had time to react before David held him and he was kissed. He didn't resist - he had been thinking about this every other minute in the last few days and David really was so damn good at it, using just the right amount of pressure, sliding his tongue inside Rush's mouth and...

Oh, damn. "W-wait." Rush pulled himself back, pushing David away at the same time. "People'll see us here."

David's calm response took him by surprise. "Does that bother you?"

"I thought it might bother you."

"In the old times, this was something that could have got us both executed. Now, it is part of our freedom." David leaned in again and kissed Rush briefly. "And your duty as my knight."

Rush grinned. He liked the way David thought. He liked everything they were doing to each other, in fact. But it was about time he took the initiative instead of let David lead.

Given the way they were already pressed together, it was unlikely for David to reject the offer, but Rush still felt a little nervous when he whispered in David's ear. "My room?"

As soon as he felt David's nod, Rush led the way, the two of them walking briskly towards the guest suites. Allan was still there, in the same place Rush saw him when he came in, but Torgal seemed to have left. It didn't seem like Allan heard them, but even if he did Rush didn't really care since David obviously didn't. They got to the door, Rush fumbled a bit with his key, then they were inside.

The guest suite was by no means large compared with the lords' chambers, but it was still huge by anyone's standards and Rush had hardly used any part of it apart from the bathroom and the bedroom, which seemed to be further away than Rush remembered it was. Somehow they got there, Rush closed the door and locked it even though there was no reason anybody would come in, kicking off his shoes at the same time. David did the same, pulling off his jacket as well.

They stood there and looked at each other for a moment. First times were always a bit strange, but also incredibly exciting. David was the first to move, sitting on the bed and waiting. Rush joined him, hands working on David's clothes right away and mouth latched onto the neck, moving down as he revealed more and more of David's skin, eyes feasting on the body revealed to him. Holy shit. Hot damn. How had he managed to get someone like David in bed with him? He wanted to kiss David from his mouth down to his feet and all the way back up again.

"What is it?" David's eyes followed Rush's, trying to see what he was seeing. "Rush?" He asked when he didn't get an answer.

"Um. Trying to come up with a better way to say 'you should get naked more often.'" He breathed in when David pushed, tipping their balance and pinning him on the bed. Hands worked at a feverish pace; Rush had never been undressed this quickly in his life. "Because... ah..." There were lips on his chest, tongue playing with his nipple, hands all over him, and he didn't want to talk any more.

The rest of what they were wearing were unfastened, pulled off, tossed aside. Rush managed to regain some control by rolling them onto their sides. Their legs tangled together, hips rubbing against each other as they kissed again, the occasional gasp and moan escaping from their mouths. Snaking a hand between them, Rush broke the kiss so that he could concentrate on pumping David to full hardness.

"I guess this is a good time to ask..." he shuddered when he felt a hand on his erection, a thumb stroking the tip. It had been too long since he last did this, his body was craving for David now. "...do you want to be top or bottom? I can do either... I don't mind..."

"I was hoping you know what I'm doing," David started, then stopped Rush's hand, his face flushed. The timbre of his voice sent shivers down Rush's spine. "Because I don't."

Did he mean... "You haven't done this before?"

"Not with a man."

No way.

"Okay." Better for David go on top, then. Rush got off the bed for a brief moment and got a small bottle of oil. He showed David what to do, although David seemed to understand the idea already. He laid himself on top of Rush, pushed a slick finger inside, freezing when he felt Rush tense up. But Rush told him to carry on, and soon he was breathing hard, his body remembering how good this was going to feel. That finger had found somewhere that felt amazing, but Rush didn't think he could last much longer if this kept up.

Seeing David's face and the way those hips were rubbing against him, it seemed like neither of them could wait now. "Dave. Go for it."

They started off slow and cautious, but soon Rush's reactions were enough to get David to stop worrying about whether he was doing it right or not. Arms pinned to either side of his head, feeling David pounding into him, Rush knew David must be one of those annoying people who was just naturally good at everything. He usually didn't like those people, but with David pushing himself inside him, his face losing the usual guardedness and coming alive with pleasure instead, Rush knew this would be an exception. Small whimpers escaped his lips, his entire body ached with pleasure and want, rocking with each movement.

Finally he got to pull a hand free - he had to ask nicely and David smirked at him - and got to stroke himself. Everything was getting jumbled in his head now, all his senses narrowing to one point. He almost didn't hear David talking to him.

"Rush..." The hips slowed, each stroke becoming long and deep. David's voice trembled. "I'm getting there. Should I..."

"Inside... do it... don't you dare take it out now..."

As soon as Rush said that, the pace picked up once more, becoming frantic. David moaned quietly when he reached his release, his arms slipping around the body under him and holding tight. Rush came later, still pinned to the bed, hardly able to move but having no complaints about it.

David collapsed completely on top of Rush. Later they would have to move if they were to sleep comfortably, but for now, this was nice. Rush hummed in his throat. "Did you like that, my lord?"

David was barely able to hold back his chortle. "You are my knight. Can you not tell?"

"Item 87 of The Knight's Handbook: be psychically linked to your lord - check. Item 88: have a good time with your lord in bed - check. Yup I think we're okay."

This time David laughed out loud.

Rush waited until they both settled down and relaxed, then turned his head and kissed David on the neck. "I'm going to Nagapur with you."

He could feel David's heartbeat against his chest, calm and strong.

"All right."

They did it once more in the early morning, with Rush waking to the feeling of hot breath on his neck and a hand travelling across his chest. When David realised he had woken Rush, he turned away and buried his face in the pillow, embarrassed, before asking Rush if he may have him again. No one had ever asked Rush like that before; sex was sex and it had always been "you wanna?" rather than "may I please?". Rush couldn't say no to him, nor did he want to. For their second time, they were not as over-excited and they managed to take their time. And as _womantic_ as it sounded, when David finally took him Rush felt like he was being made love to. Heck, it didn't just feel like it, he knew it was.

It was the usual chatter at breakfast. Nobody said anything that was different or strange, but Rush wondered how long it would take for the whole castle to know. By now the lady who collected his laundry must have noticed the bedding he'd thrown in the basket, and there were the servants who saw him and David coming out of the suite together first thing in the morning. Word would probably get around by the afternoon. Rush didn't mind. He was rather pleased, in fact. Like David said last night, this was their freedom.

Freedom others didn't have in the past.

The more he observed, the surer he was about what Allan must have realised two days ago at the dinner table. God, he didn't want to know what it'd feel like to be Allan right now.

The four of them - Rush, David, Torgal and Allan - took the coach together to the barracks, where they were to spend the day with David's division briefing them on Siebenbur, the aqueducts and the dragon castle of Nagapur, Wyrmskeep. It was the first time Rush got to listen to the plan in full and the amount of details involved, not just on the fighting but also the logistics, was frightening.

The presence of a certain person in pink was frightening, too. When they broke for lunch, Rush picked up a tray and went to queue behind Khrynia.

"What're you doing here?"

Her smile was sweet. "I'm going with you guys to kill Hermeien."

If this was two weeks ago, Rush would have had a heart attack. But in the past few days he had seen her work with the troops and knew she would be a great asset.

"I just got the phone call from the sovani General like, yesterday, but I was sorta expecting it? Coz I know the two people from Celapaleis working inside Wyrmskeep, see?"

"Right." Rush pushed his tray along as the queue for food moved up. "I kinda just got on this last night as well. Before, I was going to stay in Athlum."

"You're his lord's knight! Of course you've gotta go!"

"It's complicated," said Rush, "but yeah, I'm going."

After getting their food, Rush looked around the canteen: David was sitting with the soldiers, his table already full, and Allan was sitting on his own and Torgal just about to join him. Rush picked a table that still had a few seats left and did some mingling over lunch. Everyone already knew about him because of the knighthood so it was up to him to learn about the people he would be spending a lot of time with from now on.

"You know," Khrynia said to him afterwards, "you're totally like a girl making your way into your new boyfriend's circle of mates."

"It's my job!"

"I'm only teasing... why are you blushing? Rush?" She leaned closer and lowered her voice. "You like him?"

Telling her anything would be a bad idea. Rush wasn't sure why he thought this, but he did. Although, really thinking about it, it wasn't as if Khrynia ever did anything disastrous. She had a big mouth but to Rush's memory she had never done anything truly terrible apart from wear clothes that hurt the eyes to look at. And if David didn't mind people knowing, then... "Actually, we're - "

"Rush and I," all of a sudden David was right behind them, hands behind his back and leaning forward a little. He was smiling, "are together."

"Lord David!" Khrynia jumped. Rush couldn't tell if it was the fact that David was there or what he said that caused so much surprise.

"I have no intention for it to remain a secret, but please keep the knowledge to yourself for now lest it distracts the troops; the barracks is not a place to discuss personal relationships."

Khrynia was obviously completely charmed. "Of course, Lord David! Totally!"

"Thank you. The briefing will resume shortly, don't be late."

"Yes!"

David walked on ahead. Rush watched him, feeling a buzz in his head because of the way David said what he just said so openly. That was awesome.

It took a while for Khrynia to start talking again. "That was so cute! His smile! You guys are together!"

"Yeah." Rush couldn't hide his own smile.

"And you're his knight... aww, this is so romantic!" She had a dreamy look on her face that was soon replaced by one of playfulness, the one look Rush was always wary of. "So, like... is he blond everywhere?"

The meaning of the question only registered after long seconds passed. Rush thought of that fine line of hair that went down from David's navel. "I'm not telling you anything."

"Aww, you're blushing again!"

"One more word from you and I'll - "

"He's good to you, right? Not like that godawful guy from before?"

He paused. She sounded serious. "Yeah. He's real good to me."

"That's great!" She clasped her hands together. "He better stay that way. If he's mean to you, well nobody messes around with my girl friends and gets away with it, not even the Lord of Athlum!"

"Khrynia!"

She laughed and ran away from him.

It was late by the time everyone returned to the castle. As soon as Rush stepped inside the keep, he received a summon from Lord Rolan. Seeing the way a lot of people were eyeing him strangely, either with a smile or an undecipherable expression on their faces, word probably had got around already. After exchanging a look with David and swallowing hard, Rush followed the messenger to the library.

Lord Rolan, dressed more casually than Rush had ever seen him, was browsing the shelves. Rush stepped inside, heard the door close behind him, and swallowed again. He didn't regret sleeping with David, nor did he think it was wrong, but he should have thought harder first. The last thing David and Lord Rolan needed right now was disharmony.

"Relax, Rush. Come over here."

Rush dragged himself over. Lord Rolan eyed him with an expression that seemed to be crossed between amusement and bemusement.

"I heard an interesting rumour today."

Better to stick to his one quality - being honest. That was the only thing Rush could do, really. If he couldn't keep secrets from David, there was no way he could keep them from Lord Rolan. "If you're talking about Dave and me, it's not a rumour."

Lord Rolan frowned, turning around to face Rush fully. It didn't look like a frown of disapproval, though. "You're courting my son at the most crucial time of his life so far. Everything about you will be scrutinised, picked apart and judged by the people of this country. Tell me, Rush Sykes, are you a very brave man or are you just incredibly stupid?"

Be honest. Be honest even if it was scary. "I don't know. That's up to other people to decide. But if I must have a reason, then I guess it's because I like him," said Rush, who then dipped his head and muttered, "and also because I'm stupid and didn't think about how it might make you angry and hurt his reputation."

"'Hurt'? Do you not mean 'ruin'?"

Rush's face snapped up, his eyes wide. He was about to exclaim "no way" in terror, but then he saw the man's grin.

"That was a good answer. Just as David said, you wear your heart on your sleeve," Lord Rolan concluded. "We don't get many like you in this castle. I don't mean that the people who work for Athlum are dishonest, but we are bound by rules, formality and the need to always put the country first."

"If what I'm doing is upsetting the balance, I'm sorry."

"No. And don't worry about David's reputation and whatnot - it's all a public relations exercise and we are very good at it. This isn't a talk where I tell you you're welcomed or not welcomed under my roof. I've spent my life working, and neglected David. I have no right to judge him or question his decisions, especially if those decisions make him happy." Lord Rolan inclined his head to one side the way David often did. "That said, it's easy to see you're exactly who you present yourself to be. I don't worry about your being here, David's companion or not."

So was he being judged or not? Rush couldn't tell.

"I'm being inconsistent." There was a sigh. It was as if Lord Rolan heard Rush's thoughts. "Parents are like that."

Rush smiled.

"I just felt I should talk to you, that's all. When I see my wife later on she can't scold me for not knowing what kind of person our son is dating."

"Right." Rush laughed a little, not entirely easily.

"Then, take care of yourself."

That was his cue to go, but Rush didn't leave right away.

"You know, what you said about not having a right to question Dave's decisions... I don't think it's about rights. You're his dad and you care about him. Rather than saying you haven't got the right to ask, I reckon it'll mean more to him if you tell him you've thought about it. It really will."

Lord Rolan mused over this for a long while, his eyes becoming unfocused. Rush realised David looked a lot like his father when he was deep in thought.

After some time, Lord Rolan spoke again. "Care about his affairs but not meddle with it."

"Exactly. That's what you're already doing, and I bet that's what you've always done. So why not let him know?"

Lord Rolan snorted. "Not even Emma would so directly advise me on how to talk to my son. But you're right. I will tell him that." He turned more solemn. "Finally I can do something right as a father."

He held out his hand. Rush shook it.

"Thank you, Rush."

"It's an honour, my lord."

Rush didn't know what exactly he meant, himself. It was a multitude of things. Being allowed to stand here and talk to a great man like Lord Rolan, first and foremost. Being given the opportunity to serve Athlum just because he helped David and, in turn, being able to overcome his fears and do something he had always wanted to do with his life. What he did since he met David on the train was only the right thing and he didn't deserve to be rewarded, yet it had given him so many opportunities. If it wasn't an honour, and his dumb luck, Rush didn't know what it was.

After dinner, which the two lords ate privately and Rush had with the Generals, Emmy and Allan, Rush called home. He couldn't tell his family what exactly his tasks were, but Athlum had made it no secret that they were going to march, so he told them he was going to war. It wasn't as if they weren't expecting this the moment he told them he was working for Athlum's army, and Rush was confident about their victory even though he knew nothing about real warfare. Perhaps it was because of the way David briefed everyone, exuding confidence with every word and gesture. Perhaps it was his faith in the army that had protected his homeland time and again. Perhaps it was because he believed justice would prevail. In any case, he told his family not to worry, because he wasn't worried himself.

The only thing he was worried about was how David would hold up in the time to come. Their division was to depart secretly after Lord Rolan led the troops out tomorrow, making it look like he was leaving Athlum to his son. There wasn't much time left for David and his father to spend together, and it was anyone's guess if they could find Allan's son, take Wyrmskeep and return before Lord Rolan used his final Gae Bolg.

Later in the night, Rush wandered around in the castle, unable to sleep but not wanting to disturb anyone who were managing to rest. One of the servants found it prudent to tell Rush that Lord David had left Lord Rolan's chambers, in case Rush was looking for him.

But it was Emmy, not David, who Rush eventually ran into. Back in the guest wing, she was reading under the light of a gas lamp in the central garden. Rush recognised the note book as the one she had been writing in for the last few days as she chased the two Lords and the Generals around, learning as much as she could about what she had to do as Athlum's custodian. There was far too much to handle and nobody could spare enough time to talk to her, and the stress was starting to show, yet she was gritting her teeth and carrying on without a single word of complaint.

"Hey," Rush greeted as he neared her, "not going to sleep yet?"

"I'll go soon." She looked up from her note book. "Are you looking for Lord David? He might be drinking with my mother in the reading room."

"Oh, right."

"They usually don't like being disturbed, but I suppose you'd be an exception."

"Uh..." He couldn't pick the best way to respond without first knowing if she meant to be accepting or bitter.

"In the end, I'm never the one he needs," she said. "Take good care of Lord David when you're out there, okay?"

So he was right, Emmy did have feelings for David. Though it would probably be impossible to say what kind of feelings they were exactly. "I don't get what you're saying. Athlum's more important to him than his own life, you know, and he's handing it to you to look after."

Emmy had the look of someone who had just been smacked in the face with the obvious. Rush gave her a lopsided grin.

"I will protect Athlum with my life," she said, solemn.

"And I will protect him with mine. Don't worry."

She regarded him. "You haven't known Lord David for even a month, yet you will lay down your life for him?" It didn't sound like she was questioning his pledge, but merely stating how extraordinarily odd it was.

Rush scratched the back of his head. "I'd sworn on it yesterday. But yeah, weird, isn't it?" It certainly felt like they had known each other for far longer than that. "There's something about him."

Emmy nodded. She knew what he meant.

"Protecting him is your duty, but don't throw your life away carelessly, Rush. Make sure you and Lord David both return alive." She finally smiled. Starting back towards the suites, she hit his arm gently with her book. "Good night."

"G'night. And yeah, I will."

Rush went to bed finally, leaving his doors unlocked. David came in some time in the middle of the night and climbed into bed with him.

"Emmy told us to both come back alive," said Rush when he woke briefly, his voice full of sleep and his eyes struggling to stay open. He had much more to say than just this, something about Emmy's feelings and her dedication, but sleep had clouded his thoughts completely. Maybe he would remember in the morning. Maybe David already knew.

David, the young man who was going to say farewell to his own father tomorrow morning, laughed at him. "Yes, we should do that." He shifted a little, making himself more comfortable. "Earlier... ah, never mind."

"It's okay, I'm not asleep yet," mumbled Rush, most of his face buried in the pillow, when he noticed David had stopped talking. He nudged himself closer to David. "Hmm?"

"I just want to say... whatever it was you said to my father today, thank you."

"Dunno what you're talking about. I'm asleep."

He heard a chuckle.

"Sleep well, Rush."


	14. Chapter 14

Allan watched father and son embrace. Neither said anything but he suspected they had said everything they needed to the night before.

Lord Rolan let David go, then his eyes found Torgal.

"Torgal."

"My lord?"

"After all the years you have served Athlum, I feel you should be the Lord, not I." Lord Rolan shook his head and continued before Torgal could say anything. "Thank you."

To Allan's surprise, Lord Rolan stepped forward and, after some hesitation as to how to go about this, put his arms around Torgal. It was then that Allan realised Torgal must have watched this man grow up like he did David. This was not the parting of the General and his Lord, but another father and son.

"Not to worry, Rolan, I will watch over David."

"I..." Lord Rolan sighed, "thank you. I wanted to ask but could not make myself... all these years you have already given my family..."

"It's what I want to do." Torgal was the first to let go. "Fight well. When you see Isabel, give her my regards."

Allan walked away. He didn't want to watch any more of this.

A while later, Rush joined him, the two of them staring at a painting of old Athlum hung on the wall of a corridor, but not really seeing it.

"I feel a bit out of place," Rush said in explanation of his disturbing Allan's peace.

Not nearly as out of place as I am, Allan thought.

"They all seem quite calm, though." Rush glanced back at the hall at the far end of the corridor, where Lord Rolan was laughing with his son and Generals.

"To die for something like this is the best death any fighter could wish for," Allan heard himself muttering, "and the mitra was talking about meeting his wife in the Sacred Lands."

"Sacred Lands, huh... I don't know if I believe in it. Do you?"

"It's not where I'll end up." He didn't want to be having this conversation. "Get out of my sight. I don't want to talk to small-brained mitras."

The boy left, giving Allan space to think his own thoughts again.

It had been about two weeks since Torgal was taken. Something told Allan his son was still alive. But in what manner? Had he lost anything apart from an ear? Was he in pain? Did he have food and water to sustain himself? These were answers Allan did not have. Their race was resilient but Torgal's temperament might work against him in such a situation. He probably would attempt to escape no matter how impossible it was to do and put himself in more danger instead.

Outside the castle the crowds began to cheer, accompanied by music from trumpets and drums. The march must have begun. Torgal and David, a father and a son, must be standing at a balcony watching Lord Rolan's departure.

His own son could still be saved. In the end, Allan was always the lucky one.

He wasn't sure how long he had been standing there when Torgal appeared by his side, but by then the noise had died down.

"Said your goodbye?"

Torgal didn't bother to reply.

"Why do you put yourself through this? You would rather..." Allan heard what he was saying, and stopped. All these years and he still hadn't learned to just shut up. What good were his accusations and threats now that they were all empty?

"Allan?" Torgal said when Allan turned abruptly and walked away. Eighty years on, Allan could finally understand why Torgal walked away back then. It was much easier and better. But eighty years ago, Torgal left because he had to. Now Allan was turning away because he could not face his guilt.

What a coward.

"I will see you at the entrance in Blackdale."

Allan had no place in Athlum's castle and he could not help organise or lead the troops, so he might as well go on ahead and do a quick survey of the area. Torgal didn't try to stop him from leaving, so he got his paired blades and set off. By the time Torgal and the rest arrived, he had had a look at the first mile of Siebenbur and knew what to expect. Not much had changed. The tunnels dug by the ancient people were holding up better than any recent construction and probably would remain so for another thousand years. All kinds of fiends were nesting there, some of which even Allan would not try to take on alone.

Rush, however, readily took down not just nussknackers and landworms, but even terrapests and harpylias almost entirely by himself as the troops watched and learned. Allan recognised the look on Rush's face. It was the expression of someone who finally found himself doing something truly useful after having to sit and twiddle his thumbs for a long time. Allan knew that feeling far too well.

Slightly deeper into the tunnels, the sheer amount of fiends meant that everyone participated in battle, even Torgal and David. That seemed to be the rule of Athlum: no matter your rank, you fight. Even that cutesy Celapaleis girl in pink was fighting, and she wasn't half bad at it.

This was the first time Allan fought alongside Torgal in many years. Torgal got much better, even more so than he was when they first met and he plucked Allan out of certain death.

That was one and a half centuries ago. Torgal had been away from Allan for longer than he was with him, but even so, Torgal managed to make himself an important figure in Allan's life. And now they were going to find Allan's son, who was about as old as Allan was back then, and also caught in a dangerous predicament. They had come full circle.

Allan lost concentration and a fiend scratched him in the shin, but the talon failed to pierce his armour.

"Do you require assistance?" Torgal asked, moving closer when he noticed Allan's form suddenly faltered.

Ignoring the question, Allan chopped the fiend into three pieces. Would he accept any more help than what Torgal had given and was giving him? Not if he could help it. He already owed him a debt he could never repay.

"Does that guy hate your General's guts or something?"

The higher pitch of Khrynia's voice rang loud despite the background noises. Her question was unanswered until, in the same combat union, David pulled his sword out from where it plunged into the heart of a harpylia.

"No, I don't think that is the case," he said with a much quieter voice that Allan would have missed if not for the sharp sovani hearing.

"Well it definitely looks like it is! I say - "

"Keep your focus, Khrynia."

"Oops, sorry..."

He hated Torgal? Was that how it looked like? But why should he care what anyone else thought? How he felt was nobody's business but his own. And Torgal must know that he could never hate him. He must know.

Damn, why must he be caught in a web of such juvenile emotions at a critical time like this?

Even deeper into Siebenbur, the group encountered fewer and fewer monsters as the prospect of finding food decreased. Eventually Allan could sense no more living things in the path ahead of them, so he wiped his blades and sheathed them. Everyone did the same. Instead of walking ahead of his lord and ready to take on anything that might try to ambush, Rush walked beside David instead. Torgal stayed behind them, keeping a small distance and quiet as a shadow, occasionally falling back to check that the troops weren't having problems negotiating the path whilst transporting siege weapons. Khrynia was trying to make conversations with everyone at the same time and doing remarkably well considering the size of the group.

Allan walked on his own, some ways away from the leader group. They were only temporary comrades - if they even considered him that - and he had never been good at blending in. In their little group of three that ran the Steel Syndicate, Torgal had been the soul, Imogen the heart, and Allan the body. The charisma, compassion and other things that people looked up to and sought comfort from never came from Allan. In fact, he was just one of the many who admired them, but he was luckier than the others, that was all.

A wineskin appeared in front of Allan's eyes. David had come over, most likely with something to say. With a faint scowl, Allan accepted the offer, unplugged the top and immediately a familiar fragrance hit his senses. His favourite wine. This must have come from Torgal.

David waited until Allan took a long drink before speaking. "What are your plans after Nagapur?"

"That's none of your business." He didn't have any. "Who is asking?"

"Just me. If you give Torgal a different answer, it is not something I will demand to know."

"Hn. He's groomed you well." Allan wasn't stupid enough to overlook how hard David was trying to give him the privacy he might need and how much David respected and trusted him. This was someone who devised a plan to find out what was happening back in that village when, had it been anyone else, would have decided Allan had betrayed him and either chose to run for safety or reach for the sword. The boy was painfully rational and had far more emotional control than anyone should have in his situation. He looked and sounded just fine, but Allan wondered if that was how he really felt inside.

"I asked Torgal if he would object if I were to invite you to stay in Athlum," said David.

The suggestion felt laughable although Allan couldn't say why. "What did he say?"

"He left it for me to decide."

"He doesn't like the idea."

"It's hard to say. He always considers his own interests last."

"That's the sort of man he is," Allan muttered. "Why would you want me in Athlum anyway?"

"For a multitude of reasons. Once Wilfred Hermeien is dead, the political and economic balances between the countries will change and much work will need to be done stabilise everything..."

"I have no interest or knowledge in politics and economics."

"...But first of all I envisage a massive relief effort for the people Hermeien has been suppressing through his regime. It will be a monumental ask, not just because of the scale. It will have to be done at the same time as we rid the country of any remaining pockets of resistance."

"You want me to coordinate the relief?" Allan liked the sound of that. "Why not use Torgal? He ran the Steel Syndicate, not I. He has the right experience. People listen to him."

David shook his head. "You're either too humble or you underestimate yourself," he said. "I will put Torgal on this, but I wish to provide him with adequate support."

Allan could hear the unspoken words: "and you are the ideal choice." He could also see that David was being very clever with his approach. Cunning, even. The boy had him figured out. But cunning or not, he made a very good point that Torgal should not be made to do something of this scale alone and if anyone was to be put on the task as well, Allan was the best choice.

A chance to help Torgal. And if Torgal didn't want the help, to hell with it. It wasn't as if Allan wanted to be helped back when they first met. And did Torgal listen?

But he had to consider the other Torgal. Everything hinged on his son's condition.

"I'll think about it."

"Thank you. Please let me know your decision after we've taken Wyrmskeep."

Allan could see why Torgal chose to stay in Athlum; both of the Nassaus he had met were good men, and very smart. Or were they this way because they had Torgal's guidance? Probably both.

Taking another swig of the wine, Allan recalled the time when he and Torgal spent a week arguing which was better: tea or wine. At the end of the week, Allan announced the only way to end the discussion was for them to consume the beverages in turn, and they should start with wine.

They were both very young then.

The next day, Allan woke to a parched throat, a mild headache and a cup of tea Torgal brewed for him. He decided then that wine and tea were as good as each other.

Nostalgia made him sigh. He plugged the wineskin. "Have you ever seen Torgal drunk?"

The question was a surprise to David. "I have never even seen him drink."

"We were best friends for seventy years. In that time I'd only seen him drink perhaps five times. Only once did he get drunk, and that was achieved with a lot of persuasion from me." He didn't know why he was telling David this. Maybe he just needed to talk to someone. "He talked a lot more when intoxicated, but I don't remember what he said because I was in the same state."

The image Allan painted made David chuckle.

"That's what youth is for. Get stupidly drunk, wake up the next day, dust yourselves off and then go and save the world whilst nursing a hangover."

"I think I am seeing the real roots of the Steel Syndicate."

"You're still young. Make sure you do some of that."

"Are you not young by sovani standards?"

Was David trying to rub it in? "There is no pleasure in drinking by oneself."

"Then would you not drink with me?"

Allan looked down at the mitra lord, who seemed puzzled that Allan was surprised. Damn this. If he wanted friendship from other races he wouldn't have lived away from them. Their lives were so short and fragile. He couldn't be like Torgal, who watched the people he cared about die one after another.

This was the life Torgal had chosen. He chose to suffer this heartache repeatedly over listening to Allan tell him about having found the love of his life, over watching Allan always by Imogen's side like a bee to honey, over risking them both being persecuted if his - literally - guilty secret was discovered.

"I'll think about it." Realising David was still waiting for a reply, he used the same response from earlier. "I'll think about it harder if you get Torgal to join."

David laughed. "That may call for an abuse of authority, but it is a worthwhile enough cause for me to do so."

Interesting, this boy. Allan heard himself laugh as well, something he rarely did since Imogen died.

At night they slept only in sleeping bags, as they were already sheltered from the elements and the rock ground made pitching tents impractical. Nobody seemed to have problems with this, not even the boy lord, who picked a spot to sleep near the troops. Rush was somewhere further away, in the middle of organising the patrol for the night. He could only look on with mild alarm when Khrynia went over to David with a rather serious expression on her face.

Standing in a shadowed corner and watching David being dragged away for a private talk, Allan snorted. "You've taught him well."

Beside Allan, Torgal cocked his head, ears turning outward.

"David is much less arrogant and useless than I thought the lord of a country would be."

"I have not taught him anything. All his achievements are by his own merits," said Torgal.

"Try saying that again without that parental look on your face," said Allan, amused, and even more so when Torgal frowned at him. "You are proud of him."

"Of course I am."

"After eighty years, it was the safety of this boy that finally made you seek me out. I knew he had to be important if you'd rather suffer me than for him to come to harm."

"Meeting you is not a sufferance."

"After all you have done to leave my life completely?"

Torgal said nothing.

"Why do you just stand and let me make accusations?" Allan tried to keep his voice down whilst attempting to get a reaction out of his best friend, but only achieved the former. "You... didn't love Immi."

Torgal turned his face away, as if to look at what the people at the far end of their group were doing. "I told you I did not."

"I thought you did because your eyes were always on her and every time I caught you staring, you looked away in guilt." Allan chuckled sadly. How stupid he was. "But it wasn't Immi, was it? I was always with her... it was me you were looking at." The words were pouring out of him, he couldn't stop. "All those years and I never even realised. I just kept telling you how much I wanted to be with her. It's my fault, isn't it? I drove you away from the life you knew and everything you'd built. And you'd still rather let me accuse you of walking out when you actually left to protect me."

For a long time, there was only silence. And then Torgal took a shuddering breath. "It was nothing as noble as you think. I heard about the huntings and executions and became afraid, so I left."

"Are you telling me you were scared of death? You, who saved my life by nearly throwing away your own?"

"I was young then; I didn't know real fear."

Allan crouched down, buried his face in his knees, hiding deeper into the shadows. All the years being angry at Torgal for leaving. All the years thinking Imogen was waiting for Torgal to return and finally killed herself out of unhappiness. All the years thinking he was never truly loved. But the truth was this: he was loved deeply by both of them, enough for Torgal to give up everything and leave, and for Imogen to risk her life to have his child.

"Why do you still insist on lying when I already know the truth?" He wanted to look up, but the world was spinning around too much for him to do so. He could hear the blood rushing to his head. It was hurting. Everything was hurting.

"Because what you've said is not the truth. Don't - "

"It is the truth, goddammit! I can tell you're lying without even looking at your face!" Something suddenly dawned on Allan. He stood up, but collapsed against the wall right away. "Or is there something else I haven't figured out yet? Is it..."

"Allan?" Torgal asked when Allan started to laugh with mild hysteria.

Allan shook his head. He knew what it was. This had to be it.

"Immi left notes. One for me, one for our son," he said, his laughter dying. Immi asked him for his forgiveness in the note, saying that nothing was his fault. She asked him to take care of their child. "I gave Torgal the note when he turned twelve, never having read it myself. He read it and then told me he didn't understand." He glanced at Torgal, seeing that Torgal could guess what that meant. "'Sorry I can't keep my promise' - that's what she wrote."

Torgal closed his eyes.

"How cruel it was, I thought, years after she had gone and I still had to be rubbed in the face with it, that you two promised something to each other and she kept it to herself all these years," Allan muttered. Now it seemed to mean something completely different. "Do you want to tell me the rest of it or would you rather face questions from my son later on? He knows about you, he will ask you and I can't guarantee he will be discreet."

They listened to their own breathing for a while, Allan waiting for Torgal to begin. There was no way to escape this now.

"She asked me to leave," said Torgal very quietly, his face placid.

The world started spinning again.

"She only did it with everyone's best interest in mind, so please don't blame her."

"Immi..." When Allan was consumed in anger for Torgal's abandonment, Imogen kept saying maybe Torgal had his reasons and Allan should forgive him. He thought she was taking Torgal's side and they nearly broke up over this, but she never backed down. Eventually Allan understood if he didn't calm down, then he would lose Imogen as well. He never imagined the truth could have been like this.

_She made Torgal leave._

"She promised me she would stay by your side." Torgal sighed. "You both wanted to start a family together, which you did. Things may not have turned out the way we wanted but you had some happy years with her."

Allan wanted to say something, but he didn't know what.

"I didn't want you to know because you had not done anything wrong. It was just the way things were. I believe the outcome was the best the three of us could have had despite everything."

He realised he didn't want to say anything. He just wanted to cry.

"I'm sure Immi regretted nothing, and neither do I."

He didn't deserve any of this.

"Don't dwell on the past. Let us focus on getting your family back."

He was the lucky one.


	15. Chapter 15

Around them were walls covered with intricate carvings and reliefs. Beside their feet, crumbled pieces of gilded statues. Above them, beautiful arches, coated in dust, holding up a ceiling easily taller than any in Athlum Castle.

This was probably where the ancient people fought the last battle against whatever threatened their existence - and lost. When Torgal and Allan first found this place, they named it the Final Fortress. Evidence of life from thousands of years ago had long disappeared, any bones completely rotted away or consumed by fiends, so whatever they said of it now, it was only their imagination and speculation, with no way to ever prove what this place once was. But standing in the middle of this great fortress, David thought he could hear the echoes of those who were here, he could imagine vibrations travelling through him, as if something inside him was resonating with this place.

"Wow," Rush said under his breath, looking around him the way everyone else was doing, "talk about awesome!"

"One can easily see the skill and knowledge the ancient people possessed," said David. "Would we be able to build something like this now, underground?"

"Probably not..."

"Did you know that the Gae Bolg originated from the ancient people?"

"Really?"

"Yes."

Even his ancestors didn't know for sure the true origins of the Gae Bolg, only the way of obtaining it, but it was said that it was an Art once used by the ancient people. These people had the Gae Bolg, and most likely other Arts, and yet they could not prevent their deaths. It was a stark reminder that having overwhelming power did not guarantee anything, not even victory or survival. Even his father, in the condition he was in, was only going to use the Gae Bolg when he was absolutely sure it would wipe out Nagapur's forces.

Every generation of Nassau understood the only thing the Gae Bolg guaranteed was their own deaths.

"Let's stop staring and settle down. Everyone is hungry."

The meal was army ration, simple but sustaining. After eating, David permitted the troops to wander around the fortress, but with a caveat that no one was allowed to touch anything. They were inside one of the most magnificent relics in the world, after all. David himself stayed in the front hall, now completely deserted save Torgal and Rush. The three of them sat down to review their progress so far. Allan, who had been silent since the night before last, talking back only when talked to, was dragged away by Khrynia. David had a feeling Allan was not very good at saying no to the opposite sex. She was probably just trying to cheer him up.

Whatever she had to say to Allan, it wouldn't be the same as what she said to David yesterday.

"Hmm?"

Rush caught him staring. He smiled and shook his head. "Nothing."

After the meeting, David wandered around by himself, wanting a little private time. He picked one of the corridors and went in, soon losing his sense of direction in the series of rooms that followed, but there was only one way in and out so he wasn't worried.

At the innermost room he found a statue of a warrior woman, a sword in one hand and a shield in the other. She had the Gae Bolg winding up her sword arm.

It was difficult to describe what having the Gae Bolg felt like. It was part parasite, part a trusted friend. He always understood its importance. His father used the Gae Bolg more often than any of his predecessors, not because he thirsted for blood, but the world they lived in was more unstable than it had ever been. His father was ready to die to put things right, ready to die to create a better world for David, in hope that David would never have to use his own Gae Bolg. This was how his father loved him.

Standing at the place where the Gae Bolg might have come from, as his father was about to give his own life in exchange for peace, and he himself on another mission with the same goal, David had never felt prouder of being a Nassau.

The sound of footsteps brought his mind back.

"Over here." People must be looking for him.

Rush's face appeared in the doorway. "Heya." He turned around and raised his voice. "Found 'im. You guys can go back." He paused. "And he said everyone should go sleep."

That prompted another shuffling of footfalls.

"My apologies, I must have lost track of time. Is it late?" asked David when the noise faded.

Rush snorted. "You kept over a hundred people awake. They don't dare to sleep without your permission." He walked over, his head cocked to one side. "You alright? You didn't sleep much last night."

"Neither did you."

The response David got was an arched eyebrow. Right, so Rush stayed awake because he was on patrol for half the night whereas David didn't sleep at all because he couldn't. "Well, you know sleep and I have never been the greatest of friends."

Rush frowned slightly, lowering his eyes, as if unsure of what to do or say next. When David noticed Rush was looking at his hand, he lifted it a little, knowing Rush needed a bit of encouragement. It made sense, after listening to Khrynia yesterday, that Rush behaved the way he did, often unsure and rarely making the first move. He finally understood what Rush meant by "I thought you were mad at me for overstepping the line" a few days ago as well. What David did that night was terrible enough by itself, but knowing how Rush must have interpreted it made it much worse.

But that was in the past. David had no wish to dwell on it. When Rush pulled a glove off and grasped his hand, squeezing it, he smiled.

"You need not worry about me. It's strange to say this but I'm not too upset over it any more."

"Really?"

"I think I've come to terms with it. I feel more pride than sadness." Everything David said was true, but finding the words to express his feelings was not easy. He paused, trying to construct his next sentence. "He misses Mother terribly. It's time for me to take over his responsibilities and let them reunite with each other in the Sacred Lands."

The look on Rush's face was sceptical. Judging by the way he didn't say which part he was sceptical about, David could guess what it was.

"The Sacred Lands do exist. I have been there."

"What?"

This was something David never told anyone before, save Emma. Not that there was any harm in telling, but the chance never came up. Even though David could hear someone nearing the room they were in, he continued. "The training to obtain the Gae Bolg was quite harsh. There was once when I collapsed and my heart stopped. I saw my mother and grandparents." Rush's eyes were wide, his mouth hanging open. David nodded at him. "They said my time hasn't come yet, I should stay by Father's side and we would all be together eventually. I didn't want to leave, but they told me I didn't have a choice anyway because Emma was coming to get me."

"Emma?"

"Emma was by my side when I came around. She'd found me and pumped my chest until my heart was beating again." Emma had started to cry with relief when David opened his eyes, the only time he ever saw her do so. The pain of having his ribcage compressed repeatedly was nothing compared with that of knowing how much worry he had caused her.

Swearing silently, it seemed like Rush didn't know how to digest what he had just been told. David smiled. It felt great to be able to speak with Rush so freely, a complete contrast to how things were when he was escaping from the Third Committee. Even if it was something as absurd as this, at least he could say it and let Rush come to his own conclusions.

"Of course I will miss my father, but to stay upset would be silly, because he will be where he most wants to be," David told him. "I don't need you to believe what I saw, just that I am going to be fine."

The nod he got from Rush was slow and hesitant, but he did get it.

"You will get some sleep tonight?"

"I shall try my best." That was all David could promise, really. Finally he turned towards the man who had been waiting for the last few minutes at the doorway, both sets of arms crossed. "Allan."

Allan eyed him. "Sacred Lands. Of course someone like you will have a place there." He muttered and led the way out. "Hurry up. No place in Siebenbur is completely safe. Know better than to walk around by yourself."

David and Rush followed him. "Do you not look forward to meeting your loved ones again?"

Looking back over his shoulder at David, Allan's eyes narrowed. "The likes of me go to a different place."

"The likes of you?"

"Don't push it, kid."

"I killed my own mother."

Everyone stopped. David looked up at the tall man, who had his back to him. He clutched at Rush's hand.

"So how about the likes of me, Allan?"

"You... must have had your reasons..."

"She was in deep pain from an incurable sickness. She wanted me to do it."

"Then - "

"I don't know the whole story of everything that had happened, but wasn't what you did - getting married, having a family - what they also wanted?" David asked. "You did not build your happiness out of their misery. On the contrary, they were happy because of you. Is that not enough?" He kept his voice soft. Allan was accusing himself of enough crimes that David wanted his questions to sound just as questions and nothing else. "You might have misunderstood them in the past, but do you intend to reject their love by rejecting the years of happiness they'd given you?"

Sovanis were notoriously stubborn, but over the last few weeks David had earned Allan's respect enough for him to listen and think first rather than turn away immediately.

After a while, Allan said, somewhat feebly, "it's not that simple."

"It is that simple. Don't make it more complicated than it needs to be."

Allan had no reply.

Tugging on Rush's hand, David led the way out without wrapping up the conversation, knowing Allan needed time to think. He was meddling again, but he couldn't stand watching Allan suffer and surely Torgal couldn't, either.

When they neared the front hall, Rush let go of his hand. Allan went his own way to a little side room where he had laid out his things, away from the troops but still within view. Most people were already in their sleeping bags and the rest on the first shift of the night's watch. Rush retreated slightly back into the corridor they came from, gesturing for David to do the same.

"Did Khrynia say anything strange to you last night?" Rush asked, his voice low and worried. Perhaps he had been wanting to ask about this all day.

Seeing that face and recalling the exact words Khrynia used, David couldn't stop his own voice from quivering with a hint of a smile. "She said, and I quote, 'Rush and I are like, totally BFF, so if you hurt him I'm totally gonna hurt you.'"

Rush dropped his head onto his hand, which was still holding the glove. "Oh, man."

"It is a step up from 'girl friends', though?" David had been threatened many times in his life - it was part of the job description of being a lord - but he had never been threatened this way. As frivolous as Khrynia seemed, he could tell she meant every word.

"What else did she say?"

"Are you worried?"

"Yeah well, it's her!"

"Your BFF." David was still amused.

"Don't you start!" Rush said, then realised he was being too loud, and coughed.

"I figure this means she is not meant to know the things she knows, then?"

Rush's expression was one of doom and gloom. "She told you."

David cocked his head, a silent affirmation.

"I was a teenager."

It didn't happen that long ago and Rush was barely out of teenage now, but that was only a technicality. "You don't need to explain." As far as David was concerned, Rush liked someone and stuck by him for a long time even though that person didn't treat him well. Finally Rush grew up, realised he deserved better and broke up with that person. There was nothing wrong about it, at least not in the way Rush was worried about. "I'm glad Khrynia told me; I feel I understand you a little more."

Eyes on his feet, Rush kicked at the floor once. "It's not exactly the best bit about me to tell people," he said, "and it's really too early to start talking about ex's."

"Yes, I suppose." David paused to think for a moment. "Though, now that we are talking about it, there is something I can tell you that might make you feel better."

"Yeah?" Rush looked up again.

This was, again, something David didn't often talk about, but he suspected at least half of the people in the castle knew about it. "Before you, I have dated two people. Both times I was, well, dumped."

Rush's jaw dropped. "Dumped? You?"

David shrugged. "They both had ideas about..." what was the right word? "...rescuing me from the life I was born into. Perhaps from their point of view, my life is indeed terrible." As a future leader in a conflict-ridden world, when he started training for the Gae Bolg, most of his classmates and teachers looked at him with pity every time they saw the markings on his arm. "But I am proud of being what I am and don't need such intervention. Eventually they got frustrated and broke up with me."

Hearing this, Rush actually looked incredulous. "That's pretty dumb."

That was one way to put it. Looking back, David did wonder whether they loved him or the fairytale idea of saving the lord from his castle.

"I guess it takes making mistakes for us to learn what is truly good for ourselves," David mused. He continued, in a rare moment when he felt he could speak from his heart, "you are the first one to understand me and decide to become part of my life rather than remove me from it. Thank you, Rush."

Rush gaped at him, his face starting to flush. His mouth moved, but sound only came out after a second. "How do you say things like that without getting embarrassed?"

David rolled his eyes playfully. Hands behind his back, he leaned forward, bringing his lips to Rush's ear, allowing a hint of smile in his voice. "You'd stripped me of my clothes and wrapped me in the throes of passion. What need have I to be embarrassed in front of you any more?"

"Oh, owww." Rush clutched at his chest, mocking pain as he bent forward and rested his head on David's shoulder. "Owww! That's the corniest thing I've ever heard in my life!"

David couldn't stop laughter from bubbling out of him. It was indeed rather sickening, what he'd just said. Almost mortifying. "Do you reject my sincerity?"

"Yeah, coz it makes my skin crawl!" The body against him began to shake, laughter having found them both.

David somehow felt the need to defend himself, despite having deliberately chosen the unbearable words to begin with. He did have a sense of shame after all. "The greatest writers and poets used words such as those."

"Shut up." Rush looked up, hands swiftly grabbing hold of David, who barely had time to react before he was kissed. Nobody had ever dared to use the words "shut up" on David before. He had never been kissed this way, either. It wasn't a bad feeling. Coming from Rush, who had had enough negative experience to even hesitate about taking his hand a while ago, this was exciting.

And then Rush pulled back. "Don't ever be a poet."

"All right," David breathed. Goodness, he was getting a little aroused. Not that it would stop him from teasing Rush. "If you dislike the throes of passion so much."

"Say that once more and you aren't having me ever again," said Rush with mock annoyance.

"That is disappointing." David didn't miss a beat. "But you will still have me, yes?"

"I just said - " The sentence stopped half way as Rush realised what David meant.

David smiled again, an eyebrow arching briefly. Then he left the corridor, hearing Rush catching up and asking with a fair amount of doubt, "you're sure?"

"Yes." It seemed like all of the soldiers were already asleep or at least trying to sleep, so David kept his voice very quiet as they neared the main camp.

"Really really sure?"

"I'd be happy to give it a try." They had arrived at their sleeping area. David turned around then, tilting his head. He wasn't totally unafraid, but discomfort and pain were not things that ever frightened him very much, and over the years he had perfected the look of calm and confidence as well as how to talk with ambiguity while in public. "When we return to Athlum... let's make it something for us both to look forward to?"

Rush looked down at his sleeping bag with dismay. "Oh my God. I'm so not getting any sleep tonight."

Rush's blushing face, excited yet miserable, was quite precious. "Good night, Rush."

Despite what he said, Rush fell asleep very quickly, or he was very good at feigning sleep, David could not tell and did not check. The night was far longer for him. Telling Allan about his mother had stirred up unpleasant memories, and even though he only did as she requested and she was supposedly waiting for him in the Sacred Lands, it was only "supposedly". David had no memory of meeting his mother there. Everything he knew was what Emma told him afterwards, saying that he had blurted it out in jumbled and disjointed sentences when he came around.

But he needed something to catch Allan's attention and drive the point home. Even though talking out loud about killing his mother - only the second time he had ever done so - was difficult and he hadn't had the time to prepare, he was glad he didn't shy away from it.

The second time he had to pick out poison for his own parent, his hands did not even shake. Was that a good thing, or had he been desensitised? Had he truly come to terms with it as he thought he had? It was probably not something he should worry about right now, but his mind did have the tendency to wander whenever he was lying in bed. In previous army expeditions, he had a fixed camp site and everything he needed within reach. Right now, the wine was regretfully far away and getting to it would mean letting those standing guard know that their commander and lord depended on alcohol to sleep. After last night, he meant to keep some with his sleeping bag, but between walking around the Final Fortress and talking to Allan, he had missed the opportunity.

David rolled onto his back and tried breathing exercises instead. A year ago Blocter was sent for classes by Pagus in hope they would help the brash and impulsive young man achieve some inner calm. David went along to satisfy his own curiosity and ease Blocter's irritation over the whole issue, and ended up learning a few things that, at times but not always, came in useful. He tried to recall the calm that washed over him when he was in the room with the warrior woman statue, but the knot in his chest refused to go away. It took him a while to realise why.

The ground was vibrating.

No, it wasn't the ground. The _ceiling_. Virtually undetectable, but picked up by adept fighters like David, just like that time in Ghor.

War was happening directly above them.

David pushed himself up on an elbow and looked around. A handful of other people had also woken up, including Rush. They all looked to him, and he gestured for them to go back to sleep. Judging by where they were, it was most likely Ghor and Nagapur's forces in night time combat, unless Athlum's army was intercepted whilst going around to the other side of the battlefield. It was impossible to tell for definite.

He lay back down on his side, facing Rush, who was mouthing something at him. But trying to speak silently proved to be silly and Rush finally gave up. "You still can't get to sleep?" He whispered as quietly as he could.

"I am trying my best, as I told you I would."

Rush nodded, pulling out his hands from inside the sleeping bag. He was holding a familiar-looking hip flask. Opening it, he poured out a capful - with some difficulty since he was lying down - and passed it to David, who raised an eyebrow.

"Emma said I've to ration it to you. Two capfuls a night, max. Have one and see how it goes?"

Under the dim, flickering light of torches, David fixed his gaze on the cap, thinking about the last time Rush gave him Emma's hip flask. "After last time, I did not think that you would still..." He wasn't sure how to put it; he had no desire for it to become a sore point for them, but it was true that he sometimes depended on external help for something that came naturally to other people. What did this all look like to Rush?

"You're thinking too much. Drink this and go to sleep."

With some hesitation, David accepted the drink, a strong concoction of alcohol and medicinal herbs that promoted sleep faster than anything David knew, even with the war going on above. He recognised the taste as the same drink Emma reluctantly gave him when he went on for days without sleep following his mother's death. Being so young back then, he was only allowed very small sips of it, but the memory of its taste stayed with him.

Just before consciousness slipped away from him, he thought he heard Rush's voice whispering, "I wish you were a little less strong."

He wanted to ask Rush what he meant, but the world had already faded away.


	16. Chapter 16

After spending eight decades living amongst the other races, Torgal still felt he understood little about them. Mitras, in particular, confused him. Although physically the most similar to sovanis, their lives were heartbreakingly short in comparison, their flames so easily extinguished. But perhaps it was because of exactly this that, in Torgal's eyes, mitras knew far better how to live their lives than sovanis.

The war went on above; they were underneath Nagapur now. He wondered if he could bring David back to Rolan in time for the boy to show his father Wilfred Hermeien's blood on his blade. This was how the Nassaus chose to live and die. At times like these, sovanis were often mere spectators, feeling the rise and fall of kingdoms trifling in their long lives. Torgal still could not decide whether or not his kinsmen were wrong - they had their own sufferings that others could not understand - but he knew the sovani way was not for him.

A whirring noise, followed by that of metal against rock, drowned out the sounds of the war almost completely. After nearly a week's journey, part riding and part walking, they had arrived at their destination. The troops just got the second machine running and were starting on the third. With these machines, they would be able to tunnel their way through to the west waterway control of the aqueducts. The reason that waterway became abandoned was that it was unknowingly built too close to Siebenbur, causing structural problems. They were going to use this to their advantage. Half a day of drilling should be all it would take to make themselves an entrance.

Allan came to stand beside Torgal. "Those two are on their way."

Torgal nodded. Allan had just shown Rush and Khrynia to the nearby exit, and the mitras would make contract with Ghor's representatives and Celapaleis's agents at Wyrmskeep. With battles being fought in the city, this was highly dangerous work, but it had to be done.

"I should've gone with them."

"They are less suspicious faces; you must be well-known to the Third Committee now. And - "

"You don't need to point out the obvious." Allan cast his gaze on the tunnelling work. "I know they are stronger than they look. Just like David."

The false hostility was fading. Torgal knew from the start Allan never hated anyone. The Allan he knew from the past was a kind, righteous person. Prone to acting on impulse. Competitive. Always wanted to do everything himself, became aggressive when he needed help. Open with his opinion of others, but kept himself to himself. Little about him had changed in the last eighty years except for the recklessness. But Allan was a father now, just like Torgal had his responsibilities in Athlum. They had both matured, that was all.

Somehow, Torgal could hear Emma's voice in his mind, chiding him for this-and-that. According to her, Torgal was far from mature and never knew how to take care of himself. She had been that way ever since her husband died, Torgal had noticed, but he knew better than to say anything. It would be wrong to assume Emma herself was unaware. One cool summer night long ago, two years after Elric gave his life fighting for Athlum's peace, Torgal and Emma drank together. She said that she was still learning to stop chasing after the shadow of what was no longer there. Torgal told her she genuinely cared about those around her and that was all that mattered.

The third drilling machine started, the shrill noise making both sovanis wince, feeling sharp pain in their ears. Even David, in the heart of the action, decided to stand back. Someone offered him hearing protection but he declined, choosing to be able to hear the first sign of any problem.

He went over to the sovanis. "Torgal, please go and check on the patrol. Allan, if you don't mind helping..."

Nodding, Torgal left the noisy area, with Allan following. They were close to one of the exits to the surface and because of this, there was a substantial amount of fiends when they got here earlier. Those had been cleared up but a patrol was set up to deal with any that might appear. But David's true intention, which did not escape Torgal and Allan's notice, was to provide them with an excuse to be away from the drilling noise.

"He is perceptive," Allan commented, looking at Torgal as if he was responsible for this, "and too considerate for his own good."

Torgal felt he had to clarify. "Not by my doing. It is his nature."

The patrol was coping well. A soldier updated Torgal on various matters, then Torgal and Allan found a spot at the top of a flight of roughly-carved steps where they could observe everything from afar, silent unless someone came to talk to them. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. The Steel Syndicate began as a vigilante group and standing and observing was the main part of what they did. Allan used to natter when silence wasn't required, but clearly he had much on his mind right now, and it was easy to guess what he was thinking about.

Torgal had feared the truth would break Allan. He meant everything he said a few days ago, that Imogen did what she had to and he held no grudge and had no regrets. And such was their bond that he did not think anything in the world could harm their friendship. But to part with a truth he spent nearly half his life guarding, and to see the devastation it caused Allan, was a painful thing. All he could do was repeatedly remind Allan that their goal right now was to rescue his son, and nothing else mattered.

Since leaving the Final Fortress, however, Allan seemed to be coping better. He started speaking with Torgal again the day after that, and he even seemed to be becoming more like his old self. But it didn't mean he had come to terms with everything.

Being in a place with no natural light, it was difficult to see how much time had passed, particularly since sovanis did not tire as quickly as other races. But the patrol had changed shift by the time Rush and Khrynia returned. Spotting them on the steps, they gave a quick wave before going to report to David.

Allan relaxed a little. Torgal bit back a smile.

"David said there might be work I can do after the war," said Allan all of a sudden.

That was something David had consulted Torgal beforehand. "Yes. I also heard."

"What do you think?"

It was a difficult question to answer. Torgal was not exactly sure what he thought. He would not oppose to Allan being around, and he felt they were honestly too old, had been through too much to feel awkward around each other despite their past. But.

But.

But what?

"It is your decision. I don't know how it would compare to how you make a living currently," Torgal said, knowing his words were virtually meaningless. "I can tell you about my experience of working for Athlum if that helps your decision-making."

The non-committal response surprised Allan. "Do you not have a straight answer, or are you insulting me by being diplomatic?"

"It's not that. I would certainly welcome you should you choose to stay." That was the truth, although there was a "but" in there somewhere, and Torgal did not know why. Allan heard the unspoken word, too, because he was scrutinising Torgal's face, which had nothing for him to read except confusion.

"This is unlike you," Allan concluded after several moments.

"I know. I apologise." Torgal truly could not explain this. He could not understand himself.

Rather than being put off by the odd attitude, Allan just seemed perplexed. After a while he left to get something to eat.

Torgal stood alone, watching Allan turn a corner for the far end of their group where the supplies were kept. Straight ahead, Rush, Khrynia, David and several other high-ranked soldiers were discussing something as the drilling continued. It was David who suggested inviting Allan to work for Athlum, an idea Torgal did not even think to entertain a week ago. It would be a good thing for the country, and perhaps more preferable to irregular work from the Golden Chalice, no matter how highly paid it was. And as long as work did not involve Allan having to bow his head to anyone, Torgal could see no problems with it. Yet, why did he feel worried?

There was a sound.

Attention returning to the tasks at hand, Torgal listened harder. Something was making sounds that was almost drowned out by the drilling noise. Could it be fiends?

Hurrying down to where the drilling was taking place, Torgal got the soldiers to stop the machines temporarily. Everyone was looking at him now, but Torgal was used to being stared at and he had a feeling this was important.

Something was knocking on the other side of the wall of rock they had almost finished drilling through. Raising a hand, David gestured for silence as he went over to Torgal.

"What is it?"

"Something is knocking on the rock from the other side." Torgal walked closer to the wall, pressing his ear to it.

"Could it be monsters?"

Not answering the question right away, Torgal listened hard. There it was again. Tentatively he took one of his swords and struck the rock using the end of the hilt, repeating the pattern he heard.

He got a reply in the form of a series of irregular knocking sounds. It took Torgal a moment to realise what it was - a code he and Allan invented for the Steel Syndicate, something he had not used since leaving many years ago.

There was only one explanation.

He tried to reply. _Torgal?_

_Dad?_

It would be too complicated to explain who he was, so Torgal did not bother. "Lord David, Allan's son is on the other side." He tried to keep his voice calm. It was David who started to shout, grabbing the nearest person and sending him to bring Allan here.

_Your condition?_

_Stop drilling. Might come down._

Torgal turned around. "Bring me axes!" _Move away. We dig by hand._

_Hurry. Can't hold much longer._

Several bewildered soldiers dragged over a crate of axes. Torgal picked up a pair with long handles that he could swing easily with all four arms. David was staring at him, waiting for an explanation.

"We cannot drill any further; there is danger of collapse on the other side. He also said that he cannot hold much longer."

There was no way to tell what Allan's son really meant, but the urgency was apparent. David took an axe, ignoring the protests of those around him who said the commander need not do this himself. Anyone else who could get a tool got one as well. They were already hacking at the wall with all their might, sending chips of rock flying with every swing, when Allan came running and joined in.

Swinging axes against a rock wall wasn't something any of them was used to doing and particularly harsh for the small-built mitras. Allan shoved Rush away, yelling for him to give his tool to a yama. The boy ran off to arrange things, but Torgal could hardly pay attention to what was happening behind him. David was beside him, refusing to leave the spot although sweat was making him lose his grip on the axe.

"Lord David - "

"Be quiet!" David wiped his palms on his clothes and picked up the axe again. "This is something I..." strike, "...have to..." strike, "...do!" His hands slipped again. "Curse this!"

Torgal pulled off his scarf and wrapped the handle of one of his axes, then gave it to David. "Use this, my lord."

David, face flushed from exertion and sweat dripping even from his hair, managed to smile at him. He took the axe David was using before and resumed working. Yes, this was something David had to do. It was the same for Torgal - he must save Allan and Imogen's child.

The time it took to knock the wall down felt excruciatingly long. When a wide section of it finally crumbled, Torgal saw a boy with a pickaxe in his hands and monster corpses at his feet. He wore his hair long, the ends of it brushing the ground as he knelt on one knee. It was a small room they had broken into, its exit barricaded, but something was ramming against it and it wasn't going to hold for another minute. Rush led a team in and waited for whatever it was to come through. David allowed himself to be sensible at last and let the others handle the situation, backing off to a safe place to rest, his gaze not leaving the sovanis.

The boy tried to stand but could not. Being closest to him, Torgal picked him up and walked away from the immediate area, trusting Rush to deal with the impending influx of monsters.

"Who the hell are you? I don't need rescuing!" The young man struggled in Torgal's arms, refusing to let go of the pickaxe even when Allan appeared by his side. "Put me down!"

Torgal set the boy down on his feet. He was roughly David's height, and perhaps a few years older than David. Sovanis themselves were a rare sight to some people already, and one this young even rarer. Many were staring, and Torgal too, but for a different reason: the boy had exactly the same colourings as Imogen, but the one remaining ear was split at the tip, just like Allan's.

The boy gaped at Torgal for a moment. There was recognition in his eyes.

Allan led his boy, who limped terribly but refused to be helped, towards the medical team. He was pretending to be mindless of his injuries, although just from looking, it was easy to see that he at least suffered damage to one knee and a broken arm. Most of the cuts were superficial, though.

"There are barbarossas! They can't fight them in a room that small!"

Turning around to look, Rush had already made the troops back out of the room, into the wider tunnels of Siebenbur. He must have realised what the opponents were going to be. "I believe you will not need to worry, Torgal."

"Hn!" Young Torgal brushed off Allan's hand for the third time. "I don't need your help!"

A couple of yamas were running over, carrying a stretcher. "Let them fix you up. These people owe us," Allan told his son. It seemed to do the trick; young Torgal, with much unwillingness, let himself be taken away.

Torgal started to laugh. This boy was Allan's child, without a shadow of a doubt.

"What?" Allan eyed him.

"He is exactly as you were when we first met."

"Really." Allan sounded unimpressed.

"Yes."

They stared at each other for a while, then Allan sighed. "I guess you are right," he conceded, laughing with Torgal for a few brief moments. "I must go check on my son. You should check on yours too, see that he hadn't removed his own toes with the axe earlier."

Monsters flooded in when the barricade broke down, keeping everyone busy. It was some time before everything settled down again and they could finally discuss, over a quick meal, what had taken place and what their next steps should be.

Young Torgal had his knee wrapped and his arm steadied. He said that his captors had left since war entered the borders of Nagapur, presumably called away to fight, but when they left they sealed all exits as a final part of the game they tried to play with him, saying that they would return to see what had become of him once they won the war. The pickaxe was the only weapon he managed to find and with it he secured his survival for - roughly, he could not tell for sure - four days. When he came across the small room, he spotted some plants that should only be found in Siebenbur, from which he worked out that he could not be far from the Siebenbur entrance his father had shown him before. With no way to leave the aqueducts and the remaining monsters too strong for him to fight alone, young Torgal decided he had to create his own exit by digging a hole in the wall. However absurd the idea was, it was his only chance.

David was about to say something, probably "we are glad you are all right," but Torgal subtly gestured for him not to. If he was right about the young one's temperament, those were words he would appreciate but react badly to on the outside.

David took Torgal's advice. "Then Rush, Khrynia, your report please."

The mitras looked at each other, then Rush shrugged and continued eating, letting Khrynia do the talking. "Well, we got hold of Violet. She said Hermeien's like, holed up inside the dragon castle. There are about a hundred people inside? Here, she's made some maps and lists for us." She passed pieces of paper over. "Violet got assigned to do stuff outside and Gabriel's been killed - nasty bloke anyway - so we won't have people opening gates for us..."

"That was a long shot to begin with," David frowned in concentration as he studied the information.

"If I were you I'd totally poke them both sides."

"All of this is within our calculation," David said, showing tolerance. "We will carry out the siege from both ends - the hidden entrance inside the aqueducts and a frontal attack. Rush, you will come with me through the aqueducts. Torgal, I want you to lead the frontal assault." He passed the drawings to Torgal. "None of this conflicts with our plan for this scenario."

As Torgal looked through the information, Rush spoke. "The overall situation's that Lord Rolan's army has started fighting since the day before yesterday, Celapaleis's making a lot of noise from the sea and Ghor's more-or-less taken Flussbahn and half of Nordenalm. Hermeien is fighting at least three fronts. Well, his troops are. He's just hiding. And pissing in his pants I bet."

"Any word on whether the Gae Bolg has been used yet?" asked David.

Rush's voice softened. "I don't know."

"I see. Not to worry. We must concentrate on the task at hand."

The meeting went on for a while longer as Rush and Khrynia described the finer details of what they learned. A combination of exhaustion, food and medication meant Allan's child fell asleep half way through, much to Torgal's relief. He hadn't yet found out what Allan had told his son and wasn't prepared for any question at present.

After the meeting, they had half a day left to make the final preparations and rest before their strike before daybreak, scheduled to coincide with Ghor army's next wave of attack.

"How is he?" A voice behind Torgal asked. David was there, and he dismissed everyone else from the curtained medical area.

"Everything will heal properly," said Torgal quietly. "The ear can be reattached for aesthetics purposes if he wishes."

David nodded. "He mentioned a 'game'."

"He explained it to Allan. It was a sort of hide-and-seek, with fiends."

David drew a breath through his lips. "Is it bad that I think that was at least better than one such game with his captors?"

"No, it is not. Men are the real monsters."

"Does he know why he is here?"

"I have not found out yet."

"If possible, I'd like to minimise your involvement in the course of events that led up to his capture. I don't want him to have reasons to hate you."

The sentiment touched Torgal. "Is it time to worry about such things, my lord?"

"Your lord is listless beyond belief. Allow him worry about other people's troubles."

"How about Rush?"

"I would rather worry about you than to see him worry about me." David cocked his head. "Also, I would not want you to feel neglected."

Torgal snorted.

"Do you wish to live with sovanis again, Torgal?"

The question shocked him. It seemed to have come out of nowhere. "I am comfortable where I am. May I ask the reason for your question?"

"It's just something I have always wondered. And looking at young Torgal now... the feeling is even stronger, that you may need to have those who you can care about without the knowledge that you will watch them die in the future."

"Lord David..."

"You serve and guide me as my general and mentor. You know me very well. But I think I know you a little, too. I am glad you have found those who you can call family."

Torgal could not decipher what David really meant. Surely David was not suggesting for him to leave Athlum? "I'm afraid I do not understand."

David smiled. "Perhaps I've said too much." He weaved his fingers together and stretched a little. "Ah, I am exhausted. My noble blood clearly disagrees with the strenuous work today. I think I shall go to bed."

Still puzzled, Torgal bid his lord good evening.

Allan appeared soon after David left.

"Family," he said under his breath, as if afraid to wake his son. "He is indeed sensitive, that boy."

"You were listening."

"He knew I was outside."

"Hm. I do not know what he was talking about."

Allan picked a spot beside the makeshift bed. "Is that so?"

Perhaps Torgal did, somewhat. Watching Allan's boy rest made him feel peaceful. This was a boy born of the love of three people. To Torgal, he was as much his son as he was Allan and Imogen's son. He loved the boy even before they met - even before he was born. But this was something he would not dare to say to Allan, for fear of insulting that which was sacred to him.

"I know what you're thinking," said Allan when he got no response. "For the first time in all these years, I've found the straight line that is your mind."

"He looks very much like Immi."

"You look at him the same way you look at David."

"As beautiful as she was, and as spirited as you are."

"Stop and listen, you imbecile. Do I need to remind you that he is named after you?"

_Torgal._

Something welled up in Torgal's chest.

"Go on. It's something she and I both want."

Finally, he fell silent. His eyes were on Allan's, seeking the truth in those words. And he found it.

In slow motion, Torgal bent down, kissed his namesake on the forehead and then pressed his cheek to the boy's, as per their race's custom on how a father should receive his newborn. He whispered the words he never thought he would utter in his life.

"It is an honour to meet you finally, my son."


	17. Chapter 17

The cities of Nagapur were, of course, unlike the villages of Eulam, but the evidence of battle, the fearful faces, and the constant tremors under foot reminded Rush of what had happened to his homeland. Even when one's aim was to liberate rather than invade, large-scale destruction seemed inevitable.

He and Khrynia met a woman called Violet, who took them to Ghor's base camp in Flussbahn. Thanks to last minute lessons from Pagus before leaving Athlum, Rush was able to understand the annotated maps and talks of strategies when they got there.

He didn't manage to find out about what David wanted to know the most, though.

He watched David amble away from where Allan's son was resting, amble past him, pick up his personal items and amble towards a little alcove. Sleeping bag tucked under an arm, Rush hesitated for a bit and then decided he would go and sleep next to David unless he was told to go away.

"Hey. You've found a cosy spot."

"Rush." David looked up from the map he must have already studied to the death.

"The patrol can't see you here. You're gonna need your shiny knight to protect you." Hell, he was starting to sound like Khrynia.

David tilted his head, but otherwise gave no reaction.

Okay, maybe he wanted some time to himself before the big fight. "I'll go sleep just outside."

It wasn't until Rush turned around that David snapped out of his daze. "Rush, come back. I am sorry, my mind was elsewhere." He got up from where he sat and moved his things aside to create some space.

Yes, Rush thought he recognised that look. "You do that. Most of the time you're really sharp and you go, wham! Bam! Job done." Rush rolled out his sleeping bag and plopped down on top of it. "And then you go off somewhere in your own universe and I have to wave and shout, 'Daveeeeeeee, how's the weather over there?'"

At the sight of Rush flailing his arms in the air, David shook his head, chuckling softly. "I am all right. You don't need to make me laugh."

"It's true though." Rush lowered his arms. "What's going on in your universe?"

David fussed about with his things for a while, then slipped inside his sleeping bag, zipping it all the way so that it cocooned around him snugly except for his head. He was taking his time to come up with something to say.

"Everything is fine."

Rush didn't say anything. He didn't try to look convinced, either. He had a nagging suspicion that David hadn't slept a wink last night, and hardly the night before. But he couldn't always be checking because he needed his own rest too, so each night he left David with a capful of the stuff from Emma. But David didn't drink it.

David did say he had come to terms with what was going to happen to his father, but Rush wasn't naive enough to believe him completely or to think that was the only thing David Nassau, soon to be Lord of Athlum, had to worry about.

"Please, Rush. Don't worry about me. I just want to keep my focus for tomorrow, that is all."

Not sure how he should feel about this, Rush sighed, got the hip flask and poured out a capful, right up to the brim, just as he did the nights before. "Here."

The gaze that fell on the medicine was not one that Rush could find a single word to describe. The closest he could get to was "dread." "Thank you. I'll take it if I need to."

"Yeah right," Rush snapped, then realised he had lost his patience. "Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I simply..."

They stared at each other and, as abruptly and unlikely as it was, started to laugh. There they were, apologising to each other again!

Rush coughed a little. Laughing was good. He felt his own tension drain a bit. "You what?" he asked.

"I don't want you to think I am dependent on it, like a drug addict of sorts."

"What?" That was just ridiculous. "Geez, I don't think of you like that! And hey, the last thing you ever need to worry about is me. You've got a billion things going on. I don't want to become the one-billion-and... oneth? Or is it one-billion-and-first?"

David laughed again. "That is a question you will have to put to Pagus," he said. "But thank you."

"Then..."

David's eyes shifted. "It's also the taste..."

"Don't tell me it tastes disgusting." That was something Irina would complain about, not David.

"No, of course not. It..."

Rush waited.

"It reminds me of something."

Rushed waited again.

David brought a hand to his face. "I cannot say any more. It's not something which you don't already know, but I cannot bring myself to discuss it right now. At the risk of sounding childish and ungrateful, I have to ask you to please..." he broke off, rubbing his forehead heavily. "Please don't think you have to tread carefully around me. But tonight I do ask for your tolerance."

"Okay." There was little Rush could say apart from that when it looked like David was close to breaking down. He lay down as well.

"You've gotta sleep, somehow. People expect me to throw myself between you and danger and it'd be crap if you missed my death throes coz you were nodding off."

"I thought you disliked such kind of talk; you gave me a piece of your mind the first time I mentioned my head being on a spike." They were both whispering now.

"Bad influence from you." Rush looked shiftily around them. "I've got a good idea on what to do that'd wear you out and make you sleepy, but... maybe we're in the wrong place."

David groaned, or at least tried to, but his version of a groan was far too elegant to really be effective. "Don't put that idea in my head."

"You're the one who suggested it first, back in the Final Fortress!" Not that Rush hadn't been thinking about it all the time anyway, but he wasn't going to say that. He edged himself closer, wriggling with great difficulty inside his sleeping bag until he was right up against David. "I don't think anyone'd see us here..."

"You cannot be serious."

"I wish I could be." How Rush wish they could, right here. What he really intended to do, though, was something else. It would either be a great idea or the stupidest and corniest thing ever, but it was worth a try.

When Rush took the cap of medicine and drank from it, David realised what he was going to do and actually laughed. But he did let himself be fed and after that, kissed Rush very thoroughly.

David was still a damn good kisser. The head rush afterwards was wonderful. Rush flopped down with a thud. "Did you take enough or should we do it again?"

"We spilled some, but I do not think I will remain awake for much longer."

"Good."

"I suddenly remembered something you said a few nights ago that I meant to ask you about."

"What did I say?"

"That you wish I was less strong."

Oh, that. That would not be easy to explain. Rush rolled onto his side, seeing that David's face was already relaxing. Oh well, he could talk him to sleep.

"Before I got the warrior licence, I worked at a blacksmith as an apprentice. It was my first job. I was quite good at it."

David blinked slowly.

"I helped make all sorts of stuff. Drain pipes, fences, gates, wheels, farming tools... anything that's got iron in it, I'd probably made it before."

"This isn't what I asked... but it's interesting. I won't be able to hear all of it though... I'm already..."

"Do you know what cast iron is, Dave?"

"Yes..." Dark eyes slid close.

"It's a type of material that's almost pure iron, with just little bits of other things added to it. It's really strong. It doesn't dent, doesn't bend or rust or anything. I think you're just like..."

David was asleep.

Just like cast iron. Strong, solid, doesn't budge. But such strength comes at a price. Because it would not bend, when subjected to too much force, it simply breaks.

Looking at David, all that Rush learned about metal stress and fatigue came back to him. If only he was less strong. If only he was more selfish. If only he could say something other than "everything is fine" when asked "what's wrong." If only he would allow himself to cry, to scream. If only he didn't have to be held together by pure willpower.

People would start wondering where they were and find them here, but Rush pulled down the zips of their sleeping bags a little anyway, enough for him to slip an arm around David. It would take a lot more to stop David from breaking apart, but for now this would have to do.

The first person to come looking turned out to be Torgal. "Lord David? Ah... my apologies."

"'s okay. He's asleep though."

"That is fine. We just needed to know where you two are. And..."

Ears pulling back a little, Torgal seemed hesitant. Rush started, surprised - he was beginning to be able to interpret this "ears" thing Blocter told him about. "Yeah?"

"No, it is okay. I will talk to him tomorrow."

"Right."

"Good evening."

"Good night."

Given how much he had been thinking about the big fight tomorrow and how scared he was about it, Rush slept surprisingly soundly. Perhaps he'd ended up drinking some of Emma's medicine by accident. By the time he woke up - which was not later than he was meant to - half the people were up and raring to go. David had already got changed and was tidying his things. He told him that Khrynia had taken Allan and young Torgal to Ghor's camp in Flussbahn, where it was the safest.

"Having slept through the night, I feel very much better. Thank you."

Rush felt bad about waking up later than everyone. "Is Allan coming back to Athlum later?"

"He didn't say, but I hope so." David checked his sword. Unlike when he travelled alone, this time he brought the Valeria Heart. "I gave Torgal the option to leave should Allan chooses not to stay."

That was not something Rush ever thought he would hear. It was impossible to imagine Torgal, the leader of Athlum's Four Generals, leaving. His gaze fixed on David, Rush waited for an explanation.

"Torgal came to serve Athlum upon invitation, but he only accepted because he could not stay at where he was, and he has already served Athlum for eighty years. Now that the chance of living the life he wanted has come up, it would be unfair of me to keep him." David wasn't looking at Rush when he said this, hiding his eyes under his blond fringe. "I cannot deny him his family."

"But, Dave..." But wasn't Torgal David's family, too? How could he give Torgal up just when he was about to lose his father?

"Pardon my insolence, my lord, but don't be absurd."

"Torgal?"

The sovani was at the entrance, looking ready for battle. When he entered the alcove, he left his weapons at the foot of the wall.

"My apologies for the late answer. It took me a while to decipher what you meant last night."

David's voice was soft. "Have you reconciled with Allan?"

"Our lives are long enough for us to watch kingdoms rise and fall, let alone for broken relationships to be mended and for hatred to dissolve into nothingness. Don't concern yourself with our problems. This is not to say I do not thank you from my heart for what you have done."

Mouth opened slightly, David looked up at Torgal, his brows gathered.

"That's... a lot of words, coming from you."

"In short, he and I are working on our problems, and I have no wish to go anywhere."

David dipped his head. "Thank you."

"The point is moot in any case. Allan will take on the task you've discussed with him, he told me so this morning. Also, he should be returning from Ghor's camp as we speak. If you permit, he wishes to aid us in the forthcoming battle."

"I shall not deny him the chance of vengeance. We can only kill Hermeien once, after all. If he wishes to personally take Hermeien's life, however, he will have to fight me first."

The comment made them all smirk.

At last, David took half a step back and breathed in deeply.

"Let us make our final preparations. I will speak to everyone before we leave. We are storming the dragon castle of Nagapur and taking Wilfred Hermeien's head."

"Yes, my lord."

David stood there, stupefied, as Torgal got back to his tasks. Rush went over and put a hand on David's shoulder.

"That's a weight off your mind, hmm?"

"I don't understand. Why should he choose to serve me when he could..."

Recalling his conversation with Emmy the night before they left Athlum, Rush wondered if David himself would ever understand that there was something about him that drew others and called for their loyalty. Maybe not, since David seemed to lack the fibre for the good kind of self-awareness.

But then again, was loyalty all there was to it? For Rush that certainly wasn't the case. And the fact that he was in love with this guy probably was only the last reason on the list. David didn't only lead - he inspired.

"Well, I dunno, but I've heard Allan talking to Torgal and saying 'your son' when he means you."

Eyes wide, David didn't say a thing. Then he smiled and nodded to himself. After checking that the scabbard of the Valeria Heart was secured properly to his belt, his eyes met Rush's.

"Let's go."

Allan returned just in time. The troops lined up in their groups. David inspected them all and, instead of giving a speech the way Rush thought he would, said only a few words: for the glory of Athlum. And he realised that was enough, really. That was all David needed to say.

As afraid as Rush was, he was ready.

The men inside the castle were from the Third Committee; Rush recognised the symbols on their uniform. But unlike his first encounter with them, when he nearly got killed, Rush was doing the killing. He was a different man. He could be ruthless. He could kill. He believed in what he was fighting for and this was what had to be done. Even if his enemy's eyes sent chills right to his bones, the glint of their weapons made him shudder in terror, and their screams made his blood curdle, he could do it.

He was no longer the coward who only thought about protecting what he believed in. He was actually doing it. The warm blood of men and women spattered on his face, their guts spilling when he pulled his sword out from their bodies. He had never sweat so much in his life, he was dizzy and he felt like he could throw up everything he'd eaten in the last few days. And he probably would, once this was all over. But hell if he was going to mess this up now.

Their division was only twenty in size but had the strongest fighters. With their enemies' attention diverted between stopping them and the siege from outside, they had rushed through the grand halls and moved onto the second floor when the marble floor beneath their feet trembled, followed by a explosion-like sound Rush had never heard before but somehow knew was the splintering of wood upon impact. Torgal's division of a hundred men, along with Ghor's forces, had broken through the palisade. During that brief moment of respite when their enemies tried to reorganise themselves, David talked to him for the first time since entering Wyrmskeep.

"You're coping?"

It was as if David knew what Rush was going through. Perhaps he went through the same thing in his first big battle.

Rush only nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

"Control your emotions. Don't let them control you." David edged himself closer. "Stay strong. You can do it."

Rush's answer was another nod.

"We're going to the top." David repeated that with a louder voice, then, as if he just remembered something, dipped his head towards Rush again. "Ah, yes, Khrynia asked me to tell you this: 'I'm totally right here beside you.' She offered a massage later on but I turned it down on your behalf."

Rush barely had the time to snigger before they were moving again.

Designed part like a palace and part like a castle, Wyrmskeep was far larger in size than Athlum Castle, but in their planned route up to the top they crossed paths with Torgal and Allan twice. Outnumbered by two to one, it didn't take long for the Nagapurians to realise there was no way they could win. Some chose to stay and fight, others chose to run. All were killed. History taught that Hermeien and his Third Committee would never truly concede defeat, but would regroup and strike again. Fighting such people, mercy would be a deadly mistake.

Everything went like clockwork, a result of exhaustive planning that must have went on for years and, Rush believed, David's leadership. But a small voice in his mind asked, whenever he got some time to breathe between battles and running from place to place, if the rest of this would go quite so smoothly, and if David's father was already dead. He tried not to pay attention to the voice, because they could only go forward now.

Finally, it was a matter of searching for Wilfred Hermeien. There was always a chance that he would leave by a secret passage - Athlum Castle had a few of them which Pagus showed Rush on the day he was knighted - so they had to be fast. Of their original division, they had lost two, and another two sustained bad injuries. Even so, they split up into smaller groups to speed up the search.

The top floor was Hermeien's private quarters. Rush followed David, going through room after room after room. The longer it took, the more Rush felt he could not do this any more. It was easier to keep fighting. Now he could not release the tension that had built up inside and the fear of not reaching the ultimate goal, and therefore failing those who had died and those who were still fighting below them, failing Eulam, failing Athlum and Lord Rolan, failing David, made Rush want to clutch at his head and just scream.

"We will find him."

Did David just read his mind?

"We will find him."

David was talking to himself. Teeth clenched, he muttered the words under his breath, and it was then that Rush noticed how dark David's expression had become.

He paused. What right did he have to fear? This was, in every way, the biggest battle of David's life. Rush did not have the right, or the time, to fear failure. He had to support David.

"We'll find him!" Rush could not tell if it was a newfound courage or a sense of duty that made him say that. He grabbed David's arm. "Let's keep going."

It was difficult to tell how long it took when a minute felt like an hour, but some of the soldiers found Hermeien eventually. When they hurried over, the soldiers were engaged in battle with Hermeien's men in a drawing room. On the other side of the room, Hermeien was standing on a chair and opening some windows behind a desk.

"Hermeien!" David tried to get across but blades came his way. They were outnumbered.

"Dave! Go!" Rush threw himself into the battle, trying to remove the obstacles. Somehow this reminded him of the time outside the village, when they were also overwhelmed by the enemy and time was limited. David would not use the Gae Bolg this time - his troops were engaged in battle and he would never kill his own men even if it was in order to kill Hermeien. Rush could not do this alone. If only Allan was here, like that time.

Changing tactic, Rush positioned himself between David and their enemies. If he couldn't kill them quickly enough he would still have to make them back off, somehow, otherwise it'd be too late. Even if he had to charge at them recklessly like a mad man, as long as he could create a gap for David to slip through, he would do it.

"Good God, Rush, what do you think you're doing?"

Even in such a situation, hearing that voice made Rush grin.

The entire atmosphere of the room changed when the sovanis arrived, covered in blood like gods of death. Rush had no idea what he himself looked like at this moment and that was the last thing on his mind right now.

"I didn't know such a pitifully hideous group could exist in one place," said Allan, then the sovanis jumped straight into the heart of the battle.

The tides were turned. The mere presence of the sovanis frightened their enemies. Suddenly Athlum's side was cutting down Hermeien's forces like a whirlwind. When only Athlum's men were left standing, David crossed the room and grabbed hold of Hermeien, who was climbing out the window, throwing him onto the desk below.

"Damn you! Damn all you Nassaus! What's this, you think you're so full of justice? You have the Gae Bolg! You blew my entire army out with it, the army I spent years building! How's that justice, how's that fair? You keep the secrets to Gae Bolg to yourselves, you think you're better than everyone else, well I know what you Nassaus are really up to! Curse you!"

It was impossible to see from David's angle, but clear from Rush's side that Hermeien was reaching for something under the desk. Rush and Allan both dashed towards him, but Torgal was faster, pushing David out of the way a split second before a trap door opened under his feet.

"Torgal!"

Rush and Allan both dropped themselves to the floor to try to reach for Torgal, who was falling into the darkness that was meant for David. They each caught a hand - or to be precise, Rush caught a hand whereas Allan caught the sword Torgal was still holding. Although Allan's grip was on the part of the blade that was the most blunt, near the hilt, his metal gauntlets over thin leathers provided little protection to the palms of his hands. Rush held on tighter, balancing between falling in and stopping Torgal's weight from going down any further and slicing Allan's hand open even more, but he could not possibly support the weight of a seven-foot-tall sovani all by himself.

"Allan... how reckless!" Blood dripped onto Torgal's face.

"It's not the first day you know me." Allan gritted his teeth. Reaching to grab Torgal's wrist with a different hand, Allan let go of the sword. One of his own swords had fallen down the trap and only now did they hear it bounce off something metal several times, then hit the bottom.

"Do you require assistance?" He was smiling despite the state of his hand and what was happening around them.

"What happens to me is none of your business," was Torgal's reply.

They pulled Torgal up. David had also got up, already moving towards the exit, where Hermeien was trying to make his escape.

David sank the Valeria Heart into Hermeien's chest.

Rush reached for the desk. He could not stand up any more. It wasn't from exhaustion, or the blood, or the sight of Wilfred Hermeien being killed before his eyes. It was because David screamed.


	18. Chapter 18

Rush watched the rest of the events as if he was a mere bystander.

Hermeien's body was decapitated, the Valeria Heart swung with such force that it became buried half way into the desk on which the corpse lay. Holding the head by the hair, David went out to the front balcony of Wyrmskeep and held it up in the air, fresh blood dripping. All around them, the people roared. It was as if it wasn't just the soldiers, but the entire country, that was shouting for joy. David said something that made them cheer again, but Rush could not hear what it was. He wondered if David could hear what he was saying himself.

Someone came to take the head to put it on a spike and display it on the balcony. Allan said birds would come to eat it, eyes first, followed by the flesh. The thought made Rush's stomach churn, but Lord Rolan would have loved to see this, he knew.

Allan's hand, tendons severed and cut to the bone, was stitched back together once they arrived at the Flussbahn camp. If he was a mitra, the injury would have rendered that hand useless, but hopefully he would regain full use of it in a few months. "A mere blink of an eye for a sovani," he said. "You're paying too much attention to a paper cut."

They left him alone since he needed to rest after the blood loss. David spent a moment with Torgal next, not really saying anything. Going to the temporary canteen, he made a cup of tea for Torgal. When it came to matters of the heart, actions spoke louder than words. David was that kind of a person.

David came over to Rush after that.

"Rush, how do you feel?"

Rush couldn't reply. He moved away from the canteen, put a hand on the nearest sturdy thing and retched, though there was nothing to bring up since he hadn't dared to eat anything since the morning. He didn't care about the blood or the head on a spike, but the intensity of what he had been through today, and the meaning it held, made his stomach twist and his head spin. He wanted to collapse and pass out.

"Yeah, I'm..." he pulled off a bloodied glove and wiped his mouth with a hand, "I'm okay. Well, a bit of a mess, but okay."

"You've done very well. I know how difficult this is, and you even held me together. I honestly could not have done this without your support. Thank you."

David was kept busy. The reorganisation of the troops and treatment for the injured was nothing new to the seasoned army, but discussions with Ghor could only be handled by David. The Lord of Ghor and David talked until late afternoon. Rush requested to sit in and listen but was told to rest instead.

"But when's Dave gonna rest?" he asked, but Torgal did not give him an answer.

When David came out of the meeting, all he said was, "my father was victorious."

They stayed at the camp that night to rest up, then began the journey home, joining the main army on the plains outside Nagapur to travel together. The job of maintaining order at Nagapur was left to Ghor for now.

The flags were flying at half-mast when they arrived home. The carriage carrying Lord Rolan went through the gates first, followed by David on his horse. There were customs and rules Rush did not know that Emma had to help him with, just like when he first arrived in Athlum a few weeks ago, but overall he managed.

Lord Rolan lay in state in Athlum Castle's ceremonial hall. On the first night back, Rush found David there, alone save Emma, who was standing as the honour guard for the first half of the night. A single candle was lit next to her, tears of white wax running down its sides.

"Good timing, Rush. Come over here for a minute," said David when he heard the echoes of Rush's footsteps from just outside. "Emma, could you..."

Rush went in, aware of how unusually loud his footsteps were inside the hall. He stood by David's side, waiting to see what David wanted to say as Emma moved away, fading into the shadows but not leaving.

David gestured in front of Rush. "Come, look at my father."

Rush had already paid his respects, first outside Nagapur and again when they returned. For someone who had fallen in battle, Lord Rolan looked extremely peaceful. His right arm, purposefully shown to the public, was completely black, reminding Rush of the time when David used his Gae Bolg. The thought that it could be David lying in front of him made him breathe in sharply, and he wanted to grab David's hand.

"One man is not meant to control too much power. This is why those who use the Gae Bolg will die of it; it is nature's way to prevent great tragedies. But even so, one who can use the Gae Bolg can still cause huge amounts of death before one expires."

Rush nodded.

"This is something that all the Generals had already sworn to me the day I mastered the Art, and I shall ask you, my knight, to do the same: if I ever abuse the power given to me by the Gae Bolg, you must deliver my end without hesitation."

The words weighed heavily in the air, but to give David this oath was not difficult; Rush knew he would never have to do something like that. "Yes, my lord."

"Thank you." David's smile was very small, but genuine. "Another thing." His gaze was on his father again. "About what Hermeien said, that my family keeps the Gae Bolg to ourselves..."

"You don't need to listen to guys like him."

"Each generation of my family has to decide whether or not to pass the Art on. It was perhaps the greatest struggle in my father's life, but he taught me, in the end. I never did tell him that just learning it nearly killed me, but that was my own fault for not being strong enough." David chuckled dryly at himself. "It is my wish for the Gae Bolg to die with me, although it may only be wishful thinking."

Could they not talk about something else? Why all of this, right now?

Rush bit his lips. Perhaps this was the very moment they needed to talk about it, however difficult it was.

"Regardless, there are those who think the Nassaus have an agenda. As you spend more time working for Athlum, you will see that Hermeien was not the only one to think that way. And that is all right, Rush. People fear excessive power because not one single person is supposed to have so much of it. They are right to fear. And if I, or any of my ancestors, had taken one step towards evil, then what people fear would have been realised. Any Nassau could have easily become like Hermeien."

"I don't think..."

"If you ever hear such words uttered, let them speak. There is no way to suppress people's minds and any attempt to do so will backfire. In the end, we can only prove ourselves by our deeds, rather than words."

"Yeah..." Once again, it was actions over words. That was the sort of person David was. He might say he had problems telling others how he truly felt, but if only people would learn to look, they would know.

David smiled again. "It is easier said than done. One day you will face these people - doubters, conspiracy theorists, naysayers - and you will see what I mean. Or Emma can tell you all about it."

"Hmm." Rush was not looking forward to hearing about those people. This wasn't what concerned him the most about what he'd just heard, though. But he didn't want to bring that up. This wasn't the place and he was assuming far too much.

"Rush, do you remember I said before that your face is easy to read?"

Oh, crap.

Rush stuffed his hands into trouser pockets. "It's nothing."

David frowned at him.

"Fine." If David wanted an answer, nobody could keep it from him - that was a fact. But maybe Rush could turn this to his advantage, somewhat. "If I tell you, I get to ask you something later and you've gotta answer honestly."

An eyebrow arched, but David nodded. "Fair enough."

"I was just thinking, you said you might have to teach the Gae Bolg to the next generation."

"Yes... ah."

"Look, it's nothing. I don't... you know." He should have thought about this before, but he didn't want to. Having it mentioned out loud made it impossible to avoid, though. Rush just wanted to have more time before having to face it. God, he didn't doubt how David felt about him, but how old were they, and how important was Rush compared with Athlum? "I totally, totally understand."

David looked sorrowful. "That was insensitive of me. I should have picked my words more carefully."

"Nah, it's just fact. Don't worry about me, okay?"

"That... was one of my biggest worries until I talked about it with Emma two years ago." They both looked towards the shadows into which Emma retreated. Emma was keeping her silence, respectful of her duty as the honour guard and of David and Rush. "She reminded me that I have an aunt."

Rush didn't know that. He wasn't familiar with David's family tree. "Oh."

"There are options. Not all of them are ideal, but something will be worked out."

"Right." Damn, he felt silly.

"Then, to make this fair - your question?"

Rush paused.

He heard his own heartbeat. He thought he could hear David's, too, and Emma's. And their breathing. He had his question, had been wanting to ask for a long time. Had, in fact, asked many times but was always given the same generic answer, a reflex action from David, or an act of self protection.

He pulled his hands out, wanting to grab David by the shoulders but letting them hang by his side for now. "How are you, Dave?"

"Is that all?" David tilted his head to one side. "Or is that a trick question?"

"I mean, _how are you?_ " Rush lowered his voice, and inched a little closer to David. "If you asked me that, I'd tell you that I just came back from war, I saw the man I hate the most in my life die. My head nearly blew up from the pressure but I'm so glad I went and did it."

"It was very hard for you. It will take time for you to process all that has happened."

"If you asked me again, I'd tell you that the lord of the country I serve has died in battle. Gloriously, and expected. But still, he died. When I went to pay my respects, I felt so proud, yet so useless. I don't know. I've hardly talked to him, but I wish it didn't have to be this way."

Teeth grazed David's lip.

"It's your turn - how're you?"

"I'm - "

"Don't just blow me off with that stock answer."

This startled David, who darted his eyes to the side.

"I am glad that we found Allan's son and that Allan will help us with Nagapur's recovery. His skills are much needed and I don't want Torgal to leave, which is selfish and unreasonable, but true," he said, pausing briefly. "Lord Qubine visited today even though he is still very frail. His wife is due in three months' time. He asked me if the child is a son, if he may use Rolan as the middle name. I said yes, certainly."

But that was about other people. David had not answered the question, probably unconsciously avoiding doing so.

Here was someone with the worst kind of self-awareness, who tried to handle everyone else's burden on top of his own, as if the weight he already carried and the shackles on his feet were normal, and he had learned to live with this pressure so that he was no longer aware of its effects on him. Here was someone who suffered persistent insomnia, had a country to run, and whose father had just died. And he hadn't even -

"By the look on your face, I guess I have not answered your question."

"No." Rush's hands were back in his pockets, pulling the lining, his arms stiff, shoulders tense. They were polar opposites when it came to talking about themselves. Rush did not know what else he could do. He couldn't just keep pushing. That was what people said about him, that he always crashed his way head-first into everything like a battering ram.

Then, from the silence came Emma's voice. "Lord David, if I may." She stepped forward, letting the dim light illuminate parts of her face. She wore a uniform of black velvet, and her hair was brushed away from her face and tied up, revealing the scar on her face. Right now, she was not androgynous, but genderless. She was every man and woman of Athlum; she represented the grief of this country.

"Yes, Emma?"

"I think what Rush wants to ask is if you have wept for Lord Rolan yet."

The answer took a long time to come and when it did, it was very short. "No."

"Allow yourself to grieve. It is a process you must go through."

"I cannot."

"It's not a weakness, Lord David. I cried until I passed out when my husband died."

"It isn't that I would not, Emma. It is that I cannot."

"I don't understand."

Once again, silence. Emma moved further, coming to stand in front of David and Rush.

David looked calm, but Rush wondered if he felt the way he looked. "Do you remember my mother's funeral eight years ago?"

"Yes. You had not shed a tear. Many thought you were in too much shock."

"I think my explanation to you back then was that I had to be strong for my father."

"Yes."

"My mother did not die from her sickness. I poisoned her. A different poison from the one Father requested, which enabled him to have the strength to use the Gae Bolg one final time."

Rush felt his throat close up. How could David say that so placidly?

After a while, Emma dipped her head. "I thought Lord Rolan's sudden recovery was suspicious, but Lady Isabel..." She started to reach out for him, but arms stopped in mid-air, shaking, hesitant. "You couldn't have... you were twelve!"

"Age made no difference; I understood what was happening. Father could not give her the quick death she requested, so I did it. I forbade myself from showing pain after that, because Father was grieving and he needed not be burdened with the guilt of what I did in his place as well," said David, brows furrowing. "But since then, somehow... try as I might, I have not been able to cry." He looked past Emma's shoulder, his voice beginning to tremble, "I think I have lost that privilege when I killed my own family. Such an act, no matter the reason, makes one a monster. Monsters do not have tears."

A hand grasped David's arm. "You are so very strong. But what has that strength done to you?" Emma whispered. It was clear she wanted to hold him, but formality, especially right now, would not allow her to do so. "What have you done to yourself?"

David had no answer. He looked at her, his eyes pained, but dry. "I don't mean to disrespect my parents. I just... cannot..." He closed his eyes. "Forgive me."

"Don't apologise." She let him go. Her voice was tight. "I only wish I realised the truth then. I would not have allowed this to fester inside you for eight years."

"I'm sorry. Until recently, I have not found the courage to talk about it."

"Stop apologising." Rush spoke then, quietly. "And you're no monster."

"Rush knows his monsters. I think you can believe him, Lord David."

The corners of David's lips curved upwards slightly, though the expression was fleeting.

"Well, it's really late and I'm tired, so let's go." Rush looked at David's hand. Thinking about the time at Siebenbur's Final Fortress, he took it. Nothing to worry about. "I'm going to make him cry, if you don't mind," he told Emma.

Both Emma and David choked a laugh. "I wish you success," she replied, going back to where she originally stood. The candle's flame lit up her face just as tears began to brim in her eyes.

"Don't, Emma. Not for me. It only makes me jealous of you."

"Already showing your tyranny." Heaving a dramatic sigh, she wiped her eyes. "What will become of Athlum?"

David chuckled and said good night.

Rush and David walked through the corridors of the castle, which were quiet but not totally silent. With guards patrolling, deliveries arriving, bread being baked for the morning and everything else that kept such a place running smoothly every day, the castle was never truly asleep. Every time they saw someone, they nodded and received a small bow in return.

Nearing the central garden that divided the lord's solar from the guest wing, their footsteps slowed.

"Would you..."

"I'll go get my PJ's."

David slept better sharing a bed, Rush already noticed this a long time ago. What this meant wasn't something he wanted to analyse. He could say David was insecure as easily as he could say that David simply liked the additional warmth. Hell, He could even say David liked his smell. He would rather wait for David to eventually tell him the reason rather than make assumptions, guesses or judgements.

"It is because of you that I was able to talk about it."

It? "Hmm?" In bed, Rush lifted his face from where he buried it in the crook of David's neck.

"What I said in front of Emma. You showed me how much about myself I've been holding back and how frustrating that can be for those who care about me."

"Nobody's perfect. You've got way too much tact and I don't know when to stop."

"Yes. But I appreciate your approach - it is exactly what I need. You are also much less crude than you claim to be."

That was very nice of him to say. Maybe Rush could believe it, even. "I think you broke yourself, Dave."

"Perhaps, yes."

"Try not to hold things in too much. Your feelings are important too, you know? Wouldn't hurt to ignore everyone and put yourself first, once in a while."

"Okay."

"And try not to apologise for everything. Let me do my duty and take the blame for your shortcomings."

David chortled, his hair tickling Rush's face when he tried to turn his head. "Why are you so good at making me feel helpless?"

"I don't know. Maybe you just have a low threshold?"

"I see."

"But you'll be fine." Rush shifted slightly. The body he was holding was finally starting to relax and feel more like human than warmed metal. "I'll make you cry," he let the hint of a smirk creep into his voice, "one way or another..."

"I look forward to it." David chuckled.

David fell asleep before Rush. He must be completely exhausted.

Rush closed his eyes. He finally knew where the problem was. Now he had to fix it. He didn't know how, but that wouldn't stop him.

David was a fighter - too much of a fighter. He knew how to control his emotions rather than let them control him. But how about when he was not on the battlefield? When he was on his own, or in the company of people he loved and trusted? There was no need for him to be constantly fighting. If only he could let go of a little bit of that rigid control, like he did the moment he plunged his sword into Hermeien. That scream was not the sound of something breaking apart, but of something breaking out.

Just like when Allan's son tried to make his escape, it would be easier and faster to dig from both sides.

It was time for prison break.

Battering ram at the ready.


	19. Chapter 19

David turned up half an hour before he was due to stand guard, crossing the velvet rope so that he could look at his father.

Torgal looked up at the glass dome above. The sky, bruised by dark clouds, had not brightened completely yet, and it was drizzling, just as it had the two times he stood here as honour guard in the past.

"You may go, Torgal."

David looked rested, to Torgal's relief. Unlike the Generals, who each stood for part of the first day, David was to remain here until the funeral tomorrow morning. It was good that he had had some proper rest beforehand.

"Have you eaten?"

"Yes," said David. "Would you please organise a covered walkway in the gardens? I don't want the people to get wet when they start to queue up."

Torgal did not doubt that Pagus had already got that arranged, but he nodded anyway. He only just about managed to stop himself from straightening David's collar, which was already perfectly straight, though David's eyes were laughing at him as if he could tell why Torgal's hands were twitching. But at last he let the boy begin his duty.

"Thank you. For everything."

When Torgal turned his head, David was standing in the spot he was in moments before, hands curled into loose fists by his sides and eyes looking straight ahead. It seemed like only yesterday when Isabel called him to the solar, exhausted from the birth yet smiling and laughing and crying all at the same time, and showed him her baby son. David was born with a headful of yellow hair and the loudest voice, but he quieted down when Torgal peered at him and, curling his hand around Torgal's finger, started to laugh.

A few years prior to that, Torgal had learned that Imogen had given birth to a son. It was then that Torgal stopped himself from periodically attempting to find out how Allan and Imogen were doing, because that was the closure he needed and a final sign that he no longer had any place in their lives. But meeting David revealed to him the gap he had been trying to ignore in his life.

Allan said that David was perceptive - that was sound observation. Perhaps since early on David already knew, consciously or not, that Torgal only saw him as something to close that gap, a wrong-shaped plug for a hole he could never fill.

But almost twenty-one years later, David was no longer a babe in arms, nor a substitute in Torgal's eyes. And when David gave him the option to leave, Torgal realised he could never abandon this boy, because this boy never abandoned him.

"No, thank _you_."

He was not very much tired, but he made his way back to the guest suites anyway since there was little to do at such an early hour. If he rested now he could spend longer hours later on helping Pagus with the immediate arrangements for Nagapur. Besides, if Emma found out he didn't rest after the guard duty she would most likely fuss about it. Whilst Torgal rather enjoyed her fussing - it was entertaining, to some extent, and very comforting - he did not want her to worry when she should be focusing her energy on David and Athlum.

He stopped. Someone was waiting outside his suite.

Torgal opened the door. "Come in."

Allan's son shuffled his way inside, putting as little pressure on his injured knee as possible. One of his arms was plastered and in a sling. Torgal gestured at a table and went to brew some tea. His namesake sat down, casting his gaze out the window. It was raining still.

Although he had not yet reached his full sovani height, young Torgal was older than David and by no means a child. He was an attractive man, just like his father. The hair that had tangled and matted during his ordeal at the aqueducts had been brushed out, but it had a natural messiness. He had chosen to have his ear reattached, not to hide the injury - the scar was obvious and probably would stay forever - but because he didn't want to look like he had been defeated by the likes of Hermeien and his dogs, Torgal heard. It was a very smart decision and indeed, young Torgal was not defeated. Anyone who saw the conditions of the aqueducts and the monster remains there would know he was a survivor. Torgal wondered if the boy was aware of just how proud both he and his father were of him.

After all that he had been through, young Torgal should be recuperating in the infirmary, but sovanis were not a people that listened to that sort of advice. Either they had given up trying to keep him in or he had walked out. Whatever the case, Torgal was glad for this opportunity to sit down with him. He went over to the table, put down a tray and served tea for them both.

"How is your arm?"

"Tell me about my mum."

It was likely that he had already heard all about Imogen from his father and other Steel Syndicate members, but Torgal still tried his best, recounting the event that led to their meeting, her integration into the Steel Syndicate, her integration into their lives. Her beauty, her blind faith for all that was good, her love for Allan. Her fears for an illness that affected generations of her family, and her determination to overcome it.

"So it was the sickness that killed her."

"Yes. It was not the fault of anyone, especially not Allan."

"Does he know?"

"He does now."

Young Torgal seemed to relax somewhat. He finished his cup of tea.

"Your father and I will be working together for the next few years on Nagapur's recovery."

"I heard."

"Then, is there anything else you'd like to know?"

"He told me what my mum's letter meant. That's all I need to know." Young Torgal rose from his chair. "Everything else is of no concern to me. I'm going back before the mitra woman throws another fit."

Torgal watched him leave. Strange as it was, he was happy. This was their first proper conversation. Young Torgal was very much his father's son, to such an extent that it was like déjà vu. He couldn't tell how young Torgal felt about him, perhaps he was indifferent, seeing as there was nothing that he wanted to know, but that was fine. He was not hated. Torgal would not ask for more than this.

He slept for a few hours, waking up in time for lunch. All through the meal Emma gave him looks, and she dragged him to the reading room afterwards.

"They retrieved Allan's sword," she told him.

Torgal knew what was coming as soon as he heard that.

"The sword he dropped down a trap you fell into. Torgal! Why didn't you tell me about that? You very nearly died!"

"But I did not. I did not even get injured."

Emma looked up at him, lips pressed together into a thin line, making it obvious that she was not happy about this. But eventually she sighed. "You need to be more careful. If Allan and Rush hadn't caught you..."

But had he not done it, David would be dead. He didn't want to reason with her, however, because she most likely knew that already and would have done the same thing had she been in his place. It did not mean she was not allowed to worry. Elric told Torgal once, before he and Emma married, that Emma could be unreasonable sometimes and he loved her for it. Torgal understood the feeling.

Allan used to be quite unreasonable on occasion as well.

"Yes. I apologise."

"You, Allan and his son, you sovanis are all alike."

Torgal remembered the conversation in his suite earlier. By "the mitra woman", young Torgal most probably meant Emma. "I can imagine Allan's son being a difficult patient."

Emma seemed stressed by the mention of this. "And somehow I am the person who tries to sort him out. I don't know why I put myself through this."

Torgal smiled.

"He's been asking me lots of questions, nearly chasing me around the castle with them. Not that he can walk very fast in his condition, mind you."

"Questions?"

"About you."

Torgal's lips parted in surprise.

"How long you've been here for, what sort of work you do, why you are working for Athlum..." Emma said, smiling gently, "he is very curious about you. But I have not said much because I don't know what you'd like him to know or not know."

The unexpected revelation made Torgal smile again before he could help himself. "He didn't ask me anything."

"He is a man," Emma said, as if that explained everything.

"You can tell him everything."

She studied him.

"Tell him all that you know, if he asks. You do remember what I told you some years ago, when you asked me those same questions."

She lowered her head, tucking a non-existent lock of hair behind her ear. "I thought you don't remember it. You were quite drunk then."

It wasn't a surprise that Emma thought that way. Two years after her husband died, they'd drank together, breaking Torgal's self-imposed rule on alcohol. The drink loosened his tongue and he told her the truth when she asked him what made him come to Athlum. He didn't regret it, because Emma cared about him and she could keep secrets, but it wasn't something he ever mentioned again.

"Are you sure I am right the person to tell him?"

"Yes, because you are not a man," he said to her, because that explained everything. "Then it will be up to him to draw his own conclusions."

"I guess this means you have talked to Allan."

"It hurt him a lot. I believe it is still hurting him."

"But he accepts you back in his life as his old friend."

"His acceptance was never what I was worried about."

Emma was visibly annoyed. "You need to start thinking about your own feelings. Lord David learns from you and you're setting such a poor example."

"Ah..."

After a frustrated sigh, Emma clasped Torgal's hand in hers, squeezing. "I'm going to talk to your namesake. Something tells me he admires you and he'll understand. Let's talk again later, old man."

She was gone before he could come up with a reply. He wanted to tell her, this woman whom he watched grow up, that it wasn't just David, Allan and young Torgal, that he loved her also, but he had never been good at saying these things. Perhaps it was because he was a man, or because he was a sovani, or simply because he was who he was.

Rolan's funeral took place on the third day of their return to Athlum. The rain still fell, although lighter than before, and David allowed Emmy to shield him with an umbrella after she said she was worried he might get sick; he was not as stubborn and needlessly prideful as his late father. Rush had also taken good care of him, making David take food breaks the day before, arguing that the rules only dictated the successor to be the honour guard for one full day, but did not say he was not allowed any rest. Blocter exercised his rarely-used sensitive side, made sure David was always as comfortable as possible and fended off anyone who wanted to express their condolences to David personally after he said he didn't really wish to speak with outsiders today.

Looking at the young ones, Torgal was relieved. The days would get brighter from here on.

After the funeral, work resumed. Communication from Ghor's representatives at Nagapur was starting to reveal what sort of relief the country needed, although it seemed to be only the tip of the iceberg at the moment. Long ago Athlum had already drawn up the initial plans on how to tackle this, and Pagus, Allan and Torgal had been fleshing out these plans into workable solutions.

"My, Allan, you are far better at this than you give yourself credit for."

"Hmph."

"It's true. I would never have thought of doing it this way. This is ingenious!"

"If you don't shut your mouth right now I will rip out that long tongue of yours!"

Torgal knew he should not find this entertaining, but he did. It had been too long since he felt so at ease. It was good that he wasn't the only sovani around, he was used to being the odd one out but the change was welcomed. Perhaps later Pagus would even start to field his history questions to Allan instead.

At the end of the day, just after Pagus went home, David showed up at the meeting room, still in his mourning clothes and carrying some bottles.

"Lord David."

"Torgal, I have something to ask of you." David put the bottles on the table. They were all fine wines, the type Allan liked. "I've promised Allan I would drink with him. But considering the circumstances and the work that is waiting for me, it would be deeply inappropriate. So would you please take my place?"

After a moment of silence, Allan threw his head back and started to laugh.

David clearly wasn't going to wait for Torgal to respond - it was a plank, but it was also an instruction, not a request. He made his way out. "Oh, yes. Torgal Junior asked me if there is work for him in Nagapur. Be sure to include him in your plans."

The door shut quietly. Reaching for the wine, Allan still had not stopped laughing. "Your son is very interesting."

Watching a bottle being opened and poured, Torgal decided he did not know what to say and therefore should say nothing. He did accept the glass, though.

Three glasses of wine later, there was a light buzz in his head and a nice heat in his ears, but neither of them were drunk yet.

"Have you figured out what you're worried about yet?"

This was a continuation of that conversation they didn't finish in Siebenbur. "Hmm." Torgal set down the glass on his knee. That weight had lifted when David said Allan's son wanted to go to Nagapur with them. "I wasn't sure if Torgal would agree to your working in Nagapur after his ordeal there."

"Well, that's not a problem any more."

"And..." What else was there? What was that feeling he got whenever he looked at David and Rush? "After so long, I am no longer sure about how I feel."

Allan was looking into his wine, as if there was something other than pale gold liquid in the glass. After a while, he drained it. "I don't know how I feel about you either, old friend." He refilled his glass, and Torgal's as well. "But what we have, if nothing else, is time."

That was true. So true that, when Torgal heard it, he laughed.

Once again staring into the wine, Allan was quiet for a few moments, deep in thought. Then he said, "I just remembered what you told me that time we got drunk together."

Torgal made a sound with his throat. He always remembered what he said and heard after having excessive alcohol. Allan, almost never.

"Damn it. You could have said it when I was sober."

"If you were sober I would never have said it."

"Coward," said Allan. "You are the most courageous coward I have ever had the displeasure of meeting."

Torgal just snorted. Allan was being unreasonable again.

"So, get drunk now, save the world tomorrow?"

"Yes, let us do that."


	20. Chapter 20

Rush did not know how to dance. Khrynia, on the other hand, did. Watching those two negotiate the dance floor together was amusing to say the least.

Ascension celebrations in Athlum inevitably followed the death of the previous Lord, and so they were always slightly subdued. Still, David could learn to enjoy it, even though his head had been hurting since a few days ago. He knew the reason behind that and didn't want it to be a cause of worry or distraction. This was the major changing point of his life and everyone was wishing him well, he could not possibly trample upon their kindness by enveloping himself in anguish. This was still considering other people's feelings and using them as his own motivation, miles away from actually putting himself before others, but the learning curve was steep and he believed he could be forgiven for this.

A new piece of music started. David asked Emmy for a dance.

"You look wonderful tonight."

She let him take her hand, on the verge of snickering. "And you are handsome as always."

"Is something funny?"

"It's just the way you said it..."

Emmy did not have much skills in dancing, having always shunned the classes in favour of sword practice, but that didn't really matter. It was just a fun way to spend some time together.

"Lord David, may I ask a question?"

"Certainly."

"When your mother passed away, I marched over to you and declared myself to be your older sister from then on. Did you... resent that?"

David remembered that event vividly. "Of course not. Why did you say that?"

"It's just that for a long time, I felt I wasn't what you needed... I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. It sounds like I'm accusing you. But I just want to be more useful to you."

For the next part of the music, David stayed silent, trying to find a way to put his feelings into words.

"There are different kinds of needs. From some people I seek guidance, from others I seek a trustworthy blade. You are capable of both, yet from you... you give me something else as well. Childhood memories, a good laugh, friendship, unflinching devotion, a hard knock on the head when I deserve one."

For a little while, it seemed like Emmy was about to cry, but she chose to laugh instead.

"I'm sorry I've caused you grief. Letting others know how I feel is not something I am good at, but I am working on it."

"My lord..."

"Thank you for all your hard work for Athlum, and for being such a great sister." He put his arms around her very gently. The last time he did this, they were still children and Emmy used to behave more like a boy than a girl. Now, she was a comely woman and David had to be much more careful. It would not do to embarrass her or upset any of her potential suitors. "And you truly do look beautiful tonight."

She hugged him back. "All the women here are wanting to kill me right now."

"Just wait until I dance with Rush."

And dance with Rush he did, if holding each other and simply shuffling their feet to music could be called dance. If anyone looked at them unkindly, he did not know because he'd closed his eyes. What other people thought didn't matter - this was his happiness.

So he was learning to put himself before others, after all.

The celebration went on late into the night. After the music faded, the guests departed and the lights turned off, David saw his generals to their coaches.

Emma boarded her coach, adjusting her dress as she did so. She looked dazzling in that dress. The heels she wore made her taller than David, but he didn't mind that because they made her even more stunning.

"Tomorrow begins your duties as the Lord of Athlum. I will be ready for your orders, my lord."

"I hope I will be able to do my father proud."

"You already do." Her daughter got on from the other side, and the driver was ready. "Good night then, Lord David. Do try not to let Rush distract you from your rest too much?" She gave him a certain look. Beside her, Emmy looked scandalised by what her mother just said.

"Oh, that I cannot guarantee," he replied with a crooked smile and waved them off. After Pagus's and Blocter's coaches pulled out as well, there was only the sound of the night in his ears. Outside his castle, at the highest point in the land, Athlum stretched out before him, her cities and towns mostly asleep, and Yarman Plain and Blackdale too far for view. His father's legacy.

His country.

David went back inside and looked for Torgal, who was packing his few belongings for his journey to Nagapur tomorrow.

Torgal answered the door, already dressed for bed. "Lord David? Is there something you need?"

"I just came to say good night."

"If you have need of me when I am in Nagapur, please do ring - "

"You will come back every few weeks, Torgal. I will be fine."

Blinking slowly, Torgal nodded.

"But I will still ring you even if nothing is happening, if you don't mind?"

How Torgal's face changed, and the way his ears tilted slowly forward, his single earring swinging gently with the movement, was quite incredible.

"Of course I don't mind. I would not want you to feel neglected."

Oh, that was brilliant. David chuckled a little, then said good night.

He walked around the castle, alone. Security had been stepped up, but everyone else, even those who usually worked at night to keep the castle running, had gone to bed, as per Athlum's tradition that all castle workers should get a full day of rest after an ascension. The rare silence highlighted the sheer size of this place David called home. And home it was, strange as it might be. The towers many people revered were where he played hide-and-seek with Emmy and Blocter, the gardens the public queued to see every spring, his front lawn.

And within these cold stone walls were the most important people in his life. The Generals and Emmy, a family he was born into although not related by blood. And Rush.

Where was Rush?

David followed his instinct and made his way back to the great hall. There Rush was, cravat removed and stuffed carelessly into a trouser pocket, its ends spilling out, and he was opening the buttons at his collar and cuffs. David walked into the dimly lit hall, pristine leather shoes hardly making a sound on the dance floor.

"You look good in those clothes."

"I look weird in them." Rush pulled a face at him.

"Do you think so? Did you not notice all the attention you were getting?"

"I noticed how much attention the Dragonslayer was getting."

David snorted. "Not you as well."

"What? I think it's a cool title."

"What it is is a fad."

"So? Loads of things are. These clothes are just fashion too."

David inclined his head, conceding the point to Rush. "But I do think you look good."

Rush smiled, wry.

"What are you doing here, Rush?"

"I don't know. Just want to hang around a bit. That was a good party. Not the sort I'm used to, but still."

It was far too formal, but it was a state event so there was no choice. "If you want to avoid these events in the future, just let me know. I won't force you to go."

A shrug. "I really think it was fine. I can't dance, but what the hey."

"We danced well together."

"Well, that's different," said Rush with a small smile.

They stood in the darkened hall, no words exchanged between them for a while. Earlier on in the evening there were silver utensils on starched tablecloths, exquisite foods, pleasing music, happy faces. Now this was just a very large, empty room. Perhaps he was the sentimental type of person who could see symbolism in everything and he was not in his strongest state of mind right now, but the change unsettled David.

"What's with this little furrow thing between your eyebrows?"

"Just a small headache."

Rush peered at him, looking concerned. "You okay?"

"It has been this way since I told Emma about my mother a few days ago. I cannot explain this, but although it's not comfortable, I feel as though this should happen."

It was almost as if his senses were slowly waking up and finally recognising something had built up inside of him over the years. Everyday, whenever Rush asked innocently, "how're you?", "everything good?", that something pushed upwards a little further. Even the simple question just now, and the look of concern from Rush, made the pressure intensify, spreading like a web. David knew he must not run away from its black tendrils.

"I'm not going to pretend to understand."

"I will explain as soon as I find the words to explain."

"There's no rush."

"Then who are you?"

David received a very unimpressed look, a combination of narrowed eyes and angry pout. He offered no apology, only a grin. The stare down lasted only a moment before Rush found the humour as well. His chuckles echoed in the hall.

David felt his chest was about to burst, his head about to crack open.

"Rush. Ask me that question again."

"Hm? About your eyebrows?"

"The one after that."

Rush caught on. "How're you, Dave?"

There the feeling was again, the desire to answer honestly, the desire to find the honest answer.

"I don't know."

There was so much David wanted to say. At the Final Fortress, he told Rush that he had come to terms with what was to happen to his father. That was not a lie, it was his father's choice and he was proud of him as he was proud of having the Gae Bolg. He accepted his mother's death and did not regret what he did. He killed the one man he had sworn to kill. He had spent all his life preparing for the role he finally took up today. He had people who he loved and trusted supporting him. Everything was fine. Everything was going to be fine.

And yet.

He leaned forward, resting his forehead on Rush's shoulder. A hand came to rest lightly on his head, fingers in his hair.

"You're upset."

"I think so, yes. You are right."

Rush said nothing more. Just waiting.

The pressure was in his head now, behind his eyes, between his ears, across his skull, everywhere, pulsating.

He choked, just once.

"Now, of all times... would it be ungrateful of me..."

"No." The fingers in his hair tightened. Perhaps Rush had more to say but decided what he said was enough. If anyone ever told Rush he was tactless, then they did not know Rush at all.

David stayed there, staring at their feet but seeing nothing.

He let go.

He heard himself scream. The sound was alien. The way his chest heaved, how every muscle trembled, was a foreign sensation. The pain in his head became a colour, his eyes saw nothing but white as years of sorrow bled out from the dark web that bound him, like the light of the Gae Bolg from the black markings on his arm. Powerful and devastating, yet comforting.

He breathed like a man on the verge of drowning, then screamed again. His anger, his frustration, the agony of watching his mother's condition deteriorate, the pain of the mercy killing. The wall of silence, unable to tell the truth to those he loved, disallowing himself from being affected by any of it. The fear of not being strong enough, of not being able to protect those who mattered to him, of causing disappointment to those who devoted their lives to Athlum only to serve a weakling. Watching the village in Eulam disappear in a sea of flames, a testimony to his powerlessness. The same fear as Emmy's - he was not what everyone needed. He was inadequate. He didn't master the Gae Bolg fast enough. He didn't grow up fast enough. He would live a life of regret and despair, just as he felt in Eulam.

He kept screaming, unsteady on his feet, losing balance, but two hands caught him, the grip firm, bruising, steadying him. Then he choked, and screamed again, choking. He missed his father. It was not fair. Killing Hermeien might mean saving a lot of people, but it didn't bring his father back. The poisoner had already been executed. There was no more vengeance he could take. His father was right, revenge was a dead end, but it was simply not fair. If it wasn't for Hermeien, they could have had so much more time together as a family. His father wouldn't have had to devote his life trying to secure peace, he wouldn't have had to die so young. It wasn't fair.

He tried to breathe, taking in air in short gasps.

Life, indeed, wasn't fair. Even though he had lost too much, too early, he had also been given an unfair amount of blessings. There was the mitra woman, his soul mate and mother figure; the sovani man, his mentor and a constant in his life; the qsiti teacher; the brother and sister. And now, Rush. All these people guided him, protected him, held him together when everything else fell apart. He never did anything to deserve them. If this was because he had the "natural charisma" Emma once told him about, then that was the best gift he could ever have.

He had lost a lot in his life, but he had also gained so much. And he knew when the wave of sorrow subsided, laughter would follow.

Breathless and drained, he thought he would fall, then realised Rush was holding him.

The arms around him shifted, supporting his weight better. "I've gotcha."

David wanted to say thanks, but only nodded instead, briefly wiping his eyes so that he could see. When he tried to speak, his voice was hardly recognisable, as if his throat had been rubbed against a whetting stone, perhaps a sign that he should just stay quiet and concentrate on breathing.

Rush waited again, and eventually David pushed himself off him after finding the strength to stand, his head dipped, a hand over his eyes in an attempt to dam the flow, with only some success. Knowing that he would not be judged was one thing, to have Rush put up with something like this with the patient of a saint was something else. It was liberating, although also embarrassing at the same time.

"So, here's where I come in with some crappy metaphor about how you can stand on your own but sometimes it's okay to lean on people," Rush said with a smirk, putting a hand on his hip the way he often did, his other hand rubbing his ear. He pulled a face. "Ow, I think I've gone deaf in one ear."

David could only smile and shake his head, slowly so that it felt less like his brain was rocking around in his skull.

Silence returned, this time settling over like a blanket, or sharing a bed with Rush - warm, comfortable. David felt calm beginning to return, the tremors within him subsiding, along with the throbbing in his head. Rush came to stand beside him, shoulder to shoulder, looking across the hall towards the balcony beyond a pair of glass doors. Not much could be seen at this hour, but David could picture the familiar sight of Athlum, all her cities and towns, rivers and mountains, and her people.

For the first time, he felt ready to take care of this country.

"Dave, I have a confession to make."

"What is it?" David had to cough hard to get his voice to function again. His throat felt as raw as the edges of his mind. He hoped Rush was about to make another joke rather than say anything serious.

"On the train to Ghor, I passed by your cabin on the way to the bathroom and saw you through the window on the door. I thought I'd seen you before. Anyway, you... caught my eye and I really wanted to talk to you, so..."

The revelation was a shock. "When you said someone unpleasant was in your cabin..."

"Yeah, that was a lie."

David laughed, incredulous. Thanks to this, he was starting to feel slightly more normal now. He could see why Rush picked this very time to reveal the truth. "You lied to me the moment we met. And I always thought you are a very honest person."

"You can't fault a guy for trying his chances!" Rush shoved his hands inside trouser pockets. "What'd you think if I went in and said 'hey, haven't we met before?'"

David shook his head once more in a resigned manner. Point taken. "Terrible chat-up line."

"See?"

"Does this mean," he was exhausted now, but also comfortable just standing here with Rush, which was the truth although it made no sense, "I was able to escape from the Third Committee, find the strength to handle what happened to my father, survive in monster-infested Siebenbur, repay a debt I owed Allan, take Wilfred Hermeien's life, and be able to smile as I stand here... all because you liked the look of me?"

"I didn't do most of that." Rush rocked back on his heels. "But, well, if you put it that way... yeah, I guess?"

"You did do all of that, and more."

"And more?"

"You stripped me of my - "

"Oh no, not that again!"

David gave Rush a sidelong glance. "You still don't like my throes of passion?" Hands behind his back, he strolled towards the door. "That hurts me, but I understand. You can sleep back in your own suite then. Good night."

Soft snickers came from behind him. "Is that the castle's equivalent of getting relegated to the sofa?"

David could barely hide his own amusement. He half turned as Rush caught up with him. "Of course not. I simply don't want to force you to sleep in my bed."

"You could come sleep in mine instead."

They stopped. Eyes met in the semi-darkness. Rush shifted on his feet. "That's if you like... you did say, when we were in Siebenbur..."

"I did." David's heart beat faster again, but for a different reason. "I guess I am in a bit of a state right now, but if you still like the look of me..."

Rush was laughing. "I sure do."

David smirked. "Then take me to your room and do your worst."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is all! This fic was written 3.5 years ago, looking back on it now I'm still pretty happy with it, sickeningly cheesy though it is. But sometimes I wonder if I was to write it now, if the tone of it would've turned out the same. Anyway, this was my first long fic for TLR and it'll always be special to me.
> 
> Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed the story!


End file.
